my name is nigel.i am 50,married with five kids,early teens to late 20,s.i live in the bush in australia.i have cruised this site for a couple of months & feel comfortable enough to talk now.those of you who were long term jw,s will understand that.only my direct family know what i am about to tell.i have never told anyone else as they would not understand.i was born a jw in the u.k. and some of my first memories are of going door to door.i was scalded when i was 4 & i remember some brothers coming to see me.my parents emigrated when i was 13 as my dad didn,t get on with the inlaws.my dad drank a bit at home at home & was violent.it was never spoken about outside of the family and at 15 i left home.i was the eldest of four.i continued to go to meetings,lived on my own & learnt a trade.at 20 i married a good jw girl as was expected & became a regular pioneer.i was a good public speaker & as far as the congregation was concerned had a bright future.i believed in what i was doing as it was what i had been taught.when i was 22 we had a baby & was witnessing one sunday morning & was involved in a head on car accident in a 60mph zone.my wife & son were minor injured but i was lucky to survive.i had many bone fractures & head injuries & i did not know who i was,what had happened,nor recognize my wife or child for 3 months.i was in hospital for 6 months.i was unable to do anything for a year.by this time i was in financial difficulty & due to this & my mental state grabbed what i could get in court,which was not much.during this time no one helped...no one.i continued to go to the meetings but my heart was gone & the downhill slide had started.over the next 7 to 8 years i worked a normal job but started to drink & by mid 80s was not attending meetings.my wife was a good jw & did not understand my feelings.although i had much respect for her & still do,by this stage we had 3 kids,& there was a chasm between us.i knew that i was affecting my wife but she would never divorce me.so i figured the best way was to give them all the reason not to want me around.i was called to the meeting & i told the elders how i felt & that even i did not know why.disfellowshiped.fair enough.we divorced late 80s.she married an elder.i married a so say worldly person.about 3 or 4 years later my new wife & i had 2 kids & were getting along fine.i had started talking to dad but i did not want to go back to meetings.my dad was disfellowshiped for smoking & could not give it up.he became ill & very depressed.he overdosed on anti depressants.my mum knew what he had done & left him on the floor for 24 hours before calling an ambo.she rang me when he was dead.i don,t talk to her any more.she remains a jw.no comment.my sisters are jw,s.
nobody talks anymore but.three weeks after dad died my brother had a lot of problems,financial,legal & grief.he was only 29.he shot himself.i buried two in three weeks.and so began a new chapter in my life...violence.and baby wasn,t i good at it.i king hit everyone within arms length for a year.didn,t lose a fight,the anger was immense.did the maximum weekend detention,lost my job,my second wife took the kids & went.
understandable.i held a gun in my mouth so hard i bled for two days.but i couldn,t do it.i love my present wife & kids & i believed that jehovah would understand & forgive me when i die.i did my best with what i was given.from that day i never looked back.i fixed it up with my wife & we get on great.my three oldest kids to my 1st wife are jw,s but i see a bit of them.my wife now hasn,t much time for religion.understandable.she is a nurse.i don,t work any more.i still look outside & appreciate what god has done for us but i don,t need other people to feel that.too much damage done.i don,t slag the witnesses nor the wts.their business what they do.i just don,t agree with the procedure of df,s and the climate of fear & guilt.i have seen much & will contribute where i can.you seem like a decent bunch.good luck to you all.nigel
No hoo hoo, Nigel. Actually, Nelson or Napolean, the humour was good. I got it! I was wondering why a brit would be so familiar with Napolean. Nelson makes much more sense. I often use my hearing loss selectively - with my spousal unit! Unfortunately, he's more deaf than I am, and can't be selective, so often the joke's on me.
Keep the humour comin'. "If you can laugh at it, you can live with it." -Erma Bombeck
Hugs
Brenda
.
although i like to keep the afterlife unknown..... what do you think the first thing out of a jw's mouth would be when they discover they went to heaven (or hell) instead of paradise erf?
"This must be a deception created by Satan."
ROFLMAO!
Pete Popadopolis, central congregation, Vancouver WA. When I knew him, he was in his 90's and lived to be 103 or 104. He was a faithful believer. I first met him when he had my parents, me, and my gramma over for dinner after my dad gave a talk in their hall. The cabbage soup he served was wonderful!
I lived next door to him for a while as a newlywed. I'd make sure to take him slices of pie, or cookies, as a neighborly gesture. He'd always give me fresh produce, or a jar of just made soup, or whatever. Every spring, crocuses bloomed throughout his entire lawn! He was a wonderful person, and I learned a great deal from him about being humble, kind, and generous. He also made sure that the congregation was kept in line. Too bad he wasn't listened to. That was a corrupt congregation, and finally responsible for my fading away. There were others but I don't remember them.
Brenda
http://crazymeds.org/
this has got to be the best site i have had occasion to look at.
not written by doctors, but by patients themselves.
Thanx for the site!
normalcy is a relative thing
It's also only a setting on a washing machine....
i am a big fan of chili.
i like it with no beans, just meat, lots of garlic, onion and cumin .
topped with cheese and fresh chopped onion.. who has a killer chili recipe?.
Ok, got the chili on - I used what I had on hand:
1lb black beans - washed
almost 2lbs pork chunks
Salt
Blk Pepper
Cumin
Onion Powder
Garlic Powder
Chili Powder
3 cans diced Tomatos
It's pressure cooking as I type.
I'll throw in more stuff later.
Hugs and heartburn
Brenda
kind of a milestone of sorts.
not that there is anything wrong with a jc penny's suit.
it's just that this was the "status quo" kind.
In Jesus' name,
Amen
Goodonya!
Brenda
here's a take-off on panda's thread "which dog breed do you like?":.
which dog breed are you like?...any thoughts?.
i'm just a mutt
Cat-person here. I'm like a manx - long legs, round, off-beat in personality, and outgoing. Love to be laid back and get my belly, chin, and ears rubbed and scratched. Brushing is good too. If you don't pay attention to me, I start knocking things off the table.
Meow
Bren
i am a big fan of chili.
i like it with no beans, just meat, lots of garlic, onion and cumin .
topped with cheese and fresh chopped onion.. who has a killer chili recipe?.
Valis "District Overbeer" - That sounds awesome. I know what I'm fixin for dinner tonight. Got pork bits that are old and need cooked. Add some quality burger. A pressure pot makes it nice and quick.
Hugs and hearburn
Bren
one of the criticisms i see on this board, especially if one points out a similarity between jws and jwd or other similar discussion boards, is that a person is still seeing things in the eye of a jehovah's witness.
what's your take on that?
?
I still enjoy having that satisfaction of having "answers" for everything
That's called a Sexual Intellectual = a f'king know it all!
My 3rd ex husband said I had this need to be right all the time. I told him it was because I usually am.
Hugs
Brenda
my name is nigel.i am 50,married with five kids,early teens to late 20,s.i live in the bush in australia.i have cruised this site for a couple of months & feel comfortable enough to talk now.those of you who were long term jw,s will understand that.only my direct family know what i am about to tell.i have never told anyone else as they would not understand.i was born a jw in the u.k. and some of my first memories are of going door to door.i was scalded when i was 4 & i remember some brothers coming to see me.my parents emigrated when i was 13 as my dad didn,t get on with the inlaws.my dad drank a bit at home at home & was violent.it was never spoken about outside of the family and at 15 i left home.i was the eldest of four.i continued to go to meetings,lived on my own & learnt a trade.at 20 i married a good jw girl as was expected & became a regular pioneer.i was a good public speaker & as far as the congregation was concerned had a bright future.i believed in what i was doing as it was what i had been taught.when i was 22 we had a baby & was witnessing one sunday morning & was involved in a head on car accident in a 60mph zone.my wife & son were minor injured but i was lucky to survive.i had many bone fractures & head injuries & i did not know who i was,what had happened,nor recognize my wife or child for 3 months.i was in hospital for 6 months.i was unable to do anything for a year.by this time i was in financial difficulty & due to this & my mental state grabbed what i could get in court,which was not much.during this time no one helped...no one.i continued to go to the meetings but my heart was gone & the downhill slide had started.over the next 7 to 8 years i worked a normal job but started to drink & by mid 80s was not attending meetings.my wife was a good jw & did not understand my feelings.although i had much respect for her & still do,by this stage we had 3 kids,& there was a chasm between us.i knew that i was affecting my wife but she would never divorce me.so i figured the best way was to give them all the reason not to want me around.i was called to the meeting & i told the elders how i felt & that even i did not know why.disfellowshiped.fair enough.we divorced late 80s.she married an elder.i married a so say worldly person.about 3 or 4 years later my new wife & i had 2 kids & were getting along fine.i had started talking to dad but i did not want to go back to meetings.my dad was disfellowshiped for smoking & could not give it up.he became ill & very depressed.he overdosed on anti depressants.my mum knew what he had done & left him on the floor for 24 hours before calling an ambo.she rang me when he was dead.i don,t talk to her any more.she remains a jw.no comment.my sisters are jw,s.
nobody talks anymore but.three weeks after dad died my brother had a lot of problems,financial,legal & grief.he was only 29.he shot himself.i buried two in three weeks.and so began a new chapter in my life...violence.and baby wasn,t i good at it.i king hit everyone within arms length for a year.didn,t lose a fight,the anger was immense.did the maximum weekend detention,lost my job,my second wife took the kids & went.
understandable.i held a gun in my mouth so hard i bled for two days.but i couldn,t do it.i love my present wife & kids & i believed that jehovah would understand & forgive me when i die.i did my best with what i was given.from that day i never looked back.i fixed it up with my wife & we get on great.my three oldest kids to my 1st wife are jw,s but i see a bit of them.my wife now hasn,t much time for religion.understandable.she is a nurse.i don,t work any more.i still look outside & appreciate what god has done for us but i don,t need other people to feel that.too much damage done.i don,t slag the witnesses nor the wts.their business what they do.i just don,t agree with the procedure of df,s and the climate of fear & guilt.i have seen much & will contribute where i can.you seem like a decent bunch.good luck to you all.nigel
Welcome, Nigel. I'm glad you're here.
I'm sorry for all of your losses. Tough stuff. Sounds like you're doin' ok for now.
I, too, held a gun to my head when I felt I couldn't divorce my first husband, a violent alcoholic. Afterall, we were raised that divorce just didn't happen unless.... Russian Roulette with a 44 mag. Click. Click. Look down barrell and point to ceiling, BANG! I have some hearing damage/loss in my right ear, but it shot the will to live back into me. (My own alcoholism was also raging, and I finally got sober with AA in 1990.)
Keep hanging around and sharing when you wish.
Hugs and love
Brenda
