hello 'fairchild'. You seem such a thoughtful and thorough person, and I must add my experience, as you have had many other's in this discussion. (it is only 5.30pm here in Australia....hope you're sleeping soundly by now!!)
Unlike 'out of the org' who seems to have a nice attitude (maybe except to the brotherhood??), I am now 65, have loved 'the truth' and the brothhood for many years, 50odd actually), have been an elder for half of them, (which just means shared a few more of life's experiences), have been disfellowshipped for a while, and I fully accept the causes and the results, unlike a lot of what you will get here.
The only suggestion I can offer, for the truth's sake, is for you to re-read what the Revelation book chapters 1-3 says, explaining how Jesus Christ looks at his congregations and is applicable today. Notice the words 'I have a few things against you....." and similar judgments against his own approved congregations. Is not that the same today? But for all the 'warts and wrinkles' we do not on our own as an individual have the brotherhood of which you have experienced so well and been blessed by it so much. No more than the early Christians who were told to 'flee to the mountains' and who did so as a brotherhood, despite imperfections, and were blessed with survival.
Please remember to read Hosea chapter 11, Jonah chapter 4, and any page of the Christian scriptures telling us what love really means and allow for the fact that God so loved the world - you, me, every human, no matter what we are, what we have or will be, that he gave his only begotten Son Jesus Christ for us. May my small voice encourage you to stick to the truth of Jehovah's and Christ's 'congregation'.
My special thoughts, Geoff. gdt.