That is so true. I remember there was a sister in my hall who was aging, and quite ill. Out in FS one rainy day with the BS conductor who was also in charge of service reports, we stopped by to chat with her. She had deteriorated to the point where she only had a few weeks left. She knew it and told us. You know I don't think we were out of the driveway, and he made some comment to the effect that it will be sad to see her go, but the hall's report to the society will be better off. I was only 13 or 14 at the time, but that made me sick.
After a year of inactivity, research and soul searching, I still have one lingering question to the posters out there. What are alternate uses of WT books? I currently use 4 bound volumes to hold up a couch with a broken leg, we're getting a new couch, so there's 4 back into circulation. I don't have a gun, so skeet shoot is out of the question, and I don't have a fire place. What have you done with your books once you left?
my name is nigel.i am 50,married with five kids,early teens to late 20,s.i live in the bush in australia.i have cruised this site for a couple of months & feel comfortable enough to talk now.those of you who were long term jw,s will understand that.only my direct family know what i am about to tell.i have never told anyone else as they would not understand.i was born a jw in the u.k. and some of my first memories are of going door to door.i was scalded when i was 4 & i remember some brothers coming to see me.my parents emigrated when i was 13 as my dad didn,t get on with the inlaws.my dad drank a bit at home at home & was violent.it was never spoken about outside of the family and at 15 i left home.i was the eldest of four.i continued to go to meetings,lived on my own & learnt a trade.at 20 i married a good jw girl as was expected & became a regular pioneer.i was a good public speaker & as far as the congregation was concerned had a bright future.i believed in what i was doing as it was what i had been taught.when i was 22 we had a baby & was witnessing one sunday morning & was involved in a head on car accident in a 60mph zone.my wife & son were minor injured but i was lucky to survive.i had many bone fractures & head injuries & i did not know who i was,what had happened,nor recognize my wife or child for 3 months.i was in hospital for 6 months.i was unable to do anything for a year.by this time i was in financial difficulty & due to this & my mental state grabbed what i could get in court,which was not much.during this time no one helped...no one.i continued to go to the meetings but my heart was gone & the downhill slide had started.over the next 7 to 8 years i worked a normal job but started to drink & by mid 80s was not attending meetings.my wife was a good jw & did not understand my feelings.although i had much respect for her & still do,by this stage we had 3 kids,& there was a chasm between us.i knew that i was affecting my wife but she would never divorce me.so i figured the best way was to give them all the reason not to want me around.i was called to the meeting & i told the elders how i felt & that even i did not know why.disfellowshiped.fair enough.we divorced late 80s.she married an elder.i married a so say worldly person.about 3 or 4 years later my new wife & i had 2 kids & were getting along fine.i had started talking to dad but i did not want to go back to meetings.my dad was disfellowshiped for smoking & could not give it up.he became ill & very depressed.he overdosed on anti depressants.my mum knew what he had done & left him on the floor for 24 hours before calling an ambo.she rang me when he was dead.i don,t talk to her any more.she remains a jw.no comment.my sisters are jw,s.
nobody talks anymore but.three weeks after dad died my brother had a lot of problems,financial,legal & grief.he was only 29.he shot himself.i buried two in three weeks.and so began a new chapter in my life...violence.and baby wasn,t i good at it.i king hit everyone within arms length for a year.didn,t lose a fight,the anger was immense.did the maximum weekend detention,lost my job,my second wife took the kids & went.
understandable.i held a gun in my mouth so hard i bled for two days.but i couldn,t do it.i love my present wife & kids & i believed that jehovah would understand & forgive me when i die.i did my best with what i was given.from that day i never looked back.i fixed it up with my wife & we get on great.my three oldest kids to my 1st wife are jw,s but i see a bit of them.my wife now hasn,t much time for religion.understandable.she is a nurse.i don,t work any more.i still look outside & appreciate what god has done for us but i don,t need other people to feel that.too much damage done.i don,t slag the witnesses nor the wts.their business what they do.i just don,t agree with the procedure of df,s and the climate of fear & guilt.i have seen much & will contribute where i can.you seem like a decent bunch.good luck to you all.nigel
It was funky! My parents called it the "Used-Car salesman" suit. I also had a gold coloured one with big flashy buttons and wore a bright blue shirt underneath it, and wore a few sports jackets that I wore with cords. I felt the way I expressed earlier. So I had fun with it. You know, I remember listening to a special needs talk, saying that men COULD ONLY WEAR WHITE DRESS SHIRTS! Evidently, it was a worldly trend to wear coloured shirts. What a crock. I don't remember Jesus ever saying to wear a suit. I think it was the other way around, don't dress to impress. But I guess it's a form of control, more money on expensive suits, means less money for evil persuits. Just an idea anyway.
BTW Confucious, I'm glad you feel better getting rid of the suit. I too got rid of my favourite Plaid meeting suit, but that was due to gaining 35 lbs after getting married (135lbs to 170). Mind you I needed it. I looked awful thin! The pics still haunt me!
When I made my descion to leave the JW's, and talked to my wife about it. This was one of the issues I had. I remember growing up as a kid a guy in our hall, was an absolute prick. He treated everyone like they weren't worth his time. Yet, when the CO showed up, he had a big smile on, stood at the front door, shook everyone's hand. I couldn't help but think, "What a hypocryte!" This went on for a few years and sure enough he got his promotion. That's the love I learned from the JW's. Show love enough to get ahead in the org. Sure, there were individuals that did have a genuine love for others, but as a whole, that wasn't the norm. But I guess, what can you expect? That's the path that was laid in front of them by their parents. They've been programmed to follow that path, at all costs. They're taught a "doom and gloom" outlook on life, and heck, you don't want to get too close to someone and show them love, just in case they're evil in disguise, right? So they put on their "happy face" at the hall, and move up in the corp. After all, the dead end job that they were programmed to go after, doesn't really have many options to move ahead. Maybe a promo to chief bottle washer, but that's it.
It was more then just sueing for the 10%. The manager attempted to lay criminal charges. What nerve! Can you imagine having a criminal record for not leaving an 8% tip? Going to a job interview, and when they ask "Do you have a criminal record you haven't been pardoned for?" "Um yes I do for not leaving a tip." Just stupid. I'm surprised a prosecutor would even look at the case.
I've always wondered if the JW were going to keep up with the fashion trends. I know they always fight to be different, and to stand out (even if it is like a sore thumb) so people know they're JW's. Really though the world has for the most part dropped the suit and tie nessessity. 20 years ago it was unheard of to see the President in anything but a suit and tie, now you see him in press interviews and in confrences with his staff in jeans and a denim shirt. I've seen several pics of Tony Blair with out the suit and tie. When the leaders of the country are dressing down, that really shows a change in fashion trends. When I was in sales, I was told NOT to wear a tie, ever. And definately not a jacket. It intimidates people, it makes them think that you're phoney, trying too hard to impress others. It's not about being disrespectful, it's about the world in general saying, it's not needed. Will the JW's change? Just like any of thier policies, wait until the next WT and see!
As for me, I would go to a place that sold used clothes for $1 a pound for my meeting clothes. My favorite suit was plaid, mostly burgandy with some brown and I wore a solid green tie with it. When I grew a goatee and wore it to an assembly, I got looks. It was funny, for me anyway.
When I felt that big boot hit me on my ass-end, I could feel the love! And when they announced it at the hall followed by a local needs talk regarding "loose conduct", which was my crime, and lumping in smoking and drug use, which I didn't do but they wanted to make ones think I did, I felt like the whole cong. was giving me a giant group hug! That hug made me feel sick more then anything.
one of the criticisms i see on this board, especially if one points out a similarity between jws and jwd or other similar discussion boards, is that a person is still seeing things in the eye of a jehovah's witness.
I don't. Years of token service prepared me for the state I'm now in. I do however think as one when my wife is around, as I don't wish to offend and make our situation worse then it already is. Since I've left, I've become much more understanding when it comes to people's differences, and now have many friends who before I wouldn't have let in my life because of their differences, people that I've grown to care about. For that I'm glad I don't think and act as a witness.
