I have a dilemma (did I spell dilemma correctly?): I am the only person I know, of any of my former Witness associates, who left because I started doubting/stopped believing the teachings. I did research on the Internet, read books, talked to people from different religions, etc. On top of that, I'd always had unresolved doubts about certain JW teachings (144,000, 1914, paradise, and why God permits suffering), so I had more than enough reason to not be an active Witness anymore. However, a few other Witness girls that I know who are inactive or disfellowshipped, are out for "morality" reasons. The problem is not that I look down on them; it's the other way around. Although they see us as being in the same "inactive" boat, and they want to "hang out" with me, they still talk and act with that guilt complex- of someone who still believes. I don't feel I have the freedom to express how I feel, or why I left, because they still regard it as "apostacy". It's really frustrating! My question is do any of you know people like this? I sincerely don't want to "influence" them if they're happy with their beliefs, yet at the same time, I wish they could open their eyes and see that the Organization is just another religion, not the only way to happy. And how can I truly be a friend with someone who might just turn around and go right back, then cut me off??? Thanks in advance for any posts. littletree (real name, Donna)
littletree
JoinedPosts by littletree
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the reasons why we leave makes a difference...
by littletree ini have a dilemma (did i spell dilemma correctly?
): i am the only person i know, of any of my former witness associates, who left because i started doubting/stopped believing the teachings.
i did research on the internet, read books, talked to people from different religions, etc.
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How many people here are Faders?
by misspeaches inhow many people that come to this board are faders only?
i am interested to know the statistics on how many people have left the borg because they have discovered their untruths or become disillusioned.. thanks,.
miss peache
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littletree
I only "faded" for a year. First it was just because I was tired of not keeping up with all the studying and field service, then I just said "to heck with it". I read COC, and then started browsing the Internet. Once I felt strong enough, I just stopped going. I haven't been back to my Hall since September 1, 2003 (it was the last day of our District Convention; and I almost vomited when they started talking about the evils on the Internet), but I still live in fear of getting disfellowshipped (because I don't want to lose my family).
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What's your favourite song at the moment?
by Es insorry if this comes up twice wasnt sure if it worked the first time.
my fav song at the moment is comfortably numb by the scissor sisters es
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littletree
Thanks to Gwen Stefani, although I don't have a favorite song, I can't get that dang "this sh.. is bananas, B-A-N-A-N-A-S" out of my head! If I had a favorite song, it would probably be something that came out in the 70s, eventhough I was just a baby! (I love disco. BeeGees rock.)
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Frustration
by Chia init just blows my mind.
i am an adult, and i can't go out without getting the third degree.
i can't have a phone/internet conversation without being interrogated and/or watched.
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littletree
Chia, I have a similar frustration. It's not with my family though, but my neighbors. Would you believe that the house directly across the street from mine is that of a JW couple?!?! And there are two other JW families on the block! They basically know all my comings and goings, and I feel anxiety everytime I leave my home. Since I'm not yet disfellowshipped (so far, i'm only a RUMORED apostate and fornicator), they do say hello, but I'm sure they've seen my boyfriend's car, or my wordly family members coming over to eat a meal on a holiday. I'll be 28 years old, and although I'd like to say that I'm an adult who makes my own decisions, having been a Witness has subjected me to this OTHER reality where I don't yet feel free to do as I please. I'm just gonna hang in there, and hope that things get easier for me, that I'll get stronger. The comfort is that I am happier now than I've ever been in all my 26 (12 baptized) years as a JW.
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Describe Yourself Without Being Revealing.
by Golf inas i told kl, i'm not sabotaging her thread, mine has a twist, for example, my wife 'descibes' me best by always reminding that i'm not 'normal.
' this means i do things differently than the ordinary person as i'm into many activities.
many of these activities involve people.
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littletree
I LOVE music, colorful flowers, puppies, and seeing kids smile. I'm terribly worrisome, yet hopeful all at the same time. I'm a giver, and I feel things way too deeply. I'm a lot happier than I used to be, because I've learned how to slow down and take deep breaths... uh, except when I'm cut off in traffic.
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littletree
sometimes i think that i miss my witness friends. 1 or 2 of them who are hanging on by a thread still keep in contact with me. but what happened to me last week reminds me why i'm better off without contact from "friends" who are still JW: a guy who's like a brother to me e-mailed me, telling me how much he missed me and thought about what a good friend i'd been to him. when i replied that i was happy and still trying to find "spirituality", he went right back and told others that what i said sounded "apostate". he's the one that sought ME out! he probably printed out what i said and gave it to my elders- who haven't questioned my whereabouts over the last year and a half. some "friend".
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littletree
(This will be really easy, because I just got off the phone with my mother:) condescending, incapable of REAL reasoning, horribly narrow-minded, happily blind, and having no concept of LOVE that's unconditional and all-inclusive. afraid of change and things that are different. also, generally well-meaning but brainwashed past the point of return.
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Is religion and faith not possible for some?
by littletree ini ask this question because i'm starting to have the scarey feeling that i was born "faithless".
other than feeling that babies and flowers are beautiful and miraculous, i have been having the darndest time feeling 100% sure that god exists and cares.
things that religious folks say are "blessings" i just see as the product of human effort and choice, or as stuff that probably would have happened anyway.
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littletree
I really appreciate all of the input, knowing that I'm not the only one who can't help not giving a damn (and as doogie said, yet feeling like I ought to). Doogie, I think I'm gonna look at those books you mentioned . And Elsewhere, I can certainly relate to that "peace" you have without religion! If only the holy-rollers in my family would understand. oh well.
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Is religion and faith not possible for some?
by littletree ini ask this question because i'm starting to have the scarey feeling that i was born "faithless".
other than feeling that babies and flowers are beautiful and miraculous, i have been having the darndest time feeling 100% sure that god exists and cares.
things that religious folks say are "blessings" i just see as the product of human effort and choice, or as stuff that probably would have happened anyway.
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littletree
I ask this question because I'm starting to have the scarey feeling that I was born "faithless". Other than feeling that babies and flowers are beautiful and miraculous, I have been having the darndest time feeling 100% sure that God exists and cares. Things that religious folks say are "blessings" I just see as the product of human effort and choice, or as stuff that probably would have happened anyway. I'm not purposely trying to feel this way- I just do! Honestly (I guess it's partly the trauma of having been a JW), I don't even really care right now about joining any religion, to learn the "right" way to serve an invisible being. Both the Witness and non-Witness sides of my family are Christian, and swear that God's hand is in just about everything; but I just feel queasy when they start talking about God. I don't want to debate about evolution or creation, but moreso discuss personal, gut feelings. So my question to everyone is whether you're like me, and just don't have a solid faith, and aren't sure at all whether God exists or not? (i.e. you're not a diehard athiest, or a diehard churchgoer, either). I just wonder if my life- and the life of any children I have in the future- will be less meaningful if I don't believe in SOMETHING? I thank you in advance for your responses.
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Are You SURE JWs Don't Have The Truth???
by minimus inhas anyone here ever questioned whether or not they made the right decision to leave the "truth"?......i'm sure glad i'm out!
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littletree
Thanks Minimus, and nice to meet/greet you! It was so ironic that it was also the anniversary of my baptism (09.01.1991). The difference is that my choice to be baptized, at 14, was made because the Organization was all that I had known, and because I wanted to please my mother. The choice I made one year ago was ALL mine! I'm still working out how I feel about religion, and God, but at least I have the freedom to do that. I feel so much more at peace with myself. I bet most people here do.