Gill, I am so sorry for your troubles. I have been through similiar situations with my family, and they are just heartbreaking.
Sending you hugs and hopes that somehow you get to bring Grandpa home.
essie
my husband and myself used to be witnesses, but not for quite a long while now.
every last member of both our families are witnesses so i guess we're the proverbial black sheep, but we haven't been disfellowshiped or have me disassociated, just drifted quietly away.. my husbands grandfather, who is ninety-seven now, suffered a stroke a year ago.
he spent several months in hospital.
Gill, I am so sorry for your troubles. I have been through similiar situations with my family, and they are just heartbreaking.
Sending you hugs and hopes that somehow you get to bring Grandpa home.
essie
in the eastern democratic republic of the congo, women are enduring unspeakable acts of violence while the world remains largely unaware.
"they cut me with knives and machetes.
then they asked my sons to hold my legs and hands apart and started raping me--all eight of them.
These stories break my heart. There are some there locally who are trying to help these women and young girls. The problem is so huge, but at least they are trying one woman at a time to help.
Check this out:
http://www.fistulahospital.org/
and it's disgusting but it is true, that since there are no riches to be had by the US in these countries, our government won't get involved. It's the same thing with the pharmaceutical companies and the cost of AIDS drugs. Why should they reduce the cost of AIDS drugs and make more and more of them for those in poorest countries when they can rake in money hand over fist making Viagra and Cialis instead?
Revolting, how complacent our society is. Eve Ensler (who wrote the Vagina Monologues) is interviewed in Glamour magazine this month and has a new book out I think it's called The Good Body. I really want to read it. She believes that women are the ultimate force for good in the world and that if they could just spend a quarter of the time and money they devote to 'fixing' their physical selves to look 'better' that they could truly change the world. It's quite a concept.
Sadly, this abuse of women world wide continues because the world population, in general, permits it. Heartbreaking. Death would be too good for those who perpetrate crimes like these.
love,
essie
since we were indoctrinated that those leaving the organiztion had their lives turn into sh*t until they "returned to jehovah (the organization), how would you say things have turned out--so far?
?
I know that most of my family is shocked that I'm not an AIDS infected crack-wh***...
Me, my life is a million times better out than it was in. I can finally be who I am, and give people the choice to take or leave that. Many chose to leave it and stick with the Borg, but those friends and family I have acquired since leaving really know me, accept me, and love me for who I am.
That's something I will never be willing to give up again. Not to mention, the joy I have in watching my child blossom and turn into the human she is meant to be without guilt ruling her life. That is truly living and even if the eternal/multicultural never-ending petting-zoo picnic scenerio were real, I wouldn't give this up for that.
you know what i hate most about the wts?
that no matter how much you think you've put it all behind you... it still comes up and smacks you over the head every now and then.
saturday night, i visited my local bookstore/coffee shop.
Awww, Country Guy. I'm sorry you had to go through that. I've been there...believe me.
((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))
love,
essie
to whom it may concern: .
i was raised a jehovah?s witness and taught from infancy it?s beliefs and doctrines.
i was baptized on (date of baptism here) at the age of 12 years old.
I feel that because of the age I was when I became a baptized member of the Jehovah?s Witness faith, I was unable to make a personal, educated decision that would affect my life indefinitely. Jesus Christ himself waited until he was 30 years old to be baptized, therefore when I made that choice when I was 12 years old, I did so in ignorance, and under pressure from my family, members of the Congregation I was attending and from the Watchtower Bible and Tract Society by means of the Watchtower magazine and other printed material, therefore I am annulling my baptism. By this action, I have voluntarily resigned from the Watchtower organization and do not recognize the Society or the congregation elders as having any authority over me at all. Since I have annulled my baptism and resigned from the organization, and therefore no longer profess to be a Jehovah?s Witness, I prohibit you from disfellowshipping me or in any way defaming my character before others, including making a public announcement stating that I have disassociated myself. If I am disfellowshipped or am slandered in any way, I will take legal action against you.
Wow, Kwin, that is great. As another of the baptized under 13 crowd I concur that we had no idea what the hell we were doing.
Unfortunately, when I told similiar stuff to the local elders, they ignored my disassociating myself and df'd me anyway. I guess being the PO's daughter in law meant that I couldn't quit, they were going to fire me no matter what.
Best of luck to you, and all my hopes that for you and Mrs Kwin that life truly begins today. It's like a rebirth. Happy Birthday :)
hugs,
essie
today i visit the hospital for my pre-operative check up.
if i'm found to be fit and healthy once more, then i will be admitted back into wsm general in 2 weeks time to get reconnected.. which will mean goodbye to the bag and hello to my a**!
just in time for christmas.. it's something to with be able to withstand anasthesea.
All Eman wants for Christmas is...not his two front teeth *smile*
Hoping, hoping, everything is crossed for you Mike. Will be thinking of you and waiting for good news :)
love,
essie
as i walked back from the bank to my car yesterday i saw an elder and his wife from my old, old congregation.
i waved, but they didn't see me.
they entered their car, backed up and i stood exactly two feet away from their window smiling and waving.
But when your own family does it, it has a fresh and unnatural pain.Other than that, though, the entertainment possibilities are endless... bon discomme!
CZAR
Ain't that the truth, CZAR?
Congratulations (I think) Bradley. It does crack me up when the general rank and file shun me, kind of like I'm so evil that demons might rub off on them if they look at me. It is amusing, the lengths they go to to avoid eye contact. I loved it when they had to have me wait on them at my old job, they had no choice.
But with family...ugh I can't begin to articulate how it sucks. I'm still debating if I'm going to my grandmother's 'memorial' because of it.
But I'm glad that you can see the humor in it...by all means, keep that sense of humor. It will help; a lot.
hugs,
essie
...how do you cope when someone dear to you dies?.
i have felt this sense of total panic over me since my grandmother's passing earlier this week, because i don't know where she is or what is happening to her, if anything.
part of me clings to the jw indoctrination that she is just asleep, but i don't believe in the resurrection to life on earth anymore so that leaves me cold and empty.
thank you dear outnfree! You have a PM.
See you all when I get back into town, and thanks again I will be pondering all that you've said and all that I read at the links you shared with me.
love,
essie
my girlfriend is saying to me... .
just write a letter of disassociation, and join some other chat group and move on.
she loves you guys, because i often tell her about "what's going on here.
OMG! what happened when you went back, if you can talk about it, how was it trying to do it again? I just don't think I could ever stand it again. At least I hope not...I'm glad that you got back out!
I'm off to pack for a trip I am going on tomorrow but I will check back to read your answer soon as i can and hopefully before I leave town.
Hang in there and remember, do what feels right in your healing.
hugs!
essie
my girlfriend is saying to me... .
just write a letter of disassociation, and join some other chat group and move on.
she loves you guys, because i often tell her about "what's going on here.
(((((con)))))))) big hugs.
As someone who has come and gone several times (to the point of being a joke for doing it, but that's okay...) I have gone and come back for different reasons each time.
I forget who it was but someone said before that when you have family in, things come up that keep you stuck on some points. I found that the things that brought me back here were family situations and a desperate need to talk about it with the only other people in the world who can really understand; and that is other people who are going through it.
The only really good reason to leave is because you're ready. Even if that means ready for a break. You can go and come back. For awhile I had to leave because preaching the ex-JW gospel had become a full time job and I was literally exhausted physically and emotionally. But each time I have gone and come I have learned and I hope, have become a better person in the process with more to add to help others here in the process. It's all about learning.
Your GF may never understand what you get out of being here. But that's okay, because there will be things about her that you won't get, everyone has their things. Stay until you feel you can't gain or give anymore positively by being here. Then you'll know when it's time to move on. No one can hit your emotional fast-forward button, such things don't exist.
Ask her for patience, and if she wonders why we need to be reminded that we're not crazy, ask her to read the recent threads about my grandmother and what my family is putting me through. Then she should see that we really need each other, and everyone here in this place, for however long they stay, serves an important purpose, to themselves, and to others.
hugs,
essie