I posted something similar to this nosferatu put my first posting here. You think no matter what that you love her and you are willing to do anything seems to me you don't want to listen to what we are saying. Seems like this is common (wish i knew that before ) for the past couple of weeks others have written about the same thing. You are getting good advise now!! You are young things change. Why would you want to join this cult if you are an atheist to be with her. If you join it will be a lifestyle If you don't she will be harrassed that you are not in the "truth" do you really want to deal with that. I thought the differences shouldn't be major but with JWs it is!!! You would have to keep up in the meetings you couldn't have two different lifestyles. My ex never went to birthdays holidays, funerals, weddings, and if you do how would that work! As Nosferatu said love does not conquer all. I got tired of no compromise because they won't give an inch and you will be resentful of all you did for something you say you don't believe in. I thought he knows how much i love him i am the only one who is there for him not like those jw's who shun him. You are probably thinking this all sounds negative. But we don't want others hurt by this if possible, and you are asking for advice we have been there so we know what we are telling you. You think it's different she is different well let me tell we have been there too, and in all the other posts it's not different! I can say for myself, and I am sure for others that it's better to leave now then go through the battle, struggle and heartache that we know is all that awaits you if you continue with her. You are fighting a losing battle with as one former person posted a "lunatic army and your one ally your girlfreind might turn on you tomorrow"
prgirl79
JoinedPosts by prgirl79
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I need your help
by Veritas ini need to know if it's ok for me to convert and become a jehovah's witness to be with the love of my life.
i need to know what you think about this idea.
if you agree with me converting, how would i do so.
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situation,Hello everyone
by vampmonk inhey ladies and gentlemen, im vampmonk (obviously) and im new to this thing... i just wanted to ask for any advice possible.
i'm an athiest.
i apologise forehand if this offends any one, but such are the decisions we make in life, but back to my situation.
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prgirl79
wow... i never thought it was this bad? can it really be as bad as you all say? YES!!!!!
now i know everyone has told me to keep my distance, but she is really special to me, aside from what anyone else thinks, she really is. she is not really as bad as you all might think-- I
don't think any of us thinks she is bad. My ex was special to me I was with him for 5 years i loved him. You say now no matter what you won't abide to their religion. Well be ready for a battle. I/we are not saying they are bad people. My ex's family were nice to me they had me over for dinners etc, but no matter what the watchtower is the most important thing. YOU ARE NOT! You can accept her but they dont accept anyone else. They don't associate with others they shun you if you disobey any of their rules. You sounded like me it should be able to work out faith or no faith. He is a good person. Well it gets to be draining it takes a lot of energy and you will be heartbroken. It is very hard see People in other religions have religiously mixed relationships and manage just fine. The problem with the Watchtower org. is that mixing with worldly people (especially apostates) is discouraged so strongly that those who do are considered spiritually weak
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situation,Hello everyone
by vampmonk inhey ladies and gentlemen, im vampmonk (obviously) and im new to this thing... i just wanted to ask for any advice possible.
i'm an athiest.
i apologise forehand if this offends any one, but such are the decisions we make in life, but back to my situation.
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prgirl79
Concerned Mama,
Excellent Advise!! Vampmonk listen to her!!! It will be emotionally draining you are so young. You really don't need this baggage which is all it would be.
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situation,Hello everyone
by vampmonk inhey ladies and gentlemen, im vampmonk (obviously) and im new to this thing... i just wanted to ask for any advice possible.
i'm an athiest.
i apologise forehand if this offends any one, but such are the decisions we make in life, but back to my situation.
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prgirl79
Hi Jared,
Seems like this keeps on happening wish i saw this years ago, but hey you live and learn. My advise plain and simple is run now!! There are other girls out there. I was with a ex jw for 5 years relationships like these rarely work. Instead of rambling on you should look at this thread which has my opinion/advise plus others and is actually opened right now in this same area http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/20/72972/1.ashx. I also recommend you do your research JW's are a cult.
You should look up information on cults i like this website as it talks specifically about jw's http://users.uniserve.com/~renford/persuade.htm#intro www.jwfiles.com. and many others If you like to read Steve Hassan combatting cult mind control is a good book.
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advice please!
by blondy ini could really use some advice.
i have never been a witness, but my boyfriend is(3rd generation).
his father is an elder, and his whole family is really into it.
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prgirl79
Blondy,
I know it's hard, I know it hurts. I have been through this. Do you want to be with someone who feels they are doomed if they are with you? Do you celebrate holidays etc if so he won't be there for that. Do you want children raised this way?
I tried for 5 years to try and get my ex to move on, let me tell you it is hard and many times it doesn't work unless he is READY! You will be putting so much energy and waste your time in the process. You are fighting a battle by YOURSELF. Get out now don't wait the more you wait the worse it will be for you. It's not healthy for you to see him that way, and you can't help him meanhwile you feel torn as well. It is good that you asked this seems to happen all the time i felt like i was the only one. We are here if you need us. Please listen as many of us have been through this.
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advice please!
by blondy ini could really use some advice.
i have never been a witness, but my boyfriend is(3rd generation).
his father is an elder, and his whole family is really into it.
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prgirl79
Wow I read what you wrote and my heart and stomach sank. I was in your position. I was with my ex for 5 years thinking i would not leave him and show him love unlike the elders who disfellowshipped him. We would go back and forth and there would be a lot of crying throwing up both sides it was horrible. He believed he was doomed. I thought he would move on at some point since he never went back, and he did a lot of reasearch so he knows the "truth", but that just enough. I know it hurts i am still hurting it has only been 6 months, and he continues to write to me i haven't responded. But to them you are not first. Sometimes you have to let go yes it hurts but in time you will be better off. You have to think about what you are willing to settle for. If you continue to be with him it's harder and you will go through more heartache. This is very stressful and draining and will continue to be believe me 5 years of that. I could not deal with it anymore and felt i deserved better. Believe me your worth more than someone who is as scully says wishy washy about whether you are worth it.
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need to vent!!
by prgirl79 inso my ex emails me asking how i am doing and that he wrote to me a month ago he is not sure if i received it.
he sent it to two email addresses he must know i received it!!!
he has been emailing me asking me how i am since our break up.
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prgirl79
Cicatrix,
Thanks for your response. I was with him 5 years so i really know what jw's are about. I didn't know in the beginning and thought since he was disfellowshipped then we could work it out. He would comment on certain things theyw ould do yet hold on to not participating in things that were important to me. My friend of 8 years is getting married he would not enter the church. I couldn't imagine someone i care about passing away and he wouldn't go inside the church. i was tired of him controlling me my relationship was on his terms with no way to compromise. I am angry that he thought i was coming back and now he cares how i am like he cared when he never went anywhere with me. he acts like he doesn't understand but he is the one who would say i would leave him, i would resent him and feel free he is right.
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need to vent!!
by prgirl79 inso my ex emails me asking how i am doing and that he wrote to me a month ago he is not sure if i received it.
he sent it to two email addresses he must know i received it!!!
he has been emailing me asking me how i am since our break up.
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prgirl79
Hi Everyone,
So my ex emails me asking how i am doing and that he wrote to me a month ago he is not sure if i received it. He sent it to two email addresses he must know I received it!!! He has been emailing me asking me how i am since our break up. I haven't responded for what. Basically he was raised JW i was not
I feel like whatever you didn't give a damn before now you care how I am. Get the hint I don't call you I haven't come back. I don't ask how you are. He wants me to miss him so I go back to him on what his terms he is a selfish self centered a**hole. He said that he thought I was coming back. Shows me how appreciated I was. There was no compromise nothing to work on. Basically he would never be there for weddings, funerals, holidays birthdays. It feels so liberating when you don't deal with someone elses crap. He acts like what he is offering isn't bad so i should just accept it. No matter what he knows the real deal. He said i would resent him, leave him and feel free. Well there you go he was right. Acting like he was torn with the JW stuff he didn't move on before he met me while he was with me and still hasn't, and he knew he didn't want to move on. Yet I was the only one there for him. The one that cared not like those people who disfellowshipped him 7 years ago. He really needs a lot of help!!
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What first gave you doubts ?
by rick1199 inwe all know the big problems with the wts, but what was the first thing that made you realise there were problems with the organisation ?
with me it was realitivly small stuff like an 8 year old getting baptised and a comment my best mates made about another of our friends asking if we should be hanging round with her as she might be bad assciation (she had just been reproved, but they had been mates 20 years).. .
how ever the first time i ever thought something was really wrong was when i was about 11 and my grand farther died, and mu mum wouldn't go to the funeral, i remeber thinking that surely it was better to say good bye properly than worry about if the service was in a church.. .
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prgirl79
Well i was never in it, but what made me leave my ex who was disfellowshipped was a lot of what people mentioned here. It always felt wrong, when they would say why they don't do certain things, yet i stayed!! . I always felt like are you listening to yourself this doesn't make sense!!!!! I hated how they shunned him felt like who are they to judge? He told me they are only supposed to date people from the religion!! How when he was disfellowshipped to due to fornication what he did with her!!! How e thought after being disfellowshipped he was going to die at Armageddon!!! He wasn't encouraged to go to school, participate in after school activities or hang out with other kids!! I was raised Catholic and do not defend them for all the stuff they have done as well but i hated how they would scrutinize us and held other religions accountable but didn't look at what was being done in the halls!!! Also the lack of love he didnt' go to his grandmothers funeral service neither did his mother because it was in a Catholic Church i was totally disgusted. I realized i can't be with someone like this!!
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catholic church
by prgirl79 inhi well here in massachusetts where i live they were announcing catholilc churches that would be closed, due to lack of priests, and financial difficulties due to the lawsuits.
i was thinking about jw's and how they like this, they talk about look at the catholic church and what they do.
i am not defending the catholic church, but used to get pissed when my ex and his parents would talk about how wrong the catholic churches and other churches are.
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prgirl79
Good point danny the Catholic Church has done a lot of things which aren't good, but they do have charities, hspitals, school what do jw's do for the community nothing. They don't even help their own members.