beckyboop

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Posts by beckyboop

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  18

  Some days I really hate having been a dub...

  by Abaddon in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  ... okay, this is a real glass-half-full day, in fact it's a glass-half-full of nothing falling into a pit of infinate depth day.. does anyone else have re-occuring getting-one's-shit-together problems?.

  i can get a job, get promoted real quick, i'm reasonably smart, when motivated i can work other people into a physical decline.

  yet i always hide from reality in some way; chiefly financial.

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  beckyboop

  (((((((((((Abaddon))))))))))) Sorry to hear that you are down, and maybe stuck in a rut. I hope you find whatever you need to figure things out and move forward. It seems like many here (myself included) empathize with what you're going through; and IMO, things like the jw crap, our personalities, as well as other things (like astrology) all contribute to who we are and where we can get stuck. I personally am helped when I can either read or talk to others to get a good perspective. Good luck! BTW, my boyfriend and I will be arriving in Amsterdam Thursday morning, and have tentative plans to meet up with Vivamus and Avengers on Sunday. If you're interested, please contact Avengers to get the final arrangements. Hope we get a chance to meet you! Becky
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  20

  Spoke my mind ...

  by Vivamus in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  well now, the lesson i learn today is that it feels *good* to speak your mind.

  i entered in a battle of will and principles with a person who has none of those, and i came out feeling victorious.

  no matter the consequences, no matter the financial loss, self-respect and the moral high ground have been saved for me.

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  beckyboop

  (((((((((((((((Vivamus))))))))))))))))) That's great you were able to tell your dad how you felt without getting angry. When we finally can be honest with our parents about things that hurt us, it seems like we jump over a huge hurdle. Good for you! I hope if nothing else he realizes that his treatment of you does nothing to further your relationship, and maybe he'll finally do something to change that. That said, we are still coming to Amsterdam in 2 weeks and hope to see you. Good luck in your new place! BTW, which place did you choose? I vaguely remember a thread about that... Becky
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  30

  Did you ever save anyones life?

  by dh in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  if so, was it a stranger or was it someone you knew, and how did the relationship develop afterward?

  i did once, a friend who was drowning, after the incident the friendship totally deteriorated and now whenever i think about it, i wonder why i bothered, it's difficult watching someone drown, especially when they shout your name instead of help.

  anyway, anyone got any experiences to share?.

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  beckyboop

  I don't think I've helped save anyone's life yet, but mine was saved 2 months ago. My boyfriend and I were in Jamaica, and we had been snorkelling off the cliffs of Negril. The water had suddenly become choppy, and we immediately headed for the ladder to get out of the water. My boyfriend went first, and then helped me get to the ladder.

  Unfortunately, I didn't take my swim fins off first, so I couldn't get my feet on the ladder. I immediately "hugged" the ladder while 2 huge waves crashed over my head. I still had my mask and snorkel on (thankfully), but I couldn't do anything more than hang on. If I had been swept off the ladder, I would have been smashed up against the cliffs and probably killed or at the very least banged up by the rocks.

  The weirdest part about the whole thing was that my boyfriend had already headed up the ladder after helping me get to it, because some guy was coming DOWN the ladder to swim out to his boat. My boyfriend by that time realized I was in trouble, but the other guy was already right next to me and took off my fins for me and then LIFTED me up until my foot reached the ladder. I very shakily went up and while going asked the guy "Dude, what's your name? I think you just saved my life!" His answer? "Famous Vincent" Sure enough his name was right on his boat!

  All in all a very scary experience, and if it wasn't for both my boyfriend and the other guy I'm not sure I'd have made it home from that trip. I did not get to see the guy again before we left, but we're going back again so hopefully I'll meet him again next winter. It's amazing how much you learn to appreciate life after something like that happens.

  Becky
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  34

  How do you view your parents ????? very tough question !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  by run dont walk in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  being brought up in the borg since birth, i beleived everything my parents taught me and showed me, i looked up to them, they were my heroes in life.. now, i look back, they lied to me, cheated me, mislead me, did not look out for my best interests, and abadonned me when i needed them the most,.

  i have nothing good to say about them (or my brothers and sisters), like to tie them both to a tree and ----- them.

  they are very stupid people.. i'm sure i will wrestle with this the rest of my life.. thanks so much watchtower bible and tract society !!!!!!!!!!

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  beckyboop

  (((((((((((((Run Don't Walk)))))))))))))))

  Thanks for the thought-provoking topic. I am still struggling with this issue as well. My parents will very rarely call me (they didn't call about my grandmother's death nor for my sister's wedding), and it's very frustrating for me. I would very much like to keep the lines of communication open with them and talk frequently; but at the same time, I cannot stand to have to continually face their judgements of me, the shunning, the lies etc. So unfortunately I've taken the easy way out for now and just live my life and don't contact them much.

  However, I very much agree with Abaddon on this one. They are the product of a cult--the same as me--except they are still blinded. I too know how to push their buttons, but I'm trying to choose not to. It's extremely difficult for me though because I want for them so badly to see the light like I did. Fact is, if and/or when they do it will be because they were ready and probably won't have much to do with me.

  The bottom line for me is being able to show unconditional love--it's harder than I thought. But I do love them and appreciate the love they showed to me in the only way they knew best. They did many things to show their love for us, like travelling all over the country and meeting people in each place (jw or not). I do respect them for doing the best they could, even though it wasn't quite enough.

  Becky
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  10

  He is not quiting the cult

  by kls in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i had high hopes my cult husband was finding his way out of the cult .i asked on a thread what youre thoughts were on him missing meetings.

  i still don't know why he missed them but it doesn't matter he went back.

  i know you are supposed to be kind and not fight when they leave but it just came out of my mouth.

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  beckyboop

  ((((((((((((((((((KLS))))))))))))))))))))

  While I do not know the details surrounding your husband's meeting attendance, I would like to say this--be patient. When my husband started telling me about the many discrepancies and lies fed to us by the jw's, I immediately threatened him with divorce. He--like yourself--felt frustrated at my unwillingness to listen to him, and asked Randy (from Freeminds) for some guidance in the matter. He told him to be patient, and to encourage me to be myself and to get involved in activities that were outside the jw world.

  It took several years, and it worked for me. That said, you may never be the one to get through to him, because he will only be ready in his own time. The most you can do is be yourself, no matter what, and encourage him likewise. Hopefully he'll come around, and that you can move forward in your lives. I do realize though how difficult it must be for you right now, as many others do with family and friends still in. If you are feeling particularly frustrated because of how it affects your marriage, I hope you can find the courage to do what it takes to maintain your happiness.

  Becky
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  15

  The Awakening

  by darkuncle29 in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  i don't remember where i found this, could have even found it here.

  i don't remember reading it before, and i know i didn't write this.

  i still think it is profound though.

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  beckyboop

  Dark Uncle, Thank you thank you thank you for posting that! I have read it before--I actually have a printout out of it that I was going to give to a friend. When I saw this post, I was going to just skim it because "I had already read it". I am so glad I didn't. How wonderful life is now to be able to realize that THIS is life, it's not all about ME, and the worse thing we can do is be AFRAID. Thanks again for posting this--it was very timely. Becky
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  24

  Need advice ... I'm moving

  by Vivamus in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i need a bit of advice.. .

  or rather, i need to hear i will be fine, surviving in the big city.

  actually, not so big a city, i'm talking about rotterdam.. .

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  beckyboop

  Viv, Hmmmm, sounds like you have a tough decision. Living alone in a city like that could be tricky, but like others suggested, ask the locals of the area what it's REALLY like. There are many great places to live and friendly people even in areas like you described--it's just finding them. I lived in a really bad part of town in Iowa for 7 months--we could sit in our living room and watch the regular crack deals at the corner. However, I was with my boyfriend (about 250 lbs.) and his dog (about 130 lbs.), so I always felt rather safe. But I did walk places, sometimes without the dogs or him and was fine because I always treated anyone I encountered with friendliness. (maybe if you got a BIG dog?...;) Anyway, good luck with your decision. Hopefully you'll just KNOW what will be right for you and it will work out fine. BTW, did you get my PM? We are coming to Amsterdam at the end of March and would love to meet up with any ex-jw's there. Let me know if your schedule would permit it--good luck with your new home! Becky
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  54

  Beer survey

  by dustyb in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  what brand of suds does everyone drink here?

  i personally enjoy good ole' bud light.

  but if i have to be cheap i do sacrifice taste for quanity and buy keystone ice (ack).

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  beckyboop

  I'm not a huge beer drinker, but I do like the occasional Guiness on tap, and was just introduced to a Belgian beer called Blue Moon. It was a very nice, almost like a cider. I also just tried Stone Cat, which was pretty good, and I will drink Sam Adams Cream Stout with my boyfriend sometimes as well. I love trying different beers, and am looking forward to trying some in Amsterdam in March.
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  54

  Other peoples happiness.......

  by obiwan in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  it's so sad sometimes to see people question anothers happiness.

  there have been posts made about good things happening to our fellow posters here.

  posters questioning good fortune and happiness.

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  beckyboop

  Why does any or all criticism have to be taken negatively? I read the posts that are being alluded to, and basically, the only thing that was mentioned was Stacy's OWN words from previous posts. While the timing may not have been the best, Stacy took extreme offense it seemed instead of maybe just re-reading her own words. And I also noticed that any other statements made were not mean-spirited, but rather in keeping with her original words about being too young to get married.

  That said, marriage is a huge step no matter what the age, and personally, I think it would be important to hear about the "negative" things--that's how we can learn and maybe AVOID some mistakes.

  As far as other people's happiness, how does anybody here know if a person is deliberately trying to sabotage someone else's happiness? Are you them? Just my thoughts,

  Becky
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  13

  Just checking in .....

  by BobsGirl in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  it has been quite a while since i have posted.

  life has been a whirlwind this year!

  i just wanted to say hello to those of you that remember me, and to let you know that while i don't say so often, many of you have given me strength when needed.

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  beckyboop

  Hiya Bob and Tema and Noah! We've missed you guys very much, and hope to be able to see you soon. We just got back from our vacation to Negril, and we'd love to share our pics with you because we fell in love with it! I hope all is well with you guys, and that you have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! Love you guys muchisimo!

  Becky and Jon

  PS. HI Michelle and family! I hope all is well with you guys also. Love you lots.