im assuming this is finally it for me and my family.. i havent been to a meeting in probably 2 and a half months but im just considered weak by most i presume.
i had decided to let my son go trick or treating for the first time this year, after all my wife and i decided to raise him as a normal kid.
so last month when he came home from school and said to us "someone asked me at school what i as going to be for halloween and i told them batman", i just said "oh really" and acted excited for him.
Out of the mouths of babes is right...! LoL! I love this story....maybe you can thank Jehovah for using your little son as the channel through which he let this come out in the open. Seriously...you could look at it that way, Thank you Lord for the innocence of children. Yay!
Don't worry about them, you sound like you are doing just great.
aj
our 15 year old dog died this afternoon..............with assistance from a veterinarian friend of rachel's (princess).
she was old, sick, and with multiple health issues.
it was a really hard decision, but the vet really helped ease my mind, by assuring me it was time.
I am so sorry for you, Mulan. This year we lost our sweet "Brew" who was our 16 year old Corgi and our
old Mama cat, 18 yoa! Animals are family, I know it is so hard to lose them.
Thinking of you,
AJ
hey everyone i know its been a while since i posted but today i felt the need.just wanted to update you all on my position which is still brainwashed!i just dont know what to do i gain my strength to conquer this disease,(thats what i call being born in the org) from others like freedom lover who have come out of this religon free and clear i know its not easy but i know it can be done.i dont know why i just cant get over it and move on already,but theres thats piece of me that says,but what if?then im back, screwed and tatooed with jdub on my forehead,thinking that jehovah is upset and dissapointed with me and satan has me in his grasp.im stil sooo confused even with all the evidence pointing to they are full of crap!what if they arent?i just want to know the truth even if i dont choose to follow it,i want to know if jehovah is watching me torment myself every day,going back and forth and i cant take it anymore.then i think what if there is no jehovah?who the hell am i praying to with my daughter at night?
(the air mabe)you see my daughter still believes even though she is ready to celebrate halloween this year and yes we bought her a costume,cinderella!my mother comes and takes her every now and then only if i promise to go to some meetings and i did last weekend i attended the sunday meeting for once in a about 6 months!felt strange to be there but once again going to a different cong i got love bombed.btw i feel guilty and scared about having anything to do with halloween this year.yup still dealing with the guilt,fear,agony,of knowing and believing in the dubs,for so long now trying desperately to get out without feeling the way i do.i just dont know what to do anymore and its a shame because the dubs have sucked the life out of me(guess i didnt check my doubts soon enough).if i dont get off the fence soon im going to go nuts.i like believeing that satan doesnt even exist and that there is no heavenly org.gives me peace of mind that i can just live my life,if theres a god,fine,is it jehovah?thats where the conflict arises and i cant just go on with my life thinking jehovah has lost me to the other side!
!im not a lost cause yet guys.i need new light!
AG: Do you want your own precious daughter to go through these feelings (see your previous post below)?? Thnk about it. YOU are on the Right track now to the Truth...happiness, contentment with your own family (hubby and daughter).
| Re: Embarrased that you were a JW? | ||
| Post 13 of 23 since 17-Jul-05 | Tell me about it i was wicked embarrased to go knocking on doors as a kid and teen out in service.I would make up every excuse in the world to get out of going to the doors.It never worked i always had to go,sometimes i would pretend to ring the bell(if the door had a bell) and i would walk away quick if no one came to the door after like 1 knock.LOL. The worst thing was when i went to a door and one of my schoolmates lived there,o god just kill me.I was so afraid to be the laughing stock of my school,me and my sisters.Luckily i wasnt.It was almost equally embarrasing to stand up at the flag salute and b the only one without your hand over your heart and everyone looking at you like,"Whats with her?" | |
my former colleagues at the clinic i used to work at took me out for lunch today.
what i didn't know was that they'd arranged a "birthday" party for me.
although my birthday isn't until june they wanted to celebrate the 25 birthdays i've missed while a jw.
This brought tears to my eyes...what great friends! Happy Unbirthday to you,
AJ
for those of you who will be disgusted that i even attended the meeting, let alone allow my son to give his first public talk tonight, please, spare me the shouting messages.
i take full responsibility for what i experienced this evening.
yet, i feel the need to share this experience that has me enraged.
FMW: Good luck with your situation. How about getting your son his own Bible, a student bible, Walmart has excellent inexpensive ones...or ask at any church, they'd be glad to help you out.
Show him right away the false words in the NWT, how they have changed their words to reflect what they want it to say.
You don't need to do much, just tell him you don't want him getting involved with anything that teaches lies....and give him a little
understanding of what a cult is, on a level that he can understand. (They use ONLy their own teachings; they pull people away from family by
giving up celebrations...that is enough).
I would have been totally infuriated at the KH, too. But you must take the reins and teach hiim the reasons why he shouldn't study anymore with them.
Best to you, AJ.
what a depressing birthday for me.
this is the longest i have ever been single(6 months and lots of self-loving was necessary to make it this long)
and so although i did not want to wake up this morning.
Lots and Lots of Positive, Happy Birthday Wishes to you! I wish you were nearby, I would take you out for a birthday treat just like my own daughters! And....someday...you will probably have the opportunity to do just that for one of your own children! Yay! Stay positive, you are growing happier and healthier by being on this board....
The best to you,
AuntieJ
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this is a new thread started from the one my husband left yesterday............ hi everyone,this is gringojjs wife.i thankyou all for your comments and your help,really makes me feel better about my situation especially since i see that most of what im going through alot of you have been through the exact same thing.it makes me realize im not the only one and that i can get through this tough time like most of you have.i can really identify with the poster who made the comments about being scared after leaving,not realizing if it was the right decision or not.i am really scared of armagedon,of invisible wicked forces the wts teaches you to turn away from,just like the poster i watched a horror film a couple nights ago and it was about demonism,i was extremely scared i was going to be bothered by the demons for getting involved in watching those kinds of movies.its ridiculus how scared i was,just believing in satan and his demons,and what they could or could not do.something my husband doesnt really understand because he doesnt believe in satan or jehovah or a god at all,but when you do believe its scary to think you are upseting god or on the side of satan.i dont know where i am at right now i do know that im confused,the witnesses coming to the door,halloween coming up......which btw i celebrated last year but my concience is really doing me in this time.........i dont know what to do with the kids !
do they celebrate do they not?i dont know, when the time comes mabe i will but i know one thing i have to make a choice, for my husbands sake,for my sanity,and for our children.i am glad i have people to share my pain and suffering with,my mother says i dont want to suffer at all because im afraid of losing my husband if i become baptized,she says thats what you have to do for the truth....suffer....im not going to be happy suffering through life and for what?mabe nothing.i am not afraid of losing my husband i am afraid of dissapointing my mom but im not going to stay in a religon that makes me totally screwed up in the head.i used to have panic attacks when i was attending meetings i havent had one since not attending,i still have exterme anxiety from worry and fear but no panic attacks....hm....go figure!last thing,the other day a born again christian approched me by my local post office and asked me if i was interested in attending his church.i simply told him no thankyou my children are already screwed up enough from the jws.
Honey if you are open to therapy, I strongly suggest it. My 2 daughters have dealt with depression in their young lives and both did so well with therapy. It's just like getting help for any other medical condition....why put up with the pain when there are ways to help make it feel "all better"?
You and your husband sound like a great couple; I don't post here much, or know any of the people here, really, but I came here to learn about my JW relatives....my nephew and niece. When they would not come into the church where their own father's (my brother) funeral service was, it opened my eyes and I wanted to learn more about the JW teachings. I was so sad to find out how heavy they laden the young ones with misguided teachings. Well...not to ramble on, but I do encourage you to seek a therapist to help you through this, I feel you will only grow from it.
Peace,
AuntieJ
i am missing myrna again.
this time of year she made sure we all got together.
i am tearing up again in thankfulness.. darn that date snuck up on my calendar, and i was not prepared.
Good for you, it is so healthy to be open about our feelings and not carry the baggage
of our emotions. Blessings to you and yours,
AJ
.
this is a new thread started from the one my husband left yesterday............ hi everyone,this is gringojjs wife.i thankyou all for your comments and your help,really makes me feel better about my situation especially since i see that most of what im going through alot of you have been through the exact same thing.it makes me realize im not the only one and that i can get through this tough time like most of you have.i can really identify with the poster who made the comments about being scared after leaving,not realizing if it was the right decision or not.i am really scared of armagedon,of invisible wicked forces the wts teaches you to turn away from,just like the poster i watched a horror film a couple nights ago and it was about demonism,i was extremely scared i was going to be bothered by the demons for getting involved in watching those kinds of movies.its ridiculus how scared i was,just believing in satan and his demons,and what they could or could not do.something my husband doesnt really understand because he doesnt believe in satan or jehovah or a god at all,but when you do believe its scary to think you are upseting god or on the side of satan.i dont know where i am at right now i do know that im confused,the witnesses coming to the door,halloween coming up......which btw i celebrated last year but my concience is really doing me in this time.........i dont know what to do with the kids !
do they celebrate do they not?i dont know, when the time comes mabe i will but i know one thing i have to make a choice, for my husbands sake,for my sanity,and for our children.i am glad i have people to share my pain and suffering with,my mother says i dont want to suffer at all because im afraid of losing my husband if i become baptized,she says thats what you have to do for the truth....suffer....im not going to be happy suffering through life and for what?mabe nothing.i am not afraid of losing my husband i am afraid of dissapointing my mom but im not going to stay in a religon that makes me totally screwed up in the head.i used to have panic attacks when i was attending meetings i havent had one since not attending,i still have exterme anxiety from worry and fear but no panic attacks....hm....go figure!last thing,the other day a born again christian approched me by my local post office and asked me if i was interested in attending his church.i simply told him no thankyou my children are already screwed up enough from the jws.
One more important thing: You have a hubby who loves you so much he has spent hours of time on this board trying to learn how to communicate with you for the betterment of your marriage and family. How wonderful is that...and how blessed you are. Give him a special hug today and thank him for caring so much.
Auntie
.
this is a new thread started from the one my husband left yesterday............ hi everyone,this is gringojjs wife.i thankyou all for your comments and your help,really makes me feel better about my situation especially since i see that most of what im going through alot of you have been through the exact same thing.it makes me realize im not the only one and that i can get through this tough time like most of you have.i can really identify with the poster who made the comments about being scared after leaving,not realizing if it was the right decision or not.i am really scared of armagedon,of invisible wicked forces the wts teaches you to turn away from,just like the poster i watched a horror film a couple nights ago and it was about demonism,i was extremely scared i was going to be bothered by the demons for getting involved in watching those kinds of movies.its ridiculus how scared i was,just believing in satan and his demons,and what they could or could not do.something my husband doesnt really understand because he doesnt believe in satan or jehovah or a god at all,but when you do believe its scary to think you are upseting god or on the side of satan.i dont know where i am at right now i do know that im confused,the witnesses coming to the door,halloween coming up......which btw i celebrated last year but my concience is really doing me in this time.........i dont know what to do with the kids !
do they celebrate do they not?i dont know, when the time comes mabe i will but i know one thing i have to make a choice, for my husbands sake,for my sanity,and for our children.i am glad i have people to share my pain and suffering with,my mother says i dont want to suffer at all because im afraid of losing my husband if i become baptized,she says thats what you have to do for the truth....suffer....im not going to be happy suffering through life and for what?mabe nothing.i am not afraid of losing my husband i am afraid of dissapointing my mom but im not going to stay in a religon that makes me totally screwed up in the head.i used to have panic attacks when i was attending meetings i havent had one since not attending,i still have exterme anxiety from worry and fear but no panic attacks....hm....go figure!last thing,the other day a born again christian approched me by my local post office and asked me if i was interested in attending his church.i simply told him no thankyou my children are already screwed up enough from the jws.
Welcome, I wish you well in your journey out. My advice, simply:
Baby steps, and big, slow deep breaths. Be easy on yourself first and
foremost.
Peace,
AuntieJane
