http://oregonlive.com/news/oregonian/index.ssf?/xml/story.ssf/html_standard.xsl?/base/front_page/101671540232151251.xml.
shunning in spotlight .
wendy y. lawton .
Brilliant article..and Farkel..you're famous
Well presented article and very balanced....I have printed it off to show to a few acquaintances at work...and my boss told me that his wife used to be a JW...but because he was a worldly...she gave it up to marry him. Kind of like your situation yumbby...except she wasn't DF....she just became inactive and is so much happier for it
Beck
hmmmmm............ although a lot of factors weigh in on a person's reaction to shunning, who is guilty in the end?.
i was wondering what the bryant's jw family are thinking, but reverting to my old jw rationale, "that's what happens when you leave the organization.
" i am horrified at what i could rationalize for the society.. maybe dave and the rest who attended the services can help someone in the family who was reconsidering jw policies.
Hi alamb...how are you doing??
I don't know if I'm on the right track or not...but I think most JWs don't feel guilty about the shunning...they think it is 'us' who have the problem...because we should know better...and we knew what was in store if we continued to be non-conforming. It makes me sick to be honest!
My family didn't feel any guilt for shunning me...although they did feel uncomfortable in my company. My mother continued to have contact with me...but it was only when I approached her and would initiate the contact. She never called to ask me how I was...and when I did call her...she never once said "and how are you my daughter??" Those words would have meant a lot to me at that time. Even in recent discussions with her...she feels justified in her reaction to my situation...she thinks she was more then fair and kind...because she did at least talk to me. My sister on the other hand...totally refused to talk to me....she did that 'talk to the hand' motion....and guess what?? Thats exactly what I did back to her...and we didnt talk for 12 months. Now we are talking again...because she has become inactive...so her christian trained conscience isn't kicking in...so she says. But truth is...she missed me...and she knew I missed her....and so we managed to pick things up where we left off. We talk exactly like we used to...and we're both happy with that. But does she feel guilty about those 12 months of shunning?? No way in the world...she felt it was done with Jehovah's blessing [>:(] We'll just see about that!!! I'm working on her
Beck
i've finally made my decision to go cold turkey and quit the vile weed habit!
today is my first day....i've got aways to go, so i need all the luck in the world.. i'll let you know my progress and whether this is an easy thing to achieve.
many of you will laugh at this comment i know!!!!!!!!!!!.
Way To Go VIOLET!!!!
Good luck girl...don't look back now!! Hip Hip Hooray for Violet!!
You'll do fine...just keep focused.
Beck
*sending out good vibes to Violet*
hey all.
i just got home from the hospital earlier this evening, but i wanted to post a few pics of my lil man for you.
i can't believe he is finally here!
awww...thats so gorgeous...what a lovely lil man you do have...Riley is a nice name too....well done girl!!!
Congrats to you and family mommy....you're a clever girl!!
Beck
i think the most thoughtless thing they eva did to me...and it's rather embarrassing...is when i was still a jw at 14.. i'd just had an operation to remove a cyst and my left ovary due to polycystic ovarian syndrome.
so i'm sitting at the district convention and i get up to go and have lunch with my mum cause i was sitting with an sister a little older than me - in her 20's.
so i start walking across the oval and there's people everywhere and i'm getting a few looks, but hey, i was a paranoid teen, they made me agoraphobic, so i didn't think too much of it.
[email protected] laughed out loud over that one!!
Hey terafera...where you been girl? And if you look close up...some movie stars have freckles...how dare sister hunchback say that to you!!
All your stories are great...we should put them together in a bound volume I love reading about other people's experiences....and this is the best place for it!
what physical humiliation did you suffer in field service?.
i froze my little hands off in the winter and sweated until i got headaches in the summer....got yelled at if i complained about it....even if i was so hot or cold that i got sick afterwards.. at times it was like calculated torture.. you?
The worst thing I experienced was when I was a new publisher...it was my second time out....I was working with a stuffy and judgemental sister (aren't they all) when a kitten from one of the houses followed us out onto the street. I picked it up and shooed it back into its driveway...and we continued on down the street. I made the comment that it was a cute kitty...wouldn't mind one like that myself.
I get home...phone rings...brother elder calling...asks me I had by any chance stolen the kitten we had stumbled across on field service [>:(] The householder had rung the JW listing in the phone book accusing us of stealing their kitten...and because I handled it...I got the blame. I told the brother that I wouldn't dare do something so stupid...and he counselled me for making the comment I did about the kitten. Why oh why didn't I leave way back then!!!
Beck
at the hall i used to go to started to notice certain men volunteering all the time to do talks and helping others with needs in the hall.
though there was nothing wrong with that i started to become suspicious because they were not like that previously.then some months later these men became elders and some became ministerial servants ,and guess what did they volunteer for talks as much maybe be as helpful as much well i will leave you to guess that.so the question is why such a change of heart after the promotion,what were they really after did they want to fit in or want authority over others.
Actually...my ex was an elder...and he was asked to step down when I played up. But when he was doing his elder stuff...he was always very busy. They are meant to take the lead in just about everything...and that leaves them very little time to get involved in other things a publisher can do. It also gave publishers the opportunity to 'reach out'...and usually it would be noticed by other elders. For example, my ex being the Theocratic School Overseer used to regularly call on certain publishers to do 'fill in' talks...when someone who had been assigned a talk didn't show up. He knew exactly who to call on...and it was never another elder, as usually all the elders were caught up doing other things. That was my observation anyway.
Beck
i was thinkin lately about the use of titles and how they can be problematic such as the ones used on here such as jedi member,emperor class etc.think why r these titles put into effect is it maybe to encourage others to stay committed to jw.com and thus strive for a better title or prominence or even to the advantage of the owner of this website to remain loyal to the website and to keep the number of visitors high.you see if any of you who are previous witnesses well know how the use of titles can serve to no advantage titles only cause envy,division,etc "thats what i think"
I guess its so you can tell sh*t from clay...nah just kidding!! Jedi posters aren't really sh*t
I would have thought titles like the following, and in the following order would be inappropriate:
return visit
bible student
unbaptised publisher
publisher
auxhilary pioneer
regular pioneer
special pioneer
ministerial servant
elder
presiding overseer
circuit overseer
district overseer
governing body
I don't know where to put bethelite & Gildead Schoolite...there are probably more...who cares!!
Beck
i think the most thoughtless thing they eva did to me...and it's rather embarrassing...is when i was still a jw at 14.. i'd just had an operation to remove a cyst and my left ovary due to polycystic ovarian syndrome.
so i'm sitting at the district convention and i get up to go and have lunch with my mum cause i was sitting with an sister a little older than me - in her 20's.
so i start walking across the oval and there's people everywhere and i'm getting a few looks, but hey, i was a paranoid teen, they made me agoraphobic, so i didn't think too much of it.
Poor you Vi...I'm feeling anxieties just thinking about it. I once knew a sister who had that happened at the meeting...she burst into tears...poor cherub. But anyway...when the meeting was over..I saw her hunched over and cleaning the seat...geez I felt bad for her...and for you too Vi. I reckon I would have told you...there's no way I would have let anyone walk past without saying something...that's pretty slack alright.
LOL@you Chezz...cardboard dresses are fashionable. I would have told you too...can't have all our husbands looking at your breasts now can we lol.
I think that's a pretty mean thing to have happened to you Beans...thats one of the most unchristian things anyone could do...very uncharitable!!
The meanest thing JW's have ever done to me turned out to be the kindest thing. A sister told a brother who told an elder that they had seen me with another man I still had not completed closure with my ex...so it sort of sped things up a bit.
The thing that really p*ssed me off was that this sister saw me in a mall...she approached me and was talking all friendly etc...but I had no idea that she had been following me around for about 2 hrs...this was in a different town by the way. It came out later that she saw me with someone 'not' my husband...so she followed me..approached me..said nothing out of the ordinary...then rushed home and rang around a few friends [>:(]
It turned out to be a kindest thing because I soon DA myself and moved away...and got a 'real' life. Hip Hip Hooray!!!!
Beck
don't become emotionaly attached to jw.com.
it seems that many of our friends here have become too emotionaly involved with this discussion board.. it has eaten into their personal lives,and caused upset and anger.. it is a shame as a times there can be great encouragement and words of wisdom here.other times nonsense and triva.. it can be addictive, and i sometimes find myself wandering here too often.. but i think its good to keep yourself detached from the people here unless you know them more personnaly.. internet conversations are different from face to face chats, and people say things they wouldn't normally say in front of someone, or say things due to lack of understanding , of other peoples needs.. we would't want to put people off from coming here by petty bickering and such.. i believe that restraint is sometimes called for and a little patience on our part when we feel hurt by peoples cutting remarks, imagined or other wise.
That's pretty cool Perry...I have often wondered if people have bumped into old acquaintances from their past on here. Not everyone posts their pic, so how would you know sometimes.
Cool story...wish it would happen to me
Beck
