No matter how you attempt to justify it, multiple sex partners outside of a marriage is not a heathly practice for the individual or society. And without a moral compass there is no way to determine what type of behavior is "responsible". The moral compass provided by Christianity establishes values that promote the sanctity of marriage, that values committment, that encourages family security, and protects children. These values will never be enhanced by a society that promotes promiscuity. Nor with they be replaced by science.
RMC, my question is this: What is morally wrong with a couple agreeing to have sex outside of their marraige simultaneously? (a.k.a. swinging) If they practice safe sex with another partner or partners in an effort to add more fire to their own sex life, is this wrong? A major factor to infidelity is one's desire to have a new sexual "conquest" sort to speak, and bringing another into the relationship for some helps thwart the desire to have sex with another outside the marital arrangement. I definitely agree that being committed to one in the sense of a life-time partner is indeed a very good, healthy arrangement, but I'm just not sure that sex *has* to be limited to that one person in order to maintain this healthy relationship. I've never met anyone that has had more than one sex partner say they wish they'd only had one partner - point being sex with multiple partners can be quite enjoyable if done in a healthy, responsible manner. Although I respect the reasoning behind only having sex w/ a mate, I also see disadvantages in waiting to have sex until marraige:
- Incompatibility. Anyone who has had an incompatible experience(s) with a person can relate to this. I can only imagine how rough it would be on a marraige upon finding out how incompatible you are w/ your partner after tying the knot. On one hand, most don't realize how incompatible they are until they experience a fresh relationship w/ someone else, at which point they realize what they've been missing. At any rate, being married to someone that doesn't fulfill your sexual needs cannot be healthy - no doubt it can lead to infidelity, which opens up a whole new can of worms.
- It stunts sexual maturity. Sex with the same person over and over and over again will, after awhile, loose it's passion, and then interest will die down and eventually fade away. Unless, of course, the couple is truly compatible and seeks ways to keep the flame alive, but this is probably a rare occasion, especially among Witnesses who think oral and anal sex should not be done. Sexual release is physically, mentally and psychologically healthy, and learning how to behave in a responsible way sexually is also a step to ones maturity. Just as a kid becomes an adult by taking on new responsibilities effectively, so too we progress into sexual maturity by having more sex - with more than one partner. (this point is probaly highly debatable, but it's how I feel nonetheless. :-) ) Also, it just seems plain instinctual almost - how many people have you been sexually attracted to in your life? Imagine if every instance of mutual attraction ended up in sex! My numbers would definitely be a LOT higher, that's for sure. It's only natural to be sexually attracted to those we find...sexy, yet there have been laws drilled into our minds that make this prospect seem absurd - animalistic almost. Just something to think about - I'm not suggesting this is the way it should be, it's just an interesting way to view the situation.
I just feel that sex can be had outside the marital arrangement in a responsible way without detrimental effects on an individual or society. I think it's bad karma to cheat on a mate - if you've committed yourself to an individual you've made a promise and that should not be broken. However if there is a mutual understanding as to sexual practices outside the relationship, whether it be together or seperately, and these practices are performed responsibly and carefully without having a guilty conscience, then the couple should have the freedom to do so.
Just my two cents worth - I've enjoyed this thread immensely....
cheers,
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