Posts by Markfromcali

21

Communication from the subconscious

by seattleniceguy in

jw
friends

it's been a while since i've posted here.

hope you all remember me!

in the final months before i left the organization, in the days before i consciously could accept that it was not the truth - indeed, before i could even entertain such a notion on the conscious level - my subconscious knew the truth, and it took to sending me ever stronger messages.

Markfromcali

My subconscious was demanding that I be honest with myself!

The subconscious is honest and truthful, and even has integrity in a sense, but it's not necessarily smart. In other words, there is a difference between being truthful to yourself and knowing the truth of things. The subconscious just can't lie, you might say, but it can be lied to.

In the bigger picture it just goes to show there is some separation, which is the real cause of conflict. The specific issue is not as important as the matter of unification of mind, since when that is done the answer to the particular issues will follow naturally. It's not so much a matter of facing facts, you need to face yourself. You might still have a good bottleneck with the subconscious, but just a little more bandwidth in this way may be good enough.

122

Do you fear death?

by onacruse in

jw
friends

.

the ultimate test of our existence: termination.. i don't fear death...no reservations, no nightmares.. craig

Markfromcali

That's the thing Craig, I'm not figuring anything out so it doesn't take a lot of brainpower, the extent of my mental effort is only in trying to describe.

122

Do you fear death?

by onacruse in

jw
friends

.

the ultimate test of our existence: termination.. i don't fear death...no reservations, no nightmares.. craig

Markfromcali

Had you not mentioned that Mark's comment was Calvinistic

Is that what he was saying?

Of course, I'm not even sure what being Calvinistic mean - the extent of my education on Christian teachings is just from the JW period, I just don't hold that information in the same way anymore.

Edited to add: And I was not a research kinda guy, (still not really) pretty much your rank and file. I haven't found that much need to assimilate a lot of information.

122

Do you fear death?

by onacruse in

jw
friends

.

the ultimate test of our existence: termination.. i don't fear death...no reservations, no nightmares.. craig

Markfromcali

Craig, there can be an intellectual recognition, but this is just insight and not really awakening. Likewise an emotional experience that is separate from the mind is also not it. (people can have some deeply moving experiences and believe in the craziest things can't they)

The emphasis on the self, on personal identity is because the thing that dies is what is 'reborn', or freed. So if you have an idea that dies, or even the intellect - one can be reborn intellectually, but this is not the whole person. The mind may be free, but the rest of them is not. Of course, some people are just naturally more of an intellectual anyway, so in that case that may not change. However the point is if the personal identification drops away, then the renewal can begin from the center there and spread out. When someone focuses on acquiring knowledge or emotional experiences, that may just add to more beliefs and emotional idenfication that has to be seen through.

I hope it's clear that 'mystical' can be very ordinary. It can be as simple as being glad to be alive, but even that thought is too much. Often people seem to touch into that and have the experience, but then it doesn't go very deep because they end up reducing it to a thought or maybe song lyrics. In this case it would be a matter of knowing what it is to be alive, and even a sense of gladness and gratitude is superficial in comparison.

When we are touched by something that's true, that is real, we wake up to what is real in ourselves. When this happens, the person - if it comes through that way - may seem to be "balanced" in emotion and intellect, which basically translates to love and wisdom, but really it's more that it is one coherent whole. But if you pause and notice you'll see it isn't even that, it's not how together they are - there's something deeper going on, the only thing that is going on.

122

Do you fear death?

by onacruse in

jw
friends

.

the ultimate test of our existence: termination.. i don't fear death...no reservations, no nightmares.. craig

Markfromcali

Forgetmenot, for what it's worth I (and others) have found that although it is scarey before it happens, you find out you never were that person you thought of as "me", and you actually feel more, not less. Also it's a great load off your shoulders, because it takes a lot of energy to constantly reinforce this image of me. When you finally let go, you have all this energy that's freed up - energy to live. Could it be what we're afraid of is not dying, but living? A static image of self is hardly alive, the more you let go of the image the more you can live unconditionally. You said the thing you most fear is wasting your life away, I say then live your life to the fullest, so much so that you don't have time to worry about wasting it - and then you won't be.

13

Need info. on fading

by kls in

i didn't fade from the cult ,i just left so i don't know how fading work's.

do you attend meeting less offten ,do you attend a meeting then not go for a few weeks, then go back then stay away for a month etc.

if you fade to fast do you have to worry about the dredded talk with the elders?

Markfromcali

I can't comment much on fading since I basically went 'cold turkey' and they didn't bother me too much, but let me say this: When you find yourself doing something, thinking something, or saying or not saying something that makes you look like a JW - don't believe it. Just look at how we tend to have brain farts normally about everyday things, you can't believe every thought that comes through your mind - and in the case of the JW conditioning you know it's just because it was drilled into you all those years. So don't judge yourself by the frequency of the occurance of this kind of behavior, just don't buy into it. You can have such thoughts and little habits and not have it affect your peace of mind. And when it comes to doing new things, what's to say you can't think or even feel you shouldn't and do it anyway? I'm not saying turn off your natural instinct - certainly don't harm yourself, but the same thing applies. And on the other side of the coin, doing a bunch of wild and crazy things doesn't prove a damn thing about how free you are, sometimes people just react that way - and it's just the photo negative of the JW mindset. You will find your own way, you can trust in that.

122

Do you fear death?

by onacruse in

jw
friends

.

the ultimate test of our existence: termination.. i don't fear death...no reservations, no nightmares.. craig

Markfromcali

LT,

Enjoying our connection to the divine is one thing, but keeping it's benefits to ourselves is inexcusable, IMHO.

Especially when there is no self to keep it to or from, it just shows one is still confused.

774

Freedom to Choose God

by UnDisfellowshipped in

come to the wedding.

' for i say to you that god is able to raise up children to abraham from these stones.

Markfromcali

LT:

We are prone to attempt to once again take on the weight of ego, "thinking" that there may be more, when reality has already been attained.

I just read this today: "Reality does not seek reality, reality does not obtain reality, reality does not practice reality, reality does not see reality, but finds its way naturally."

774

Freedom to Choose God

by UnDisfellowshipped in

come to the wedding.

' for i say to you that god is able to raise up children to abraham from these stones.

Markfromcali

HI Littletoe:

It is exactly because of the similarities in experience to my own "Christian" one that I don't discount anyone. Besides, who am I to judge?

No, it is not about judging - but the point is it isn't about belief, that is it is not about any mental process, I'm sure you'd agree it goes deeper than that.

IMHO that may be easier to do within the Christian ethos, than the Zen one, however. The reason being found in the question "What (or who) do I submit to?", wherein the object of that submission is then internalised or more correctly universalised.

I can see where you're coming from, but remember in Zen atleast the surrender is so unconditional that there is no longer separation of subject and object, and thus no 'doing'.

Walking a "Christian" life or a life of "humility" is (IMHO) a fruit (rather than a precursor) of such experience, which I believe it is open to all who will accept it.

It starts that way, but as there is ultimately no separation it is not about experience and anyone who has an experience. To quote Wei Wu Wei: "True humility is the absence of anyone to be proud." This to me is the point where you can say someone is 'Born Again'. Until that point the process has simply not been completed. So it is just a matter of being specific as to where things are in the overall process. I believe they also call it stream entry, where 'you' are not coming back. "No one has love greater than this, that he should give his life on behalf of his friends."

20

Disfellowshipped.....

by New Castles in

yesterday i saw an old friend from a long time ago, like when we were kids.

she responded a shy hello.

when i asked how she was doing she responded that she was disfellowshipped.

Markfromcali

It must have been a touching moment, thanks for sharing that with us.

You know, I knew a few young guys in my area that was disfellowshipped, and I remember people in car groups saying 'so weird those disfellowshipped people all hang out together' - well for one thing, who else do they have? But more to the point has it occurred to your insensitive hearts that maybe, just maybe because they were so hurt that their hearts has opened up in love to each other, as opposed to you judgemental fools??