Posts by beckyboop

11

My Real Name & Future Plans & Stuff

by Amazing in

jw
friends

when i finished my exit series, i stated that i would post my real name, the names of the various players, like the elders in the various series, and the names of the molesters.

- my real name, yes, but i will limit the names of others identified, except where there is public documentation regarding a couple of pedophiles out of the 5 i personally knew.

one of those is my son-in-law's dad ... the other grandfather of my grandchildren.. i am creating my own personal web site: i still own a domain, and have access to some free web space ... so i will get my picture and name and bio up.

beckyboop

Thanks for clearing that up for me Amazing. I have yet to read your experiences, but I look forward to doing so. I guess I'm just eager for anybody to speak up loud and clear against them! I hope I'm not the only one who secretly wishes that one of the GB will come out and say they think it's all a bunch of hooey! Becky

12

Desperately seeking someone from CT

by ShaleenT in

i am looking for df's or da'd jw's in ct. i have lost most of my friends due to this and am looking to make new ones.

please e-mail me at [email protected]

beckyboop

Hello Chuck! It's nice to hear from someone in RI! What is your story, are you df'd or da'd or just curious? My profile says a little about me, but please feel free to ask me anything. I'm looking forward to hearing from you--Becky

11

My Real Name & Future Plans & Stuff

by Amazing in

jw
friends

when i finished my exit series, i stated that i would post my real name, the names of the various players, like the elders in the various series, and the names of the molesters.

- my real name, yes, but i will limit the names of others identified, except where there is public documentation regarding a couple of pedophiles out of the 5 i personally knew.

one of those is my son-in-law's dad ... the other grandfather of my grandchildren.. i am creating my own personal web site: i still own a domain, and have access to some free web space ... so i will get my picture and name and bio up.

beckyboop

Amazing, I don't know who you are or how high you are/were in the borg, but I hope that when you reveal your name and others that it makes some kind of difference! I also hope so very much that you're right about the implosion of the borg. It does seem like the Catholic Church's woes are going to pave the way for the crumbling of the WT. I also agree that the time has arrived for people to start fighting back. I think we are in a very important time frame in the WT history--we will be the ones to really see a "GREAT CROWD" of people running out the front and back doors!!! I feel privileged to be here finally to read experience after experience of people FED UP WITH THE LIES!!! Thank you all for sharing!

28

Some Antis are just as bad as JW's

by DIM in

specifically i am talking about the "apostates" or antis who plaster cars or send people things in the mail with the truth about "the truth".

to me, this seems exactly like the jw's banging on doors on a saturday morning.

exactly the same thing, just from the other end.

beckyboop

Well all, this is my first "debate". I really enjoyed this topic because I wanted VERY BADLY to "do" something in the beginning myself--wear a t-shirt emblazoned with some bold saying against the WT to a convention, picket an assembly or meeting, go to a meeting and be disruptive in some clever way, print up misleading tracts using "their" covers but with revealing information inside--ANYTHING I could to make me feel empowered!

I think it's quite normal to have the feelings of wanting to fight back for all the hurts caused by the lies and deliberate misconceptions. And if some need to do that literally--more power to them. Online forums and hotline numbers were maybe created out of a feeling like that, and look at how many people that has helped! But I do think that acts like picketing or mailing people unwanted literature are not positive and are unwanted. And maybe at times do more harm than good; because as was said earlier, who of us as witnesses ever gave them the time of day.

But there is always the tiniest, remotest chance that SOMEONE will get curious--I'm just now realizing that I DID. I think a lot about other people (sometimes too much:)), and I can remember seeing picketers at some point (when I was in my early teens--I'm just starting to recover memories:O) and wondering "Why are they that upset to DO that?" We were always told they were "angry and bitter". Well, hell yes they were angry and bitter--they finally realized they'd been lied to! But seeing them started my THINKING process I guess all I'm trying to say is that while maybe some of the more blatant things like picketing can be more harmful; we still never know exactly to whom--even if it's only 1 person--something like that would appeal and maybe cause them to start THINKING FOR THEMSELVES!.

Now I'll just kindly step down off the soap box and turn the mike over to....

Thanks (esp. to Simon) for allowing us this grand opportunity to vent!

Becky

12

Desperately seeking someone from CT

by ShaleenT in

i am looking for df's or da'd jw's in ct. i have lost most of my friends due to this and am looking to make new ones.

please e-mail me at [email protected]

beckyboop

Hello Shaleen and Red Horse Woman (and anyone else)! I am living in Providence RI, and would love to meet anyone who lives close by. I have only lived here for 4 months. I'm originally from the Cincinnati, OH area. I was in the borg for about 30 years, out for about 3+. My email is listed, and would love to get together! Hope to hear from you!

Becky

53

Thoughts about Depression and Anxiety

by flower in

this is mostly directed to others that were born/raised in the cult.

more specifically those raised in the cult who also suffered from severe depression and/or social anxiety disorder or any other mental illness (other than the normal probs that come with being in the borg).

sometimes i wonder if its just me that doesnt feel like a person now.

beckyboop

Thanks for the welcome Mouthy (and everybody else)! It's a big step for me to be on here, and it's making a huge difference for me just reading all the experiences of everyone. By no means are we alone--and that thought is the most comforting of all.

Becky

53

Thoughts about Depression and Anxiety

by flower in

this is mostly directed to others that were born/raised in the cult.

more specifically those raised in the cult who also suffered from severe depression and/or social anxiety disorder or any other mental illness (other than the normal probs that come with being in the borg).

sometimes i wonder if its just me that doesnt feel like a person now.

beckyboop

Dear Flower,

My heart goes out to you! I've only been posting for 2 days, and I already feel like I'm getting to know the people on here--especially when I read their responses to experiences like yours. It is such a shock to read your words--because I too have felt the same way. I totally understand about not feeling like a real person, the crazy thoughts that run thru my mind every day. I've been out for about 3 years, but the aftermath of picking up a life that I never knew I could have is VERY, VERY difficult--as well as very scary!

I think the words that have helped me the most came from Steve Hassan's book, "Releasing the Bonds". He very emphatically states that you have to find your pre-cult self. That seems impossible if you are born into it--but I was too--my mother was baptized when she was pregnant with me. So I was even dunked twice, and it still didn't take!

All humor aside though, each small step you take, even if it puts you backwards for awhile, is a step forward (just like others have mentioned). The reason we say that is because even if you make a mistake, you can own up to it and say, "ok, I did that wrong this time, next time I'll try again a different way". That is how we separate from the borg in the best way--owning up to our mistakes.

I hope you can figure out even the little things you may have had interests in as a small child, and go from there. There are so many things you can do with your life, if you just try. There are so many different varieties of food, music, sports, exercises, movies, dances, people, animals, bugs--whatever floats your boat. There is no one to say you can't do anything except for you. But there is one caveat--you have to start somewhere--do something, try things, meet people, read stuff, go to a new restaurant/bar/club. Whatever you decide you like, do it! And if you try something and don't like it, move to the next thing!

I guess all I'm trying to say is what I think everyone is saying--YOU ARE NOT ALONE! We have all had similar fears, thoughts, and attitudes to hold us back, but we've kept plodding forward one step at a time--and here we are still. My life is by no means where I'd like it to be yet, but I keep moving forward. And I've found that by reading and talking with others with a similar background helps me the most (but I'm pretty people oriented by nature). I am very willing to email you more if you'd like, and feel free to email me if you need someone to vent to. Getting those thoughts out of your head will help you to understand them better anyway! My thoughts are definitely with you my friend!

Becky

32

Continued . . . My husband is stepping down -elder

by Prisila in

jw
friends

over a week ago i shared that my husband was stepping down as an elder last wednesday.. well, for all those inquiring minds that want to know, my husband's efforts were a total bust.

first he talked to one elder who adamantly refused to accept his resignation.

he encouraged and demanded that he stay.

beckyboop

Hi Prisila! My ex-husband and I went thru something very similar. He wanted to step down as a ministerial servant, and they said no! He went along with it for awhile, and then his brain got the better of him. He finally told them he was stepping down, and we faded. I recommend you figure out what you both want to do. It is not an easy road, but it does get better. We are now very amicable divorced, but I'm positive I needed to be married to him in order to get out. Remember though--you do not ever have to meet with the elders anywhere at any time if you don't want to. They tried (a little) with us, but I always said "if they show up at my door they will not be invited in!" It is actually pretty easy to fade now (although of course under varying circumstances), just because they don't seem to be as rabid. Our elders had enough info to df us (thanks to my little bro), but never tried or did. I hope I helped a little! Please email me if you'd like to talk more privately--it helps having people who've been there!

46

What Am I thinking?????

by butalbee in

with all the recent hog wash going on in my life, i can't believe i am even entertaining this notion.

everybody on this board knows how i feel about this path, these beliefs, and here i am thinking, pondering wondering, maybe jehovahs witnesses do have something to offer me, maybe i need their 'close nit' love inside their congregations?

maybe i could see the truth, if i only opened my eyes to it and tried to accept it???

beckyboop

Butalbee, I hope you can find the courage to stand up to your doubts and "what ifs". Please remember that you have been taught they have the answers for XX amount of years (I don't know your situation). The hardest part of leaving is realizing THEY don't have the answers--YOU do. It is your brain to do with as you like, and I hope you fill it with knowledge from all sources, not just the jw stuff. I'm sure if you've spent any time on here at all you will see the amount of research that many people have already done. I believe that each time you read something else, it kicks out the untruth you were taught before. In my case, I have to read things very slowly, so I don't feel like my whole world is tipping! Anyway, my 2 cents worth, and I'm always here if you need a friend!

46

What Am I thinking?????

by butalbee in

with all the recent hog wash going on in my life, i can't believe i am even entertaining this notion.

everybody on this board knows how i feel about this path, these beliefs, and here i am thinking, pondering wondering, maybe jehovahs witnesses do have something to offer me, maybe i need their 'close nit' love inside their congregations?

maybe i could see the truth, if i only opened my eyes to it and tried to accept it???

beckyboop

Reborn, I'm new here but I'll definitely back you up on this. I was born in and stayed til 30, I'm now 34. They counseled me about bringing the movie "Room with a View" to a party that had some young teenage girls. For those who haven't seen the movie, it had naked men in it and it showed, HORRORS! a penis! My best friend was counseled and removed as a pioneer for skinny dipping. If I think long enough, I'll come up with more.