I'm very happy for both of you. The performance oriented nature of the organization and the absence of real love were keys in waking me up. I realized how cold and calloused the Borg were and how absolute they expected your assimilation to be lest you be ostracized as an apostate. They are slow to love, quick to shun. They just don't reflect the qualities of the one they claim to imitate, Jesus. I think it's great that he is taking time to research things for himself and to come to his own conclusions. It is the toughest thing I've ever had to do mentally, to break through strongly entrenched indoctrination, but the freedom is amazing afterward.
dubstepped
JoinedPosts by dubstepped
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Hubby has been doing research on the internet!!!!
by atacrossroads inmy husband was recently subjected to an intervention by his parents.
i am apparently a danger to his spirituality.
after i stopped attending meetings and went apostate hubby decided to resign as a ms to spend more time with me.
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Hello from an exmormon
by Cold-Dodger insomeone named john free popped in on one of my posts at exmormon[dot]com and mentioned this website.
i have a lot of questions.
i never knew much about about the jw church.
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dubstepped
I'm headed off to work for the day but I just wanted to mark this post and commend you CD for an awesome post. There are so many similarities and others have answered many of your questions that I'd love to weigh in on. Work calls though, but thanks for that inside look into Mormonism. -
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Should I be mad?
by kairos ini've been df'd for about six weeks now.no one has broken the obligation to "honor the disfellowshipping decree".that's the way notorious co paul kohler describes the "loving arrangement" that is jw shunning.
( just "serving" napa ).
so, my wife's family has been "loving me" ( barf ) when out of nowhere, one of them sends home homemade soup for me.... well, i got super pissed.
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dubstepped
Somebody sent soup. Eat it, or don't, but don't read into it. That's one of the tough things about shunning, it leaves everything to the imagination. You said that your rage was at an all time high. You might want to go see a therapist to help you process some of your feelings. This amount of rage over soup that was most likely a nice gesture is more likely the result of the emotions that have built up inside of you with no release. Go find someone to talk to that will help you release them by working through them. Rage is often just a mask for profound hurt that lies underneath. I spent many years of my life in rage and I finally realized that I had a tremendous amount of pain inside me. I started delving into that pain and let myself feel the sadness and disappointment and once I got it out the rage subsided. I found books like "Healing The Shame That Binds" to be great, along with many others on emotional abuse and other subjects.
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Video: "Iron Sharpens Iron"
by wifibandit inhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=joehewofiba.
is this supposed to placate the ones who have been recently fired?
is this a sign of the aging jw leadership?
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dubstepped
Holy Governing Body! Did I just hear the guy at around 19:00 or so tell me that he supports the difficult changes because he can feel the governing body governing? That we need the practice in being governed now because when Caesar is gone we'll need governing? I thought there was 100,000 kings and priests in the heaven, and some king named Jesus to govern us. Who knew that the governing body was going to rule us for 1,000 years in the paradise? That was the lamest answer that I've ever heard. The dissonance on display in this video is fascinating, disgusting, pitiable, and just awful. Admittedly I only skimmed this because it made me want to vomit, but thankfully I landed on this gem. He appreciates the governance of the governing body as they govern his every move like a government that likes to govern a lot. Idiots. -
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Today's watchtower: obey us, no matter what
by Tornintwo intoday's watchtower:.
obey us, obey us even when it seems strange, obeying our man made hierarchy equates to obeying god, sacrifice your own interests, work for us, don't be independent, put your own interests aside, obey some more, preach for us, build for us, enjoy it, obey some more, forgive when we are jerks to you and mistreat you, accept your changed assignment even if it seems cruel and doesn't make sense, don't complain if we move you (eg.
) because you might have to move in the new world, remember you are being trained to obey, remember to put your own interests aside, that's the way we are designed to live - it will only make you happy!
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dubstepped
I hate them and their message of Christian guilt. Eff 'em. That passive aggressive message, taken to heart by conscientious people like me back then, leads to depression and anxiety when you can't find the promised joy in living as they tell you to. To say that's how God wants it and how he designed us to live is pure assholery designed to manipulate people into serving the organization. If you're not happy leaving for them then something must be wrong with you. Manipulative self-serving narcissistic controlling jerks, the whole lot of them. -
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Did an EX-JW wake you up to TTATT or did you put the effort to wake up yourself?
by John Aquila inhow many of us were woken up by some apostate yelling false prophets at a convention?.
how many of us were woken up by someone holding a sign and yelling, what happened to 1975.
how many of us were coerced to investigate the wt because some ex-jw pulled up a bunch of old watchtowers magazines and told us to read the false predictions?.
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dubstepped
I don't think it gives us ideas on how to help people wake up, but instead if it is up to us to wake up on our own like I did and many others, it shows that we can't help more often than not. It has to be time for most people go make any change in life. They have to individually get to those circumstances. For me, it took years to be ready as the cult held me down for so long I had to get healthy in many ways to even see how unhealthy the cult was. Had people tried to get me to leave earlier I would have just dug my heels in deeper and it would have delayed my freedom. Life and time have a way of taking us down a path to escape if we're open minded. You can't force that.
The thing that helped me was to get new perspectives on things through books on non-religious subjects. Lots of self-help and psychological books really helped. I didn't know what I didn't know.
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How many of us are 'perfectionists'?
by FayeDunaway ini made a medium level mistake at work today, and when i make mistakes it really shakes me up and takes me a long time to recover.
it completely rattles me, makes me feel awful about myself.
my mind keeps going back to the mistake reliving how i could have let it happen.
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dubstepped
*raises hand*
My name is Mike, and I'm a perfectionist. I happen to have many years in recovery though. It is certainly something that exists within the population in general, and it is thought that there's a genetic component in some cases. With that said, how could we not be? If we are conscientious people raised in a cult that preached perfection, devoid of any allowance for the human condition, we didn't stand a chance. I almost committed suicide because I couldn't meet the standards set before me through the cult. I'm glad to have now found happiness instead of the pursuit of perfection.
I highly recommend the book "Happier" by Tal Ben-Shahar for my fellow sufferers. It was instrumental in a turning point for me.
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My mom passed away yesterday....
by minimus inthank you all for your sincere encouragement during these last few weeks.
finally, she is at peace.
i was with her , holding her hand when she died.
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dubstepped
Sorry for your loss Min'. -
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This is for all JW's out there...
by Divergent in.
sorry to be so blunt, but you only have yourself to blame if you realize something is wrong but allow your cognitive dissonance to kick in.
if you are confronted with facts which are reported by reliable sources which are hard to dispute and deny, and you choose to dismiss these as "apostate lies" rather than looking at these from an objective point of view, it's your fault and you deserve the consequences of willful ignorance!.
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dubstepped
Harshness puts people in a defensive position and the outcome is typically the opposite of that which is desired. Blaming and shaming only serves to push people down instead of offering them a hand up. If you shame someone they will feel like a bad person, and bad people don't have the energy to stand up and change their lives. The only thing you'll typically trigger is a depressive response, nothing that empowers anyone. -
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This is for all JW's out there...
by Divergent in.
sorry to be so blunt, but you only have yourself to blame if you realize something is wrong but allow your cognitive dissonance to kick in.
if you are confronted with facts which are reported by reliable sources which are hard to dispute and deny, and you choose to dismiss these as "apostate lies" rather than looking at these from an objective point of view, it's your fault and you deserve the consequences of willful ignorance!.
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dubstepped
I could build a house, but I'm lacking certain knowledge and tools. Eventually I might be able to get there, just like any victim of abuse. I battled dissonance for a long time until I was eventually given time to develop the tools to get free. Seeing something wrong and being able to do something about it are two different things. The meme or whatever in the OP is straight up ignorant.