Posts by Purza

I am the mother of one teenage daughter. I don't really know where I am going with this post -- I just know that I feel like I am going crazy. My daughter is 14 and is a very smart kid. She is a freshman and has taken two honors classes (science and english) and is on track for the college level courses for when she is a junior (we have a really good college level program at the high school she goes to). I know that I am very fortunate to have a kid that doesn't do drugs or engages in pre-marital sex, etc. Sure, she is a bit boy crazy, but so was I at her age.

I guess what gets me is her attitude. She thinks she rules the roost -- she EXPECTS me to be a taxi and her personal maid. Sure, I realize I have created the problem when she was younger, but I have been trying really hard to lay down boundaries and such. Her room is constantly a disaster and she basically tunes me out when I just ask her to do the few chores she has been assigned on a daily basis (empty dishwasher, play with dog, keep room clean and clean her own bathroom once a week). She is a slob and disrepectful and most of the time just thoughtless (oh, and absentminded too).

I have been a single mother pretty much since birth and perhaps I was too soft in her formative years.

Any words of wisdom from someone who has survived the teenage years? I know that she is a normal teenager, but is there anything I can do to help her to care about stuff around the house? Or do I back off now and hope for the best in the future? Btw, I have control issues and am an organization freak (so I know that I am far from being perfect). Perhaps it is just that our personalities just clash? Could there be hope that she may get some organization skills. . . . eventually?

Purza (just frustrated tonight)

12

Maybe they divorce less, but are they happy together?

by JH in

jw
friends

i met an ex-witness at the mall last week, and she told me that she recently divorced her husband.

both were witnesses for over 20 years.

i was surprised to hear that they were divorced.

Purza

My parents have been married for 40 years. They are not happy. My mother always told me she should have left my father years ago.

In all the couples I have know throughout the years I was a JW, I can only point to two that I really thought were happy. One couple is still together as dubs and the other couple -- the husband died. But I would say (from my limited perspective) those two couples looked truly happy.

Purza

22

Do You Now Feel Liberated Since Leaving The "Truth"?

by minimus in

jw
friends

i do.

once you realize how much bondage you were under....it's easy to feel good not having the weights of man made rules.

it's very liberating for me to tell people that i no longer associate with the jw religion----very liberating!!

Purza

Yes on one hand and No on the other.

I am glad I have left the org and that have looked at the other side and seen that it is not as bad as they said it would be. I am much happier now (and less burdened).

But no, because most of family is still in the org and because they refuse to have anything to do with me. That still hurts. So until I can get past the hurt, I won't be completely liberated.

But I am on my way.

Purza

21

Has anyone sucessfully talked a JW into quiting?

by JustTickledPink in

jw
friends

my mother doesn't speak to me although she will exchange emails with me.

we actually don't communicate much, but recently i sent her a few emails detailing things are wrong with the watchtower society.

her responses are laughable... but i am still printing out articles and mailing them to her about the un scandle, she of course doesn't believe it.. but has anyone sucessfully made any headway talking to a dyed in the wool jw and made any progress?

Purza

Wow JTP! Your situation sounds exactly like mine. My mother communicates with me via email and that is about it. She is around the same age and has been a JW for about 40 years. My mother's emails are laughable as well and I don't even share with her half of what I know! I don't even read them half the time as she has now resorted to quoting scriptures. Whatever!

And no, I have had no success in "helping" a family member leave. Although I dream about the day just one of my friends or family finally sees the light and leaves that organization.

Purza

26

Do You Still Get Afraid or Panicky When You Meet Up With A Witness?

by minimus in

jw
friends

just curious.

Purza

I wouldn't call it panic (although I haven't run into anyone I know yet). It is more like I get an adrenline surge -- maybe it is due to anger -- I just know I want to say my peace to them (but I never do). I saw them in the neighborhood a few weeks ago and I knew they were eventually going to get to my door and I was pacing around the house trying to figure out what to say. My fiancee opened the door and said that we weren't interested (that was easy ). LOL I guess I need to get the point where I can be indifferent.

Purza

190

All Secret Santa Paricipants sign in here please!

by Gadget in

jw
friends

the details of who to send a gift to will be getting pm'd to you all either friday afternoon or saturday morning!

according to the information i've found online the last posting day for standard parcels is dec 11th for usa and december 15th for the uk/europe, so you should all have plenty of time to select and send a gift, although sending sooner rather than later is prefered.

can everyone taking part post on this thread what things they like, what their interests are etc so that the person who is buying a gift for you has some idea what to get you.

Purza

I got a card from my SS that says my present is on its way and some very nice words!!!

Thanks orangefatcat!!!

Purza

20

I don't feel bad at all

by whyamihere in

jw
friends

i was with my kids at the laundry mat washing my huge duvet comforter and right in the middle of one of the table i saw 2 awake magazines.

i didn't even think or ponder on the moment i just went mad and ripped them up right infront of everyone.

i didn't care i thought to myself i saved someone that day.

Purza

Funny. My dad who has always been (and still is) a devout JW, used to burn the "older" issues in our fire place to get the fire started. LMAO I used to feel guilty that he was burning those old "towers".

Purza

128

DID ANYONE GET ANY PRESENTS YET?????

by mouthy in

hey when the gifts start arriving let us know !!!!

it took over a month for one of my gifts to florida & 3 weeks for the gift i sent to someone in california.... ( lousy u.s.a. post ) lol.

i sent one to england it got there in 10 days???

Purza

I went at lunch today and stood in line at the post office for about 10 minutes. I sent my package off from CA and they said it would arrive in WA state on Monday. So hopefully all goes well.

Purza

45

Is there new light on disfellowshipping?

by Chasity in

jw
friends

i had no idea there were so many ex jw's.

i have been out since 1998. officially booted in feb. 2001. i am not sure on what grounds though because i never went to my meeting.

all i heard is that accusations had been made.

Purza

Chastity--when I first read your post it sounded to me like your relative needed a cheap place to stay. Guess he figured it was okay because you were "family" and he could use that fact to justify to the elders later.

After hearing a talk at a circuit assembly, a brother and his fleshly sister realized that they needed to make adjustments in the way they treated their mother, who lived elsewhere and who had been disfellowshipped for six years. Immediately after the assembly, the man called his mother, and after assuring her of their love, he explained that they could no longer talk to her unless there were important family matters requiring contact.

Is that an oxymoron? He assures her of his love and then says he can no longer talk to her. WTF?

Shortly thereafter, his mother began attending meetings and was eventually reinstated. Also, her unbelieving husband began studying and in time was baptized.

Somehow I doubt this -- its sounds more like the WTBTS twisted this story to fit its own needs. Nothing new under the sun there. Sigh. . .

Purza