Well, I will give my .02, for whatever it's worth.
I think everybody just needs to step back and take a deep breath. We all have come out of the same hell. I have lurked and posted for about 5 yrs. and have never been a very active poster, but I’ve been here long enough to see that these are not new issues. Well actually, there are no new issues. None. Nada.
Believe me, just about every question/topic/board issue that comes up now has been covered ad nauseum in the past…every one. But you know what? that’s ok cause there are new posters everyday that somehow think that their situation is somehow NEW and UNIQUE. How many times has a distraught new poster come to the board with the plea “Oh please help, I think I’m in love with a JW?” No problem… that’s what the board is for.
I mention the above to say this: Same thing with this latest huff n puff. This kind of stuff has happened over and over and over again on this board. Somebody gets their feelings hurt, lashes out against the mods or the mods overreact—take your pick…that’s not my point or my call. My point is this stuff ain’t new. It has happenned in the past and will happen again. In the meantime, stop trying to pick apart EVERY word and read into EVERY nuance you might imagine is there.
The problem is that boards like this, while providing a great service, give us a sense of anonymity. We can post and feel empowered enough to let it all out, damn what others think or how it comes across. What I find as very IRONIC, is that some feel they have to create and maintain some kind of board persona for this anonymous persona. Contributing to this confusion are the cliques or cliquish topics i.e who are the best-est and most favorite posters. I see publisher/pioneer/elder class-like similarities. I don’t think its intentional, just human nature. Yes, of course I have posters I look for, those I like and gravitate to. But I think the confusion and cliques these post create is something to think about when they come up. Sometimes I’m not even sure the objects of adulation in these post aren’t sometimes just a little embarrassed by it all. When people used to congratulate me on some talk I gave, yeah sure I liked it, but ultimately it just created some persona that wasn’t really me, and that somehow needed to be protected and lived up to. Very tiring and unfulfilling.
Another problem with discussion boards is that they rarely give a true indication of a posters character and personality. I have spoken to a few from the board off-line, and they are nothing less than charming and intelligent. Their sense of humor is not at first apparent and very often misunderstood as it comes across here on the board. That’s probably why I don’t do much fluff. I’m not good at it, and would come across totally misguided and as a complete jackass. (I laugh at the dark, quirky and sometimes twisted things). So, if you want to get something straight with a poster, I would suggest you pm them, get contact details and then call them on the phone. I can almost guarantee you will adjust your opinion of them or better understand there post. You will quickly realize you are speaking with a fellow victim/survivor, who can pretty much understand where you are coming from more than most never-been-jws ever could.
I now feel bad for those people who did contact you. I would like to make a suggestion to you, for those who you feel are worthy of your words of wisdom, send them a PM and give them your personal e-mail and/or number. That way those who you deem as "socially retarded" will not bother you and you will not have to waste your precious time and voice on people you clearly look down upon. You yourself opened the door when you gave people your personal info (i.e., personal e-mail account and from the sounds of it your phone number as well) and then to call them names is rather harsh. All I can say in my very simple words ... shame on you.
The above was in response to LDH post:
I have an awfully long fuse because I understand it's basically socially retarded people I'm talking with (when you consider the unseen population of lurkers and the disabled XJW).
This is how it gets started. I can tell you that I believe you misunderstood her comment. It was not meant as an affront or an insult to anyone here. There are few things in life that I can be sure about. BUT, I can guarantee that 1) if you were a jw at one-time and 2) especially if you were raised from childhood as one and 3) doubly-especially if you grew up in a staunch jw home, then you ARE/HAVE BEEN at one point socially retarded. This includes LDH aka Lisa, 99% of the posters here and most definitely myself. She has a sense of humor and forthrightness that probably not all get…and let me stop there because I’m sure she doesn’t need or want me explaining her : ). I would suggest you contact her.
The mods are not perfect, Simon is not perfect. But this is his board...respect it. I am willing to concede that it is a thankless job I would never have. These calls to delete or not delete are always subjective and subject to scrutiny and general criticism. But again respect the board.
Stop creating eggshells and stop causing your fellow victims/survivors feel as though they have to walk on them. We are a lot more alike than you realize.
Axel (of the "if you have any questions about my post--don't assume, please ask--I don't bite" class)
