Welcome Franki. I know about the fear. It is a very scary situation for you to be in -- I know, I was there when I was 18. My dad was the PO when I left the house, moved in with my boyfriend and got DF'd. At the time, I thought my life was over. I had no contact with family or friends and it was shocking to me (at the time).
Just the fact that you know now that this religion is not right for you says a lot about you. Living a double life is not good either -- but you need to do what you can in order for you to cope. Someone said that counseling may help you and I agree.
Hang in there and keep visiting this site -- you will find much encouragement.
Purza