I know...its grouse ain't it!!
Beck
Beck_Melbourne
JoinedPosts by Beck_Melbourne
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16
Fornication Vs Divorce
by chezza inhi all,.
i was reading another post earlier about wether or not to let your children bf gf sleep over and brought something to mind that i have given a great deal of thought too.
we all know very well the stand the witnesses take on no sex before marriage, and i wonder how many marriages have ended up in divorce because of this.. how many young ones rush into marriage without really considering the commitment they are taking simply because they want to have sex, i am not saying this is always the case but we all know how strong hormones can be, and given the standpoint on divorce in the organization i wonder if given the chance to have sex before marriage wether or not this would lesson the divorce rate which i might add before i left the dubs was rising even in the organization.
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Beck_Melbourne
Hi Carmel
You have a family to be proud of...and it sounds like you and dear hubby have provided sound and balanced parenting. It also seems as though you and hubby have provided a loving environment for your family...one where they feel loved for no other reason but because they are yours. I would have liked a homelife like that...there's a lot of things I would have liked. As a mother myself...I find I am now faced with a challenge...I have a teenage daughter who has a borg father with his rules and rigid regimented ways....and then there's me with my non-borg ways. I'm struggling because I don't want to become too permissible...yet I fear that is exactly what I have become....too generous with that 'freedom of choice'. I've done a fair bit of reading...on topics such as blended family issues, parenting teens and I've also tried to piece it all together to find my own balance...especially with the borg and non borg influences.
I think u are right about the suggestion for education programs in the borg...education in life skills in general wouldn't go amiss.
Beck
Chezza...yes I was one of those 'double standard teens' in the borg...felt pressured to lie and sneak around because I wasn't allowed a boyfriend. It only made the whole 'sex' thing all the more intriguing...plus I was denied so much as a little kid....so that by the time I was a teen I was sick to death of all the 'can't do' rules. In the end, I married the day after my 17th birthday...so technically I was 18 but only just.
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16
Clean organization???Yeah, right!!!
by coffee_black ini am sure we all know stories that illustrate the hypocricy in the borg.
the reality is a very different picture than the one they like to portray.
care to share a story?.
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Beck_Melbourne
Hey Coffee..how you doing??
Your story was NOT gossip...because even though you have changed the names...those same characters are in every congregation I know of. Except 'different faces in different places'.
As for hypocrisy...where to start. I think where the hurt kicks in is when we are shunned by people who loved us when were in the truth...but who now think we're sludge because we're out. Yet these very ones are doing things themselves that raises the eyebrows...except they are better at concealing it then others.
I can understand the hypocrisy however...as there is an incredible amount of pressure on people who have been raised in the truth and who's entire family are witnesses...their whole existence is JW related. Where do they go if they fall short? What should they do if they can't live up to the high standards?? Usually they do what they can...and try and get away with it as best they can. That way they don't lose their good name...their friends...their families...and their honour. Its not until you leave that you realise you are better off being free of all that guilt and fear.
Beck
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14
Totally Betrayed By A JW
by Dutchie inwhen i was an active jw, my closest friend was the wife of an elder who had been disfellowshipped because of an affair with a pioneer.
i loved her and we got along great together.
i considered her my very best friend.
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Beck_Melbourne
Tammie...that is the best picture ever. I'm going to copy it and print it out...that was so nice.
Beck
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16
Fornication Vs Divorce
by chezza inhi all,.
i was reading another post earlier about wether or not to let your children bf gf sleep over and brought something to mind that i have given a great deal of thought too.
we all know very well the stand the witnesses take on no sex before marriage, and i wonder how many marriages have ended up in divorce because of this.. how many young ones rush into marriage without really considering the commitment they are taking simply because they want to have sex, i am not saying this is always the case but we all know how strong hormones can be, and given the standpoint on divorce in the organization i wonder if given the chance to have sex before marriage wether or not this would lesson the divorce rate which i might add before i left the dubs was rising even in the organization.
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Beck_Melbourne
So true Chezza....how often did we hear the words "wait for the 'bloom of youth' to pass"!!! We had so few choices didn't we?? At the time you just want 'togetherness'...and not necessarily marriage...it was either get married or get DF. It is such a sad situation to wake up one day and find that the person beside you is so very wrong for you...and you realise that you have absolutely nothing in common with each other except 3 kids and a dog and 5 meetings a week...the only things keeping you together.
There are so many complicated issues when you're a couple in the truth...and I have heard it said that the truth keeps marriages together. I don't think so...I've seen a lot of marriages break up inside and outside the truth...so there isn't a true indication that the truth offers all the answers to marital bliss...sometimes the 'truth' is the cause for some of the problems. I know it was for mine.
Beck
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31
JW's are the slowest walkers in the world
by Unclepenn1 inthat's all i wanted to say.
you can always spot them by the 'less than 1/2 miles per hour' they stroll down the street.
salvation by the hour.
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Beck_Melbourne
They are conserving energy! It was probably meeting night.
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13
Kissing....Lips or Cheeks?
by teenyuck inat my dad's funeral i realized something...all the jw relatives on my mother's side of the family "lip" kiss.
this means that when you are greeting that person, male or female, young or old, you grasp them, pull them forward, hug and kiss...on the lips!!!
uuuggghhh!!!
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Beck_Melbourne
Hi Puff
In my culture...it is kiss...walk along....kiss...walk to the next rellie...kiss....some are on the lips...some are on the cheek...some are two on the lips and one of the forehead....and so on. But this is the tradition and is part of my culture....all the hosts kiss each and every guests.
When my father died...my aussie partner accompanied me back to NZ and was introduced to my cultural heritage....for him it was quite overwhelming....he said he's never kissed so many people before over a three day period. He was creeped out many times lol...and he would hide away when it came time for kissing again. But for me...it is how things have always been...and I've never been bothered by it...although I do worry about hygiene and things like cold sores etc...but it comes down to 'should I be rude or try and get the cheek on cheek thing happening'. Gotta go with the flow I guess.
Beck
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14
Totally Betrayed By A JW
by Dutchie inwhen i was an active jw, my closest friend was the wife of an elder who had been disfellowshipped because of an affair with a pioneer.
i loved her and we got along great together.
i considered her my very best friend.
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Beck_Melbourne
Hi Dutchie
Betrayal?!?!??! Where to begin lol. I think the best 'worst' story was at a funeral service. A young witness girl had died...and it was a very big funeral...people came from everywhere. The witnesses rallied around and helped with food and drinks for the guests etc....and we were rinsing cups and making sure all the out of town guests were made to feel welcome and to help out the family.
There was this one sister who was on this new fad diet program...she was fanatical about health etc....she was also a very mean sister...she was alway the kind who would turn up to a function with no plate or food contribution. Well being a funeral and all...she went to a lot of trouble to prepare some soup...and for her this was a big deal. She turned up at the house and presented this very large pot of soup and extended her generous gift to the sisters in the kitchen. The sisters in the kitchen went about their business as hosts and before long the soup was used for all the hungry mourners along with all the other food provisions.
Some time later...an elder approached the sister who's daughter had died...and told her that he thought the funeral catering was inappropriate...and he accused all the 'worldly' guests of gluttony. The soup - unbeknown to all of us - was meant for the family...NOT the hungry guests. Also, it was meant to have been acknowleged and it never was...who buries their daughter one day and thinks 'oh i must thank sister so n so for her soup'? And the elder who said this was the mean sister's husband. What a treacherous pair they were.
Beck
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7
Question for xjw parents of youngsters........
by flower ini'm in need of advice or just other opinions or experiences.
this is kinda directed to xjw's who have spent their whole lives in the org and had to leave lifelong friends and family behind when they left.
especially, single parents..if there are any others out there i'd like to hear from you.. my question has to do with what system you have in place to make sure of your childs future in the event of something happening to you.
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Beck_Melbourne
Scully is right Flower...you need to specify who you want to act as caregivers for your son...that means eliminating who you don't want.
I'm like you, all my family are in the borg except one brother....however my kids are old enough now to decide what they want and which path they choose to take. Their father is still in the borg...so if anything happens to me, they will go directly to him. His borg influence is no longer effective...so it really isnt a problem for me, but I can see how tricky it can be if you're kids are still little and if you've only got JW relatives.
I guess I would want my kids to go to someone who loves them...whether JW or not. But thats just me Flower...doesn't mean to say it is right for you aye.
My thoughts.
Beck
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2
The new Flame War
by Mr Ben inyou are all very naughty boys and girls.
i am therefore commissioning the great flame war of the last days.. all the naughty boys and all the naughty girls are to face each other across a large bonfire on the hills at midnight, naked, of course.
all the naughty girls are then to dance around the flames and all the naughty boys are to spank them as they go by.. as part of your penance you will then conjure this image into your mind every time you see the flame wars flare, and you must invite the person flaming you round to your place to give you another spankin.
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Beck_Melbourne
LOL@Mr Ben
*knocking on Headmaster Ben's door with tassle whip in hand*
Am I the first one here???