Hello Scarlett
Anna Martin is absolutely correct - the only authority the elders have over you is what YOU give them. Give them NOTHING. Play your cards right and you can manage this situation on your terms.
Let me tell you about my experience.
When I woke up I simply stopped attending meetings. This prompted a visit from a concerned elder. Fair enough, I appreciated the interest and I really liked the guy. However, I simply explained I was taking a sabbatical from attending meetings for personal, private reasons.My elder friend inquired as to what those reasons were but here's the point - it's absolutely none of anyone's business but yours! I thanked him for his interest but restated the reasons were personal and private.
Some time later I was approached again by other elders and asked if I still considered myself a Jehovah's Witness - a loaded question! I simply replied my sabbatical was still ongoing and it was not a question I wished to discuss. Hence I left on my terms i.e. fading, not theirs i.e. disfellowshipping or deeming you disassociated.
I know that as a young woman brought up in a patriarchal society you may feel pressured to answer intrusive elders' questions but simply play a straight bat and politely refuse to engage in any discussion. By denying what was discussed with your mother you are lying, by refusing to discuss you are untouchable.
The ultimatum from your mother was to speak to the elders or she would. You could agree to that on the basis that if you did she wouldn't. Then simply advise the elders you're taking a sabbatical as above (you've probably noticed I've been missing meetings but don't worry I'm simply taking a sabbatical to think through my beliefs) which will enable you to inform your mother that you've met with them and resolved the situation. Of course your mother may break your agreement and go behind your back. If she does remind her she's broken your agreement and you're very disappointed in her lack of integrity but in any event you needn't respond to any elder demands as you've already removed yourself from the elders' supposed authority.
Finally your computer and phone are your private property, make sure they are both password protected.
Good luck
Snapdragon