i am doing a documentary for my capstone project next semester and i need your help.
i am going to make a documentary with community effort to show what its like to be a jw and exjw (the audience being non-jws who have no idea...the average person).
what i need from you, is for you to submit video of you or family/friends relating their experiences.
I have a videocamera, I will set it up and then tell my story to it. Let me know your time frame. Let me think on the whole 'dot' in front of my face thing...lol. It might be very liberating to just tell the story for all the world to see, plus I believe if ppl can put a face to the story, the story has much more impact.
Jez
apostasy?
fornication?
drugs?......what???
I refuse to answer this based on the fact that it may incriminate me......oh wait.....too late.
ok all, my lovey and i are planning for the first song of our wedding to come after our vows are spoken, the ceremony ends, and he and i are going back down the aisle and into the house.
we want everyone to follow us in order from the first row back, and we'll go in and cut the cake.
thing is, we want a song to start as we head back down the aisle.
Brummie! I was just going to say that! "Here and Now" was our wedding song. My husband picked it out. Soooooooooo romantic.
i have tried to put on a brave face lately but i think i need to release some tears and emotion.
(ok, it's starting already... .
(i have made posts lately as formerout but i am now back on as outbutnotdown, as i had been for a year and a half earlier...password lost.
Dear Brad,
I am Canadian as well. I have been through alot with my children (14 and 10) the past 3 years. Here is what I have learned.
What does the seperation/divorce agreement say? If Joint custody, then, given the age of your kids, she has no right to block access.
Write down everything. Judges love a paper trail of allegations. The kids all of a sudden do not want to see you, write down what you heard, what they said, etc. I have everything documented and it has always been taken before his word alone was.
The judge can order family counselling for divorced couples and their children. Ask for it.
You have to get on this NOW. My oldest is 14, refuses to see her father and has every right to. No one can force her now. They can be forced at a younger age, yes, but not from about 12 years old onward. My ex does nothing to get to her. He takes none of my suggestions, which include: come to the house and ask for her, write weekly letters about his life, her life, anything but religion. Send her little tokens of love, it is not buying her love, it is showing that you are constantly thinking of her. Weekly invite them to do something, coffee, the zoo, etc. He does nothing because I am disfellowshipped therefore he won't have anything at all to do with me.
Ask the judge for shared residency. Not permanent residency with just the wife.
Get your friends to write affidavits about your parenting skills. Get professionals to write, if possible.
What are you access rights now? Tell her that you demand to have the kids on that weekend. Demand it! It is your right. Leave her a message saying, "I will be there at __pm to pick the kids up, according to the agreement, and I will drop them off at ___, according to the agreement." If she will not comply, phone the cops, tell them. My ex did that to me once. (I was not home when he showed up to get my youngest, no problem, but the police did talk to me!) Do not stop phoning the kids, saying good night, leaving messages etc. Get phone access in your agreement before the judge. (WRITE down when you call, what exactly was said, everytime!)
You are not a deadbeat dad and don't let her paint you that way, make everything she says be a lie because your actions are totally opposite.
Tell her that she will not get away with this, you want your kids, you will not stop, you are paying child support and want to FULLY be in their lives. That YOU and HER got divorced not HIM and the KIDS. Ask her how she would feel if this was reversed. Tell her that it is killing you. Plea to her sense of right and wrong.
You have to respect her. You won't get to the kids without her on your side. I know from experience how easily I could have manipulated the 10 year old against her father, but I refused. It was one of the hardest lessons in true love I ever experienced. Let and encourage her to be with someone that physically abused me for 14 years, who has caused me so much pain, what a great way to get back at him. But I didn't and I don't. Tell her that you are sorry for the pain in the marriage, that it all ended up this way, but respect that the marriage has ended, beg her to as well and beg her to let the children grow up with both parents. Plea to her love for the children and their needs. Ignore all harsh words from her or insults and try to soften her. Part of my 14 year old's problem is that she lives through me. She saw the pain for too long and sadly my hurt has become hers. She 'fights my battle'. We have talked about it endlessly but she wn't listen. If only he would come to me, tell me that he is sorry for our marriage but not sorry for what we produced together, and it is them that needs to be focused on, it might help her melt her exterior a little bit. When parents don't get along, children feel compelled to choose a side. That's human nature, pick a side to go with.
My other friend, woman, has lost her 14 year old son to her ex husband and JW's. He hates her and is viciously opposed to seeing her because he believes everything that his JW family tells him. There is nothing she can do now legally. So whatever you do, do now.
If you have any other questions. Feel free to ask. Jez
was it not jehovah?s promise to never kill humans again by means of massive floods?
i guess knocking on 100,000 deaths is just a minor slip-up.
knowing the response of jw's to the horrible situation in asia and their reasoning of it, makes me feel indescribably sick in the stomach!
When a natural disaster strikes, I am reminded of that the earth is not stagnent, it is an ever-changing entity. If God put that into motion, ie. earth's evolution, then would it not make sense that he also put into motion the fact that everything that God created, evolves. That would include humans, their minds, their laws, their principles etc. That is why I believe that the bible is nothing more than a glimpse into a stage of human evolution. A glimpse of an ancient ppl's understanding of the world, way of life, myths, customs and traditions.
Take the bible for what it is. A short story sprinkled with historical facts.
Jez
while i don't agree with the wt's views on shunning, blood transfusions, or how they conduct themselves, i can honestly say i wouldn't celebrate holidays even if i felt like it.
maybe it's that i've been brought up jw, i dunno.
halloween is sort of fun, but i know of it's pagan origins.
Each to his own..but..anyone that knows my story here knows how I have struggled with going back to meetings, getting reinstated just to have my family back. Bottom line is this. I know too much now to ever go back and be guilty by association.
I would never live a lie now and belong to a religion that would let ppl die rather than accept blood, shun loved family members, hide pedophiles, belong to a political entity but let members die rather than do so, etc. The hypocrisy sickens me now, with shunning particularly hurting me. It is true, you will get tripped up somehow, this religion will not allow you to be a 'reformed JW'. You are setting yourself up for hurt and sorrow in the long run. People like you will not be allowed to remain as they will quickly conclude that if they let you get away with it, who else might follow? Control of the masses must be maintained at all costs.
You say you KNOW and disagree with so much of the JW beliefs, yet you still want something from that kind of a religion. At least when I was IN, I was ignorant therefore somehow less guilty but now that I know what JW are really all about, I could not remain true to myself if I even gave the pretense of belonging.
I hope it works out for you, but if it doesn't we are always here to listen. Best wishes, Jez
the report below serves as an excellent example of the shallow understanding that people in general have regarding the so-called "star of bethlehem".
notice that the "star" is held in awe ... some sort of an object that satan himself caused to glow in the dark in order to cause the premature death of jesus.
satan's worst nightmare is jesus, was back then, and still is.
I use to take the bible so literally. I realize the blind ignorance in that now.
Like every other story/account in the bible, the story of the star is nothing more than a glimpse of events. Nothing in the bible is the full, accurate account. There is no absolute 'truth' because the writers perception and bias of accounts, their inability to remember or know EVERYTHING, and their inevidable mistake of leaving out seemingly unimportant facts about the event.
These stories in the bible are tiny little glimpses of an ancient people's way of life, thinking, and belief systems.
I take everything now by looking at the bigger picture, not nitpicking apart every story and molding it until it matches MY beliefs.
These stories mean different things to different people. And that is ok.
The star put there by Satan? Maybe, maybe not, maybe you are missing parts of the story that were not written down, maybe it was not even a star, but a coincidental comet passing over and they INTERPRETED it in the manner that they wanted due to their superstisious, lack of scientific understanding and need to explain strange phenomenoms. They may have thought it was not important to write down certain facts at that time, but it would have been relevent to our modern minds.
How can you take what they wrote so literally and try to mold it when it was already molded the second it went from mind to paper?
Jez
from the wts website:do they believe that they are the only ones who will be saved?.
millions that have lived in centuries past and who were not jehovah's witnesses will come back in a resurrection and have an opportunity for life.
many now living may yet take a stand for truth and righteousness before the "great tribulation," and they will gain salvation.
If JW do not judge people, then why do they bother with disfellowshipping? IF they truly believed Jesus will judge all mankind's hearts, why not leave it to God to decide as there are so many unseen factors that lead people, only God can know....so why do they disfellowship thereby judging someone as unworthy?
Remember, they say that if Armageddon comes and you are df'ed, you are for sure DEAD. No chat with God for you.
Jez
every year, on dec 25th, witnesses in our area gather at a book study group, and they have a dinner together.
although they say that they don't celebrate christmas, why do they gather on dec 25th like catholics do and share dinner together?
i'm sure that neighbors think that it's a christmas gathering.. i know that there isn't any christmas decorations there, or gifts being given, but i find it odd, that every year, some book study will organize a dinner on december 25th.
I find this thread very interesting. I too think most JW "celebrate" Christmas in a muted way. I remember getting a huge group together and going tobaganning, snowmobiling, skiing etc. Turkey dinner was always done. Drinking eggnog with rum, etc...
I think this is why when we come out of JW life, we think WOW some big bang will happen for Christmas when really all we are doing is adding a few things to the season, tree and presents. We all have celebrated Christmas all our lives to some extent and JW's (ex and current) fall into a trap of thinking that Christmas is just about presents and decorations. It is difficult for us to learn that not much has changed, there is not a huge awestruck moment that WOW I now celebrate Christmas.
We just now celebrate it fully and understand that 'them' 'us', well we are not so different after all.
I just do it now, without guilt or hiding who I really am.
Cheers, Jez
i don't know about the rest of you but i seem to see newbies popping up all over the place.
i love it.
i think it would be helpful to have a new listing for newbies to introduce themselves.would there be any problems with this and would it help or hinder the board?
I have thought about this often as well. I always check out when someone says, "I'm new here", My heart warms that they are brave enough and wise enough to check us out. I love the newbies.
Welcome!
Jez
