Posts by bull01lay

23

I didn't realize how much it had affected me...

by Aztec in

jw
friends

.

the witnesses have infiltrated!

anyway, love ya all!.

bull01lay

Congrats on standing up to yer dad! Must have took some courage that one!

IIZ2COOL: "I've been hearing much of the same lately. Even though I'm "out" my mom has some idea that I still believe in it on some level, so she's trying to work on it."

I hear you on that one - constant barrage of how little time there is every time I go around. I was brought up with " The new system will be here before you go to Junior school, senior school.... it'll be here before you finish Senior school...." and time is still short!!! Anytime I point that out, i get the "J will do it in His own time", but it's very close now!!

I often say to people that the day my Mum stops trying to get me to go back, is the day I know she no longer cares about me. But sometimes..... AAAAAGH!!! It doesn't half get on my nerves!

Anyway, I digress....... Well done dude!

35

I told my mom I was going to Dallas and she FLIPPED OUT

by logansrun in

jw
friends

dear gentle members, .

remember the thread i started about my "liberal" jw mother?

well, forget all about that.

bull01lay

Hi Bradley,

1st - Glad to hear you're still going to the apostafest - It's important to let people see that even though they might have strong opinions / aversions to things, you are still your own person!!

2nd - You've got guts, Dude! I have a close relationship with my Mum too, and don't know if I could tell her about something like an apostafest / talking to othe ex-jaywits on the net.

Xena made a good point about 'people being afraid for you when you mention the internet' etc - my family has a PC now (gradually moving out of the dark ages - which a 'loving brother' ripped them off with!!), but has refused all my attempts to get her online. She thinks the internet is EVIL - a tool of the Devil. The WTS have made several references to the dangers of the internet - with a controlling influence like that, can you blame them for being scared ????

Don't worry too much about the outburst with your Mom - It can be a good thing sometimes, clears the air, and gets issues out into the open. Just look at her with big, doughy eyes, and she won't be able to resist for long!!

Dead jealous that you're going and I'm not!! Enjoy yourself out there!! Looking forward to some great stories!!!!!!!!

Bull.

29

Poll: Anyone thought they sinned against Holy Spirit? Any anxiety or anger?

by SAHS in

jw
friends

certainly not that i would ever imply that anyone would have sinned against the holy spirit, but i was just wondering how may people either think they may have done this, or in the past thought they may have, or if they felt they were ever a victim of that wt scare tactic.

if so, did you at some point in your life feel anxiety over it?

did you ever feel anger about being misled into thinking you had when you realize now that you really couldn?t have (at least by that time)?

bull01lay

Well, if ya really wanna know.......

I was a 14 yr old horny bag of hormones that enjoyed the 'pleasures of the palm... Shaking hot white coconuts from the veiny love tree, owninism. or whatever else you wanna call it.

As most teenagers can have, I got 'panic attacks', especially before giving my first ever 4th talk. Well this particular Thursday, I had my first 4th talk, and had a panic attack. Now, they can affect you in different ways... and during that tender age, my nerves happened to give me a stiffy that kinda resembled the Eiffel Tower ( when in perspective, yer thumb could actually be bigger than the Eiffel Tower! *big sigh!* )

Anyway (you know where this is leading, don't ya) I decided to nip to the water closet to relieve my aching swelling (which now was starting to resemble the Empire State Building), and soothe my fraught nerves into the bargain....

AAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!

I haven't had sex that good since a pick pocket accidentally gave me a w*nk in Asda!!!!!!

Needless to say, after the event I had the guilt feelings of someone who thought he was the only pervert who practiced this heinous crime, and eventually confessed to an elder.. LT's Uncle as it happens....

This was pretty much the dialogue form the counsel ....

"Erm, *cough* ahem, err, masturbation is baaad, mmkay.. erm... you shouldn't *cough* erm, **blush** erm, mast... erm, masterb, erm, you know, do THAT in the Kingdom Hall. Lets say a prayer....."

Whew!! I'm glad that's over.... I can now die with a clean conscience!!!!

nb, If you were behind me, desperate for the loo that night, I'd like to apologise for the wait.....!

29

Poll: Anyone thought they sinned against Holy Spirit? Any anxiety or anger?

by SAHS in

jw
friends

certainly not that i would ever imply that anyone would have sinned against the holy spirit, but i was just wondering how may people either think they may have done this, or in the past thought they may have, or if they felt they were ever a victim of that wt scare tactic.

if so, did you at some point in your life feel anxiety over it?

did you ever feel anger about being misled into thinking you had when you realize now that you really couldn?t have (at least by that time)?

bull01lay

I couldn't possibly.......... I'm too shy! LOL

44

Hi all - another newbie!!!

by bull01lay in

jw
friends

i've been reading the messages here for some time now, so decided it's about time i joined and said hi!.

especially hi to "littletoe" - hope you're doing well.

luv ya bro!!.

bull01lay

Hi gidgetgirl, thanks for youropinion, and caring words.

I kinda feel that you missed the point a little there though - not once have I blamed someone else in my story for my mistakes, and I take full responsibility for them. I couldn't have posted such an 'exposing ' story if I hadn't accepted reponsibility.

My biggest issue here, is that during an emotionally, spiritually, and psychologically distressing time, instead of hearing my words and listening to my views, and offering much needed support, I was given a firing squad!!! As one other member commented - "it appears they already had their mind made up" and they had.

Just to add to the story too, I did challenge the decision, and had an appeal committee to sit through too. I poured my heart out to them, explaining why I could not go back to such a destructive, manipulative relationship, only for them to say at the end of it "we understand your feelings, and can see why you cannot return to your wife. However, we are not here to overturn the decision of the elders, just to hear your side of events! What a complete Fing waste of time!!! I might as well have saved myself the indignity and embarrassment of talking to complete strangers about intimate sides of my life, and just walked away.

A while after my DF'ing, another 'pebble' commented to my Mum how my wife had told him that 'she was going to do everything in her power to make sure I was DF'd'. Who knows what other things she told them - true or untrue

Satan is after all of us right??? Well, he used a very powerful tool to get me (if indeed that is what means by not being a member of the JW Organisation) and if he wants me that bad - Good on him. At least someone does!!!!

29

Poll: Anyone thought they sinned against Holy Spirit? Any anxiety or anger?

by SAHS in

jw
friends

certainly not that i would ever imply that anyone would have sinned against the holy spirit, but i was just wondering how may people either think they may have done this, or in the past thought they may have, or if they felt they were ever a victim of that wt scare tactic.

if so, did you at some point in your life feel anxiety over it?

did you ever feel anger about being misled into thinking you had when you realize now that you really couldn?t have (at least by that time)?

bull01lay

Ya really wanna know .......... ?

29

Poll: Anyone thought they sinned against Holy Spirit? Any anxiety or anger?

by SAHS in

jw
friends

certainly not that i would ever imply that anyone would have sinned against the holy spirit, but i was just wondering how may people either think they may have done this, or in the past thought they may have, or if they felt they were ever a victim of that wt scare tactic.

if so, did you at some point in your life feel anxiety over it?

did you ever feel anger about being misled into thinking you had when you realize now that you really couldn?t have (at least by that time)?

bull01lay

minimus:

Surely you don't want to know THAT deep into my sordid jaywit days....!!

Quid pro quo... litlle nightingale...

29

Poll: Anyone thought they sinned against Holy Spirit? Any anxiety or anger?

by SAHS in

jw
friends

certainly not that i would ever imply that anyone would have sinned against the holy spirit, but i was just wondering how may people either think they may have done this, or in the past thought they may have, or if they felt they were ever a victim of that wt scare tactic.

if so, did you at some point in your life feel anxiety over it?

did you ever feel anger about being misled into thinking you had when you realize now that you really couldn?t have (at least by that time)?

bull01lay

mimus:

37

Time to get on with it

by onacruse in

jw
friends

if you do the "work", there comes a "time.".

there is so much i could say, and feel yet the need to say "what can i say"?.

it's so hard, and yet so simple, to "get on" with our exjw life.. damn that religion me all the more if i let them continue to influence my life.. it's over.. from now on, as far as my participation on jwd, it will be only and simply to cut the guts out of that pathetic sociopathological antisocial mind-controlling cult.. i hate what that religion has done to me, to my marriages, to my family, to my life.. i hate the wts, and i hate those that defend them.

bull01lay

Hi ONA;

It's pretty clear to see that you're hurting still - most of us are, and always will. While venting anger can be healthy, IMHO harbouring hatred of anyone, even the WTS, is unhealthy. I agree with Dan-O and searcher - whilst ever this hatred of them consumes you, you will never entirely be free of their control.

Remember, there are some genuine people in the borg that feel they are doing the right thing (albiet V misguidedly)- should they be hated... or pitied??

We are the lucky ones my friend............... move on and enjoy everything this satanic world has to offer!

29

"DF'ing does not prevent us from being decent,courteous,considerate,humane"

by Englishman in

*** w74 8/1 pp.

466-473 maintaining a balanced viewpoint toward disfellowshiped ones *** .

13:1, 7.. 18 family members can carry out these scriptural obligations and yet not show themselves out of harmony with a congregational action disfellowshiping one of the family circle.

bull01lay

Excellent writing there Eman, and if it was applied as you wrote, then DF'ing really could be a 'safety net' for congregations were there was indeed a 'lump of leaven'.

However, do you know of any witnesses with this balanced view ? In simplistic terms, I was taught - "Disfellowshipped person - Evil. Do not even acknowledge their existence. Only the Elders are strong enough to talk with them." And as regards families that have DF'd members - in my own experience, many in the congregation expected my parents to throw me out because I had been DF'd. Most stopped coming to visit, and the group that had been meeting at their home was moved somewhere more 'spiritually suitable' than their home. Field Service meetings were no longer conducted there either. Who exactly were they trying to punish ? DF'ing was supposed to be used to 'keep the organisation clean', but in my own experience, I was victimised by a maliscious ex partner and control freak elders!!

The way I see it, is Disfellowshipping is just another threat used to deter people from leaving the organisation; it comes down again to a control game that is played out not just in simple religions, but in entire countries. "Control the church; Control the population". Fear of what can be done to you when you're alive is one thing, but fear of the unknown after you're dead - that is the greatest control trick EVER!"