((((((((((((Cowboy))))))))))
love you, old friend!!!
Posts by Fleur
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24An Esmerelda by any other name would still be just as screwed up.
by Fleur ini've lost old hotmail accounts and the old account info that went with them.
but it is me, es, essie, esmerel/alda, in addition to anything else obscene i may be known by in these parts.. i just pounded this out in pure frustration.
i'm probably going to get heckled for posting it but what the hell, there isn't anywhere else i can go where people will get this, and i can't keep it inside, it has got to go somewhere before my brain explodes.. so here it is.why did i go to that restaurant today?
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Fleur
got to love gonzo's nose...
(he's a weirdo and so am i, i love the muppets btw...)
fleur
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36
So what exactly IS an apostate?
by somebodylovesme ini was under the impression that an apostate was anyone who left the witnesses, was df'ed/da'ed, or was just actively opposed to them.
but i was reading in my hubby's old "reasoning book" that an apostate is one who professes to believe in christ (but not the jws), claims to serve god (but is not a jw), tries to pull away current jws or attack them.
so, by that definition, would someone who fades away and professes no religion still be considered an apostate if he or she didn't try to take anyone with them and did not attack the religion?.
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Fleur
*raises hand* Me! I am!
Oh...wait, I thought you were asking who was an apostate. Sorry ;)
but then again i'm not trying to get any followers so maybe i don't qualify after all...
~fleur
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18
The Best years of our lives...
by Jonty Parkin inhello friends!.
well, i never thought i'd see the day when i was prepared to talk about my 20 plus years in "the truth" (rolls eyes upward in despair)!
in view of what i have to show from it, i cannot help thinking that i wasted the best years of my life!
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Fleur
Welcome, welcome, welcome.
I'm up late with insomnia and about to retire, but just wanted to tell you that I too have found greater happiness since leaving than I ever knew living in the org, and I was born in.
I too had a failed (JW) marriage, left him and the organization in one swoop, and am now remarried and happier than I have ever been, much to the consternation of my JW relatives.
Not that it's all flowers and sunshine, the effects of leaving (including being shunned by most of my family) are still here, but I wouldn't trade the life I have now, no way.
Hope to hear more posts from you. Don't look back, if you can help it. The best is ahead of you, and me both, I believe. Thank you for your post.
fleur
ps, what a lovely picture :)
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41
"Jehovah will fix it"
by onacruse ingawwwwwwddd, how many times did i say that, and how many times have i heard it.
notice how much it has to do with nebulous isues?
"that elder is an unchristian jerk.
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Fleur
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!! hearing that phrase along with 'wait on jehovah' is something have no tolerance for at ALL anymore.
when my mom says it, i'm thinking "wait how long, mom? " i mean for crying out loud, how bad does the world have to GET? the sheeple will believe anything, its so sad.
well i hope he hurries the hell up because i have a friend who is in her 30's, has 2 children, (one autistic) a husband in iraq and oh, she was just diagnosed with a malignant BRAIN TUMOR.
but she's an unbeliever, so i guess god won't fix anything for her any time soon, right? at least she'll be out of her misery when armageddon comes right, cause she's praying sincerely but to the wrong god. and if i were rolling my eyes any higher they would leave my head.
s'cuse me while i vomit. jw's are so sanctimoniously self righteous it makes me SICK!
fleur
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57
This site has been the most incredible help to me-UNTIL TODAY
by ohiocowboy inreading through some of the recent posts, ie; the topic of lazarus and the gay issue, i was flabbergasted at what i was reading.
i can't believe-well maybe i can, that some people on this site are calling gay people "faggots", and telling that person that they are going to get "what sodom and gomorrah got".. this site has been a godsend to me, and have been telling my friends how nice it is to be in with a group of people who can relate to my life, my feelings, my insecurities, and my fears relating to the org.
and not being a part of it anymore.
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Fleur
awww, ohiocowboy, there are a few in every group, aren't there? (((((((((hugs))))))))
please don't take it to heart. I think its safe to say that most here have a much more enlightened view...myself, i may be a straight woman, but if gay people are gonna 'get what sodom and gomorrah got' or whatever, then line me up with them when judgement comes cause i sure as hell don't want to live with the bigots that would supposedly be left behind.
((((((((((((((((((((((((((ohio)))))))))))))))))))))))))))
at some point, especially when we're new around here, we each see something that sends us reeling. for some it may be a comment directed at them personally, for others, something else, but it sends them running saying "what was i thinking? i don't belong in this place!"
there is much help to be had here, and some fine people. but like everywhere you go in life, there are those who will condemn you and call you things (I've been called a fornicator and adulteror myself, since we're sharing nasty labels...) i've been called a w*ore too and that was by the first man who swore his love and was supposed to protect and cherish me.
there are idiots, don't let them get you down. it's not worth it.
more hugs,
fleur
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46
Life Sucks
by Xena in.
no prospects for the future except getting old and dying...most likely alone.. all seems kind of pointless sometimes, doesn't it?
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Fleur
(((((((((((((Xena))))))))))))))))))
been having one of those weeks myself, hope it doesn't feel so hard to carry now, that you'll realize that you've got more inside you to keep you going than any person outside of yourself could give you.
did that make sense? well, here's a hug even if it didn't...
~fleur
(you might remember me as esmeralda)
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24
An Esmerelda by any other name would still be just as screwed up.
by Fleur ini've lost old hotmail accounts and the old account info that went with them.
but it is me, es, essie, esmerel/alda, in addition to anything else obscene i may be known by in these parts.. i just pounded this out in pure frustration.
i'm probably going to get heckled for posting it but what the hell, there isn't anywhere else i can go where people will get this, and i can't keep it inside, it has got to go somewhere before my brain explodes.. so here it is.why did i go to that restaurant today?
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Fleur
((((((((((slippydear and frannie and out!!!!!!))))))))))))))
thanks, it all seems so much clearer hearing it from outside my own head. it helps to know that i'm not just going mad...
slippy, you should see our house on christmas morning lol. you cannot walk for all the packages. the tree often has to sit on top of some of them, my daughter talks about it constantly, and we have indepth talks about religion and the problems it causes in the world when two opposing groups of people both believe that they have the 'only' true religion. She sees the reports about the war, we have explained to her that the problems in many countries are due to the fight over 'holy' land and religion, and she wants nothing to do with any of it. she knows full well that the organization is the cause of the rifts in our family, and she says to me "Mom, i don't know what i should do," about becoming a jw to please her father. i told her that is a decision she can't possibly make as a child, and that she shouldn't even consider such a thing until she's no longer a minor. that gives me at least another 10 years to be sure that what he does doesn't sink in.
the other light at the end of the tunnel is that he hasn't been attending meetings with any regularity in the past year, he didn't even try to take her to the memorial this year. so maybe...it might not always be as hard as it is now.
I may end up being the agnostic that raises an athiest, but there are worse things, I know. I'd rather raise someone who doesn't believe god exists than someone who believes that he's going to wave a magic wand that kills 7 billion people and only lets a few live if they jump through the hoops of men.
i'm certain i'm making no sense here at all...certain of it. but rambling on none the less...you guys help so much, thank you.
*raising my glass too to my fellow comrades...*
oh, and slippy, neurological problems, why i can't drive anymore. it sucks, believe me...it's like being freaking 14 again. only i was much cuter then...
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24
An Esmerelda by any other name would still be just as screwed up.
by Fleur ini've lost old hotmail accounts and the old account info that went with them.
but it is me, es, essie, esmerel/alda, in addition to anything else obscene i may be known by in these parts.. i just pounded this out in pure frustration.
i'm probably going to get heckled for posting it but what the hell, there isn't anywhere else i can go where people will get this, and i can't keep it inside, it has got to go somewhere before my brain explodes.. so here it is.why did i go to that restaurant today?
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Fleur
no one else has any sage advice and wisdom to share?
how about answering this question...does it really, truly ever get any easier? i thought it was getting easier, but sometimes i feel like i'm right back where i started...even though i know that's not true...
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41
What music are you listening to right now, and where are you?
by Satans little helper instaind - outside, the original version, i am currently stuck in a hotel room in northern paris
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Fleur
a hotel room in paris...wow...sounds romantic.
i am currently listening to my immortal by evanescence on a loop...been listening to the new ben jelen cd a lot lately too...and i'm currently lost in my thoughts a million miles from where i sit...
essie