Posts by BrendaCloutier

37

Alternative Fuel Source...TOO COOL...Or is that HOT!

by Yerusalyim in

here it is folks, one solution to our gas crunch.

i support this kind of thing.

look up veggie car on the web, this is for real.. http://www.rherald.com/news/2003/0320/people/p03.htmlmcgrath?s ?veggie car?.

BrendaCloutier

I love the concepts and USE of biodiesl... it smells like french fries, or fried fish when burned, depending on what restaurant the last batch came from.

Even if it isn't THE fuel of the future, it does make excellent use of a throw away item by using the energy from its incineration. And dual fuel vehicles allow you the get the best of both fuels with computerization.

Anything we can do to reduce(!), reuse, recycle, and buy recycled, helps us, our decendants, and our planet.

My next car will probably be a Prius or Civic hybrid. I'm waiting for a convertible to come out. We're moving to Hawaii in a few (5) years, and I'm hoping both our vehicles will be dual or hybrid vehicles. It's bad enough that most of our fuel comes from somewhere else, but in Hawaii, almost everything has to come from somewhere else!

Hug

Bren

22

Kwan Yin

by Vivamus in

jw
friends

so here i was thinking i was a know-all when it comes to religion i saw an image of a deity i had not seen before.

she was standing on a dragon and in white robes (see attached pict).

gorgeous, i thought, but who the hell is she?

BrendaCloutier

Thank you for that. Buddah was an enlightened soul, and teaching enlightenment was his purpose on earth

And to be awake, is to be aware...

But what is awareness, enlightment, knowledge, without action?

Hugs

Bren

22

Kwan Yin

by Vivamus in

jw
friends

so here i was thinking i was a know-all when it comes to religion i saw an image of a deity i had not seen before.

she was standing on a dragon and in white robes (see attached pict).

gorgeous, i thought, but who the hell is she?

BrendaCloutier

I've been drawn to Kwan Yin since I was a child. I bought a statue of her when I was a teenager, though I had no idea who she was. My mom allowed me to keep her, even though she told me that it was a goddess of fertility. (All goddess statues - idols - are goddesses of fertility as far as my JW upbringing was concerned.)

In being drawn to her, it's possible that a person needs to receive compassion, or needs to learn compassion and practice it.

I had one of her carved in jade, but that piece went to someone else who needed it more... I have a small ivory-like plastic statue that lives in my travel bath kit, along with a small buddah icon. Simply because.

I always associated her with a pale jade green or celadon light, and when I see this light, i know she's close.

Yes, there is tremendous pain and suffering in our world. And if every human on earth extended a compassionate hand, there would still be pain and suffering, disease and death. It is our lot. In Buddahism Life is pain and suffering, and it is each individual's responsibility to help ease the pain and suffering of others. However, true happiness, inspite of life's pain, is attainable. HH the Dahli Lama has written some excellent books. My favorite is "The Art of Happiness".

A great native american medicine man, Fools Crow, defined the difference between healing and curing: curing is when the disease (dis- ease) is gone. Healing is the mental and spiritual acceptance of the fate of the disease, i.e. if one is dying, healing means that person accepts, and is comfortable with the outcome. He is at peace with it.

What the Gods and Goddesses, human or animal based, teach us is how to be a successful human, how to respect and treat each individual, our Earth and the individual nature of its inhabitants. All Gods, Goddesses, and Spirits when combined, I believe, give us a tiny glimpse of the true nature of God (He, She, It, They).

Ok, I'll put my bubble bath soap box away now... ;)

Hugs

Brenda

60

Convention Drama creeps out JWs?

by ezekiel3 in

jw
friends

i am getting news from jws who have attended the district convention that the drama (which is pre-recorded and played to lip-syncing actors) has a demon-possessed woman with a ?demonic voice?.

can anyone confirm this?

it is said to be pretty creepy sound effect and many jws are uncomfortable when they hear it.

BrendaCloutier

In the late 60's early 70's (I was a teenager) there was a drama about holding steadfast to your faith and marterying yourself even when faced with prison, etc. It focused on the Holocost. They used real audio footage from Hitler and an elder woman in the audience shrieked, went nuts, and passed out. She had been interned in one of the camps.

I also remember the one about Paul and the demonized woman.

These were 30+ years ago. Gotta recycle for the current generation of Janitors and Housekeepers.

Bren

60

Convention Drama creeps out JWs?

by ezekiel3 in

jw
friends

i am getting news from jws who have attended the district convention that the drama (which is pre-recorded and played to lip-syncing actors) has a demon-possessed woman with a ?demonic voice?.

can anyone confirm this?

it is said to be pretty creepy sound effect and many jws are uncomfortable when they hear it.

BrendaCloutier

I have heard from women's groups that Paul hated women, based on his writings (don't get married unless you just have to; women's place, etc). I haven't seen/heard the drama, but I bet she just had a bad case of PMS and Paul couldn'd deal with it so he had to call on Jesus!

then again, if a little jesus helps PMS....

Brenda

PS - no insults to anyone out there intended

55

In the aftermath of our shattered faith, for those who also wonder.....

by Frannie Banannie in

it's been over 12 yrs since my df'ing.

yes, i forced 'em to do it for what i know now were pointless reasons....but mainly, at the time, i thought it was because the heirarchy of the wts doesn't measure up to scriptural standards....i wasn't wrong for they are very judgmental hate-mongers, manipulative and overbearing....but i've come to learn so much more..... .

after years of traumatic disillusionment, i've begun to wonder if there really is a god/goddess, etc....or is this a state of mind/belief system that mankind has created to explain the inexplicable, answer the unanswerable, to put a spiritual bandaid on the tortured in mind, body and/or spirit.....and yet, tho our bodies wear out eventually, we are wonderfully "made"....and so many things here on earth are sympatico with our human existence and temperament.....yet....at the same time, we have adverse reactions to many things, too, whether vegetable, animal, mineral or even spiritual.....is this all only a contrivance of our imaginings, the result of our teachings among ourselves?.

BrendaCloutier

Because I'm a Sexual Intellectual (a f*ing know it all) I want to "know", too. But I've given up on that, for now. I believe in our tiny human minds that the source questions of the universe are unanswerable, because the answers are unfathomable to us.

I believe in the Big Bang as the start of the universe and life as we know it. I belive "God" (He, She, It, They - far from any concept man can devise) started it. Just like baking a cake - we humans mix our ingredients in a certain way, pour them into a cake pan and subject them to a certain amount of heat for a prescribed time. Science happens and we have a cake. I think the Big Bang was the result of the baking time and temp- you bakers know - it expands and then sets. By divine plan, the universe took shape and divinely directed evolution took care of the genetic developments.

Is there a god that cares for us? As individuals? No, I don't think so, not directly anyway. I do believe there are beings that do care for us, individually and collectively, hence the occurances of guardian angel sightings, ghosts, and demons (I believe there is evil out there, too), etc., and these beings have a heierarchy and responsibility, but not necessarily free will. I do believe in Jesus Christ (I do not claim to be a Christian), but his responsibilites are far more than the Bible records. Again, I only think I have the barest comprehension of something that I have no capacity to fully understand.

I also believe in reincarnation. I do believe there is something after this earthwalk is done, but I am responsible right now for this life, cleaning up the past, making way for the future, and enjoying now as best I can.

Hey, I barely understand how gravity works and why the sky is blue! I do know why the Green Flash sometimes happens at sunset.

Hope my 2cents help. I'm sure that's about all it's worth in the larger scheme of things.

Bren

29

Reading Glasses and Headaches

by Big Tex in

i've had a terrible time the last 2 weeks with headaches.

they usually come on in the early afternoon and by the end of the day i can hardly see straight.

i don't wear glasses but i noticed that after working on the computer or documents and i get up to walk around my distance vision is poor, i.e.

BrendaCloutier

Middle age sucks.

Yeah, The bod just doesn't work the way it used to, or the way we want it to, any more.

However, I;m finding a new freedom in the ability to speak my mind like never before! Life is becoming too short not to.

I'm near sighted and have worn glasses since 9 or 10. Now I have to take my glasses off to see up close, to read the fine print, etc., at least I can still read the fine print! Reading with my glasses on, I'm holding the material farther and farther away.

It gets better, it gets worse, it gets real, it gets different, then it gets real different!

Bren

14

Happy Pills

by joannadandy in

there have been several posts here on depression, and i know many posters here have had to deal with depression.

heck we even have a section for depression related topics.

so i wanted to come here for a little advice, opinion on drugs for depression.

BrendaCloutier

Depression can be caused by a number of things. However, long-term or chronic depression is usually caused by a short in the brain's wiring. Not gonna fix itself. That's where anti-depressants come in.

If you had a busted leg, you'd seek medical attention, right? Well, short circuited brain wiring requires medical attention, and usually drugs to balance the problem. Think of the drugs as new spark plug wires that help the spark plugs do what they do best.

They're not "happy" pills. A person with normal brain chemistry doesn't feel a thing when taken. Also, they usually take 3-8 weeks for the affects to stablize. Side affects can include nausea, sleeplessness, and other fun stuff, but with proper medical attention they usually can be managed, doses changed, or changes in Rx and will stablize in a while.

You may also need therapy. The combination of drugs and therapy is powerful medicine! Since you are suicidal (constant thoughts of suicide even though you don't intend to do anything about it) you DO need to see a therapist, PhD, or MD who does the phych stuff. There are ways we can change our thinking patterns to avoid getting stuck in those loops. If you find you just can't get out of that loop and are afraid you might hurt yourself, check yourself in to a hospital!

I've been suicidal and have made 3 attemps. I'm grateful I'm still here. I cannot go off my meds or I'll short-circuit again. So I think I'll stick with 'em. I also have professionals and friends I can talk to if I get weird.

I hope you seek medical attention. You deserve it!

Hugs

Brenda

31

Adultery, Forgiveness & Divorce-----WATCHTOWER STYLE

by minimus in

jw
friends

i wonder how many have been affected by the watchtower's interpretation of these things.

i know of many many jws that "live together" only because they are married to each other.

these people almost hate each other, but would never leave their marriages and get an "unscriptural" divorce.....i know of wives that "forgave" their husbands "unknowingly".

BrendaCloutier

In 1975, when I was 18, I married a good JW man. My parents had pulled me out of HS after 10th grade to go into the ministry, become a pioneer, go to bethel, or find a husband. I had enough education at that time to do any of these.

I moved to a new town when I got married (Vancouver, WA, across the river from Portland, OR) and to a new congregation. After my wedding, I found out I married into the wrong JW family. His father was an alcoholic and physical abuser of wife and kids. My husband inherited the alcoholism, and was taught to be an abuser.

I went to the elders in the congregation about his abuses, and I was told that I was not being a proper wife subjecting myself to my husbands punishments as he saw fit.

We both left the JW's after about 3 years of marriage, and I stuck with him for a total of 7 years. You see, I didn't believe in divorce except for adultry.

On my 25th birthday (Nov 1981) I played russian roulette with a 44 magnum. You know - one round, spin the cylinder and pull the trigger?

click

I looked at the barrell and pointed at my head again and

click

I pointed it at the ceiling and

BANG!

I'm hard of hearing in my right ear, but I'm alive. I shot the desire to live, and get a divorce, back into me!

I lost weight, found a lover, and used that as an emotional means to escape. After all, I no longer considered myself a JW, but I needed the adultry to break his emotional hold on me. We divorced in 1982.

I'v been married, and divorced, twice since. Seems like my picker is a bit busted. Today I'm with the love of my life. He and I've been living in sin for 5 years, and have a more commited relationship, (instead of needing to be commited) than I've ever had, with trust, love, respect.

Part of why I got married to #1, and repeated the relationships with abusers is that I was never allowed to use the word "NO". My parents were not abusive, but my father was happily in control, and my mom unhappily supportive.

Today, I not only can pronouce the word "no", but I use it, and reinforce it if I have to. I also choose people to be around that respect boundries, and respect "no".

Long, difficult, painful lessons, but today I can truly say I'm free and happy.

Blessings on your journey's.

Brenda

14

JW, WatchTower Society, Alcoholism, and Recovery

by BrendaCloutier in

i left the borg in about 1979 of my own accord after having my eyes opened (and experiencing) the hypocrisies around me.. in 1982 i sucessfully left my jw husband, who devloped alcoholism, and became a wife-beater when he could no longer control me.

the elders in the congregation (i married into) told me i was to subject myself to my husband, and his justice.. beginning in 1987, i realized my own drinking problem was alcoholism, and i successfully got clean and sober in 1990.. attending that first meeting, on a summer sunday evening in 1987 was shear hell for me.

it was in the basement of a baptist church!

BrendaCloutier

Thanx Gumby and others who have welcomed me.

There are views shared here that I have come to, through my own work. And I'm glad to see it. There wasn't a support network when I got "real", but I was able to do much healing with my AA recovery work.

There is probably about the same number of alcoholics in JW's as in the average populace - about 10%. That, I've heard, is the average occurance of homosexuality, and I'm sure it's probably the same amoung JW's.

Gotta get dinner. Hugs

Bren