Posts by mamochan13

58

Stop fighting about Oompa.

by Robert7 in

jw
friends

i am writing this because i am so upset about the bickering and fighting that is going on about oompa.

this was an amazing wonderful, peaceful, giving man who never met a strager who is now deceased and you are taking his name and running all over the place with it using it for your own agendas.

he is not a statistic.

mamochan13

Stacey (and Wes). Thank you for your honesty. The fighting has been so disturbing to watch, and as difficult as it must have been - your comments were sorely needed here.

You've been through an exhausting experience and I hope you will be able to take some time for yourself after this to focus on your own healing. Dealing with extremes of mental illness and trying to keep someone alive when they are self-destructive takes an incredible toll. Your feelings are completely normal - those of relief and even the sense of having failed - even though you did not fail. You gave so much to your friend, and as you say, you are not a professional therapist. I believe one of the reasons suicide rates are high among mental health professionals is because it is so incredibly exhausting and difficult. So please take care of yourself now.

Oompa may well have believed he was doing something good for you by relieving you of the "burden" of being his friend. Many who choose suicide are completely convinced that they are doing family and friends a favour by dying. On some level they understand the difficult demands they are placing on their loved ones, and they consider suicide an act of love. In their profound pain they simply do not see that they will cause more hurt. Death stops their pain, therefore it will be a good thing for everyone else, too.

I hope you can feel the power of the support and love so many here are sending to you right now as you prepare Eric's memorial. My thoughts will be with you and his family during these difficult days.

22

Lets Insult Christmas Public WT Now Up on jw.org

by LostGeneration in

might need a vomit bag as your read through this one..... http://www.jw.org/en/publications/magazines/.

one gem on page six where we have "helping the needy" as the headline - i wonder which "organization" they might be referring to?.

could you set aside, or budget, some money.

mamochan13

It's funny how they assume (ASS U Me) that Christmas is such a bad thing and of course the "rank and file" are quick to buy in. In fact, the majority of people celebrate it as a family and thoroughly enjoy every aspect, even if there is some stress attached. I certainly do.

35

There Are Many New Ones Here. Has JWN Helped You?

by minimus in

jw
friends

i think simon green's site has helped more people than he ever would have imagined!

do you agree??

?.

mamochan13

yes, it has helped immensely. I don't hang around here for long periods at a time. I come when I need support or reinforcement, then leave.

I used to think that Simon and Angharad (and the other mods) were sometimes being a bit to quick to shut people down when they got out of hand. But I have to say, I now appreciate their vigilance in trying to keep this a healthy place where new ones confused about leaving the cult can come and feel safe and heard. JWN has stayed on focus for a lot of years. It helped me really examine what I had been taught so that I could finally sort out the mess in my head.

630

SAD news about OOMPA......

by redredrose in

jw
friends

our friend, oompa, has passed away.

just recieved the news a couple of hours ago, and have almost no details.

it happened today or yesterday, he took his own life.

mamochan13

I know from having had those feelings that it isn't death you really want, it's relief from the horrible emotional pain and fear

Exactly. Thank you for the song, FlyingHigh - and well said.

39

CO Visit this week....

by MaybeSo in

so, we are meeting our new co this week... i wonder if he'll be as glory hungry as the last one and the one before him and the one... well you can get the idea.

too bad we didn't volunteer to feed him .

that makes me wonder...why do they receive so much glory and attention as if they were some type of celebrity?

mamochan13

We had one really great CO. Loving, kind, gave excellent talks. Everyone loved him and his wife. He used to visit this sister for a haircut. Soon he was getting more than haircuts. He was DFd for several years. He and his wife divorced and he married the hairdresser. I believe he eventually was reinstated. Never got to be a CO again, though.

11

Leaving the Watchtower and your mental health

by Christ Alone in

i've seen that many in the organization have an unhealthy view of medical professionals, especially as it relates to psychiatry/psychology.

i thought this was an appropriate topic considering what happened with oompa.

how do you feel about your mental health now that you left?

mamochan13

After getting DFd I spiralled into profound depression and was suicidal. I started to see a psychiatrist. He was wonderful. However, my JW family tried to undermine his help, telling me I was bringing reproach on Jehovah by telling the psychiatrist about shunning and what the religion did. Unfortunately, when you are still in and try to seek professional help, you are all too often put in the position where you feel you have to defend the WT because the professionals are often so appalled by what has been done to you.

My JW family also called the psychiatrist demanding information about our sessions and my brother, in particular, became quite verbally abusive when the psychiatrist refused to release my confidential treatment information. The psychiatrist told me what had happened because he could not believe my family would feel justified in even asking for private health data.

My family did, however, finally succeed in undermining my confidence in the treatment and I stopped seeing that psychiatrist. I still struggled for many years, fighting depression with meds, other doctors, etc. All along I was dealing with the JW anti-psychology pressure, being fed the "just pull yourself up by the bootstraps" and "pray" and "do more in the service" nonsense. There was a JW doctor who I saw, and I found him extremely helpful - that is, until I discovered he had called my sister and discussed everything about me at length with her.

Ultimately, my mental health improved when I did take charge and, in effect, pulled myself out of it. I stopped any meds and came to the realization that the only one who could change the state of my depression and my mental health was me. By that time I was pretty much completely out of the religion, so I was able to move forward and create a new life for myself. Going to university was the big turning point - pretty much 10 years of solid therapy for me. I became actively involved in volunteering and helping others, too.

A few weeks before my mom died she apologized for how she and the family had treated me when I was depressed. She said she simply did not understand the disease at the time, and that the media had finally raised her awareness.Surprisingly she didn't refer to "such a good article" in the magazines for that insight.

I've been completely mentally healthy for some 20 years now. But I also recognize the triggers and the signs and I'm very careful to keep myself healthy. Getting run down and stressed and neglecting my self-care could make me vulnerable, and I never ever want to go anywhere near that empty black pit again.

72

Why No Disfellowshipping Before 1952?

by blondie in

jw
friends

why was there no official arrangement before 1952 to disfellowship people?

was there a different procedure with a different name?

was no one committing disfellowshipping offenses?

mamochan13

Clarity, I'm pretty sure that back in the 60s and 70s the policy was a minimum of a year. But that changed, later, and it became "many months, even a year or more" or something like that. In fact, I challenged the elders on my committee because they kept saying that the "organization" book said it had to be a year, when it said nothing of the sort. During the 80s and 90s I remember many young people (i.e. 14, 15, 16) being DFd and reinstated within a few months.

Interesting that they announced actual reasons. I don't recall that ever happening in my cong. it was always "conduct unbecoming a Christian". But they have certainly altered the practice over the years. CA - I agree that the motivation is highly punitive, based in hatred and revenge. I think some elders feel like they are figuratively stoning the individual to death as punishment, getting great satisfaction from it. Scenic - I'm reading that excerpt the same way you are. It does souind like they are in favour of exterminating apostates.

I wonder if they argue away "excommunicate" as different from "disfellowshipping".

72

Why No Disfellowshipping Before 1952?

by blondie in

jw
friends

why was there no official arrangement before 1952 to disfellowship people?

was there a different procedure with a different name?

was no one committing disfellowshipping offenses?

mamochan13

Very interesting thread.

BOC - I've been thinking about your question. It seems to me that there were a lot of DFings during the late 60s, particularly among young people.

In my area we also had a major purge when large groups of people began to declare themselves as part of the anointed. I don't recall the year, but it was likely around the 1975/apostasy.

But aside from that, I don't feel like there has been any real change in numbers.

68

Cedars...I took you up on the song challenge....

by diana netherton in

jw
friends

billions and billions of corpses,.

each one deserved to die.. billions there are on billions, .

billions and billions of dead ones,.

mamochan13

Cedars, a break can do a lot of good - you do so much to help out here, thank you.

People can be hateful at times, I agree, Diana. Grief can bring out the worst in people, unfortunately, including unreasonable anger. This thread isn't the right place for the discussion, but I wonder whether the nature of this particular community makes it more susceptible to that type of thing. There is a lot of deep-seated anger here.

That's why we need to do more singing!

39

Moment of silence for Oompa

by andys in

jw
friends

i can be very emotional about certain things and when i heard about oompa, even though i don't know him i was sometimes in tears about it, i will miss his posts, what i want to do for oompa is to have a moment of silence for him, i know i don't post on here much am more of a lurker but also i want everyone else to have a moment of silence also for our friend and also for all the others who have committed suicide because of the watchtowers policys..

mamochan13

Thank you, Cedars, for speaking out about NN's inappropriate posts.

Anger is part of the grieving process, but it does not give one individual the right to diminish the grief others are feeling. We are a community here, and although we all may be mourning in different ways, we share sadness at the loss of a member of our community. It doesn't matter if you knew him personally, if you liked him or if he liked you. His death has impacted every one of us.

Argue, disagree, and debate if you must, but don't do it in the middle of a thread meant to show our respect for Eric and our sadness that he is gone.