Posts by Jez

124

social retard

by MerryMagdalene in

jw
friends

i finally figured out why i'm so socially retarded...it just hit me.. here i was sitting and wondering why i have such a hard time meeting new people, making friends, thinking of relevent things to say, and so on.

it really is painful and scary for me.

i was told who i could talk to, who i couldn't talk to, what i could say, what i couldn't say.

Jez

Ok, talked to my hubby today on our little day out. He says that he can see that JW would be socially stunted because of their entire friend/social/religious/family base being wrapped up in the JW religion and then once you leave or are df'ed, it is all gone. Where does that leave one that is thrown into a world that they do not know how to cope in? He says that living in a fantasy world can wreck havoc on a person's social life because even if one ever did exist, it was fake. I believe he is right, to find that out leaves one scarred and unable to trust that your own judgement about others friendship nor ones ability to make 'true' friends, or even the meaning of love or unconditional love.

I will talk more later about this but we are going out to get beer right now.

PS. I like you Mary Jez

124

social retard

by MerryMagdalene in

jw
friends

i finally figured out why i'm so socially retarded...it just hit me.. here i was sitting and wondering why i have such a hard time meeting new people, making friends, thinking of relevent things to say, and so on.

it really is painful and scary for me.

i was told who i could talk to, who i couldn't talk to, what i could say, what i couldn't say.

Jez

And not hypocritical??!!
You already admit that you were living a double life Jez, how can that not be hypocritical?

Diamond: Thank you for your response. I said "I lived true to myself in my teen years." I was not hypocritical to MYSELF. I have never allowed anyone to put me in a shoebox, close the lid and tape it shut. I am not saying i don't have 'issues' but everyone does, some of it stems from being a JW, some of it doesn't. Once I figure out the problem, I ask myself, "Ok, is there a solution? If no, move on, if yes, find it and act upon it."

Jez (going antique shopping with hubby now)

124

social retard

by MerryMagdalene in

jw
friends

i finally figured out why i'm so socially retarded...it just hit me.. here i was sitting and wondering why i have such a hard time meeting new people, making friends, thinking of relevent things to say, and so on.

it really is painful and scary for me.

i was told who i could talk to, who i couldn't talk to, what i could say, what i couldn't say.

Jez

Merry: You seem quiet now. Has my opposing view of growing up a JW bothered you? Did my question about how sheltered were you, bother you? If so, I do apologize. Did I offend you when I asked if if COULD be anything else? If so, I do apologize.

I'm a lover, not a fighter. Peace.

You think you escaped unscathed socially, but maybe you should go back through this thread and some of your other postings with a critical eye. You didn't.

Odrade: There you go again, assuming that my periodic obnoxiousness/outspokenness has anything to do with my JW upbringing. Using the word 'escaped' assumes that I wanted out of some kind of social bondage. Don't assume I felt I was in any bondage growing up. None of us escape our childhood without some form of social awkwardness. JW or not.

Jez

124

social retard

by MerryMagdalene in

jw
friends

i finally figured out why i'm so socially retarded...it just hit me.. here i was sitting and wondering why i have such a hard time meeting new people, making friends, thinking of relevent things to say, and so on.

it really is painful and scary for me.

i was told who i could talk to, who i couldn't talk to, what i could say, what i couldn't say.

Jez

Way below the belt Jez, try and be a little more sensitive to other peoples upbringings and environments; not everyones childhood was as utopian as yours; I am sure you are not but your post makes you sound like the shallow ms doublelife of the congregation.
Grow up.

Diamond: Give over! LOL. I am simply offering another alternative. Don't TELL me to try and be a little more sensitive. Don't TELL me that my childhood was utopian. Grow up? Offering another point of view is a healthy way of seeing different perspectives thereby gaining more understanding of your own situation. Not everyone grew up a JW retard. Why are ppl so afraid and so ready to attack anyone that does not neatly fit into their preconcieved notions of what a JW is/should be/will be??????????

Jez

124

social retard

by MerryMagdalene in

jw
friends

i finally figured out why i'm so socially retarded...it just hit me.. here i was sitting and wondering why i have such a hard time meeting new people, making friends, thinking of relevent things to say, and so on.

it really is painful and scary for me.

i was told who i could talk to, who i couldn't talk to, what i could say, what i couldn't say.

Jez

maybe if I had been brought up in a loving family

LOL. That certainly was NOT my situation.

I was NOT a hypocrite. I lived true to myself my teen years. If you assume things about other ppl, you will get upset over postings because you will be applying your experience to others situations.

Jez

124

social retard

by MerryMagdalene in

jw
friends

i finally figured out why i'm so socially retarded...it just hit me.. here i was sitting and wondering why i have such a hard time meeting new people, making friends, thinking of relevent things to say, and so on.

it really is painful and scary for me.

i was told who i could talk to, who i couldn't talk to, what i could say, what i couldn't say.

Jez

Crumpet: I am surprised that there were not more gatherings in other congregations. Maybe the 80s in my congregation were a good time. I had 4 other siblings, there were alot of bad-ass teens in the congregation at that time and we did alot of good/cool things, and a few naughty as well. Our parents could not have stopped us if they tried, then again, maybe they were living a double life as well on the side?!?!

I am truly sorry for anyone that feels they were stunted in their social growth from being one of JWs. One duty of a parent is to keep their kids active, busy and plugged in. Here are some suggestions Mary:

Find your local volunteer bureau and go do something that you would love, meet ppl that way.

Buy a moterbike...lol...wait, that is just me...meet ppl through a hobby you love.

Go to a church, just for the social thang.

I am on the executive council for one of my community's social activities.

Most of all: learn to love yourself and that alone will be infectious to others.

((to all social retards)) Jez

124

social retard

by MerryMagdalene in

jw
friends

i finally figured out why i'm so socially retarded...it just hit me.. here i was sitting and wondering why i have such a hard time meeting new people, making friends, thinking of relevent things to say, and so on.

it really is painful and scary for me.

i was told who i could talk to, who i couldn't talk to, what i could say, what i couldn't say.

Jez

Ah come on..... I became a master of social life on the side as well as a JW. AND my youth is full of congregation get-togethers, huge camping out trips with other JW teens, dress up parties with teens, dancing with teens, people of all ages/color/status in life over for dinner every weekend, siblings, meeting ppl from all over at conventions, swimming in the pools at conventions, walking around outside at conventions with friends, school-life, worldly boyfriends, worldly friends, school sports, on and on....

I mean, how sheltered were you???? How many other people do you know had that kind of exposure to so many different situations/people or had such full weekends??? There was always something on the go, being planned or being remembered. I miss that about being a JW and that is the only thing I miss.

Could it be anything else that causes you to be a bit of a recluse? It is easy to blame everything on living the life of a JW, but it COULD be other reasons as well.

Jez

38

Breaking ties with toxic people....

by love11 in

jw
friends

what do you do if your siblings are ex-jw's, but no one is still talking to one another?

i used to live in chicago and i moved back to my home town just to be near my sisters.

my husband had to search high and low for his line of work in this town and loved me enough to move back when he saw how sad i was without them.

Jez

I have a really hard time with breaking ties with my family. I think I still and will always have this thought of 'the picture perfect' family. I see my neighbors have a ton of family over for their 2 year olds birthday and it tears me apart. I am so envious of close families. I am always thinking that if I leave, it would really fall apart, like I am some kind of bridge between them all. My mother is very distant and self centered, so it is easy to get rid of her, but others, well....I just keep thinking that family is the most important thing, but I am learning the hard lesson that in life, I have only me to rely on.

I am sad for you, me and any others that have this kind of family....Jez

36

A Pivotal Date: March 20

by ezekiel3 in

i am just giggling myself inside out with the stupid antics regarding the march 20 release of the new org book.. of course, in great irony, only the apostates seem to know what's going on.. meanwhile in the congregations, a excitment tinged with mystery and suspense is tweaking the r&f.

my entire book study was just about begging the conductor for any hint.. to emphasize the surprise, congregations that meet on saturday (march 19) are actually moving their public/wt meetings to sunday just for the event.

just imagine the drool letdown when they find out the truth, that old br.

Jez

but it's not a real green book, that would be cruel.

Ok, that was really funny Scully LOL

Jez

126

I still think it might be the truth - what is wrong with me?

by slimboyfat in

apostate literature - i have read the lot.

you name it - c of c, gentile times reconsidered, thirty tears a watchtower slave, the orwellian world of jehovah's witness, apocalypse delayed, and the freeminds and watchtower observer sites, so on and so on.

and i have been reading the posts on this site regularly pretty much since it started, and hourglass before it.

Jez

Like most JW's, the option to stay a JW is not a cognitive one, it is an emotional one. The draw to that religion has more to do with family, security, knowing the future, having a purpose in life, being part of a 'secret' group, team feeling, power, being on a higher moral, spiritual etc ground than everyone else, having the 'truth' when no one else has it, etc.

So it doesn't matter how much we tell him that they have it wrong, he knows. He just can't separate or does not want to, the emotional entanglement that the WBTS are masters at weaving.

Jez