Posts by beckyboop

58

My boyfriend proposed to me.

by Preston in

over dinner yesterday in a restaraunt my boyfriend proposed to me.

it was an unexpected moment for me on valentine's day.

didn't know what to expect.

beckyboop

((((((((((((((((((((Preston))))))))))))))))))))))

Congratulations! I can only imagine what you must be feeling right now. Facing a prospective marriage partner is thought-provoking indeed; and I'm sure even more so when you're gay.

Last Friday night I had my first invitation to a gay wedding between a long-time friend and fellow ex-jw with his partner of 4 years. Unfortunately, I was sick with some kind of sinus infection and couldn't go. I was very sad that I couldn't go and see my friend on his happy day.

However, I hope you know yourself enough now to figure out if you want to take this drastic step with your partner. You mentioned that he's the first you've seriously dated, and how fond of him you are and how sweet he is to you. Can you tell us more about your feelings? Do you have an open, honest, and trusting relationship? I look forward to hearing more about him.

Good luck with your decision. I always enjoy reading about others and their situations--we each have so much to learn from each other.

Becky

16

Would you offer Jesus a cigarette?

by Pleasuredome in

i know this is going to get some funny responses, but seriously this is a question thats been bothering me recently.

i could never win an arguement about why a christian shouldnt smoke, because someone would always say that alcohol is just as bad, which is true, and jesus drank alcohol.

so alcohol is addictive just like smoking.

beckyboop

Jesus, Valis and whomever else is so inclined, let's head to the backroom for a little sacriment...;)

Valis...we posted at the same time, but you still beat me...and it wasn't even 4:20. So when are ya heading to Rhode Island so we can share the local flavors?

Becky

16

Would you offer Jesus a cigarette?

by Pleasuredome in

i know this is going to get some funny responses, but seriously this is a question thats been bothering me recently.

i could never win an arguement about why a christian shouldnt smoke, because someone would always say that alcohol is just as bad, which is true, and jesus drank alcohol.

so alcohol is addictive just like smoking.

beckyboop

If I smoked ciggs, I probably would. But I'd prefer offering him a j....;) Seriously though, there are scholars who say that Jesus used cannabis--most likely in salves and "annointing oils". Which technically would make sense, as marijuana is less harmful (and possibly even beneficial) than cigarettes or excessive drinking.

Becky

14

New Hobby turns out to be great recovery

by LyinEyes in

jw
friends

the other nite , i was sitting listening to old music , and decided while i was listening, to go thru a box of photos i had under the desk.

these pictures are from many years to current , just not put in albums yet.. i decided , since i was feeling a little upset about something dealing with my oldest son, to dig up his baby pictures and when he was a kid.

as i was listening to the music and looking at these pics the flood gates of a mothers tears from her heart came pouring out, they hurt and they felt good at the same time.

beckyboop

((((((((((((((((((((((DEDE)))))))))))))))))))))))))

It's kind of funny sometimes, how much you and I seem so similar. I too have a great love of pictures, and they are very healing to me as well. I am a nanny, and gave the children I took care of albums of all the fun and exciting things we did. I ALWAYS get doubles of my prints so that I can give the other set away to friends and family as gifts.

I'm sorry that you were down about your son in the first place, but I'm glad you found a healing outlet. Isn't that what it's all about--finding a healthy release for our troubles? I think pictures are wonderful because they truly capture the moment in time, and then we can look back at all the happy times and remember/recapture the feeling.

I have thorougly enjoyed the picture thread here--and I think one of my favorites was of you and WT when you were teenagers. What a history the two of you must share!

Thanks for sharing--as always I enjoyed your post.

Love,

Becky

18

ONE year ago!

by Vivamus in

jw
friends

wow, today i suddenly realized just what day it was.

exactly one year ago, i decided i was no longer willing to be a witness.

january 17, 2002 was the first day i stopped praying to a god i no longer had any faith in.

beckyboop

Congratulations VIV!!! Isn't it great to be able to look back and see what we've accomplished after leaving? A year is a great milestone to reach, and the following years will be just as liberating. I just finished a letter to a friend who knows the religion is crap, but is at the in between stage. It's so hard to explain to her that it's worth all the stress on leaving--but it is. I hope she finds the strength to stick it out and find freedom.

Although I don't post often (I read more often than post), I noticed your posts almost as soon as I started in May. I have greatly enjoyed the various threads you've started, especially the picture thread. And even though it's been awhile since you're grandmother died, I just wanted to let you know how much I appreciated your words of love towards her. It really meant a lot to me because I was not informed by my own family when my grandmother passed away. They told me 3-4 weeks later!

Anyway, I hope you keep enjoying your new life of freedom. Hopefully my boyfriend and I will visit Amsterdam in June or July and maybe even get to meet you. I think we have some things in common...especially in the coffee shops. Until then,

Becky

11

Divorce advice anyone?

by FreeWilly in

longtime lurker and occasional poster here.

i pretty much have already made up my mind, but it seems like alot of good advice can be found here so here goes.... me and my soon to be ex-wife were active duds, rp's, bethel, etc.

we faded together and are now completely out.

beckyboop

First of all,

(((((((((((((((((((((((Free Willy and Stan Conroy))))))))))))))))))))))))

I doubt that any of us could say that the whole jw experience hasn't affected most of our relationships in varying degrees. But when it comes down to being partners with someone, then it REALLY affects us.

In some of my experiences, 1)my situation was unique in that my husband was gay, so after leaving the borg I knew that I just wanted us to be HAPPY--be it together or not. We are now divorced but still the best of friends because we are happier being our true selves. 2)friends dealt with the issue by allowing (after considerable talking and setting boundaries) an "open" relationship in order to deal with the feelings of not having experienced LIFE like most others do in high school and college. To date, he has had other experiences, and she still wants to but is concentrating on other areas of her life right now. IMHO, they have one of the most honest, open, loving, fun, and intimate a relationship I have seen between 2 people.

There are also countless negative experiences, where the couple is not honest with each other beforehand and one decides to experiment without the other's consent. There is no way to say how each couple who faces this will deal with it--but the common denominator seems to be HONESTY about what each partner needs, wants, fears, hopes, etc. If you can't talk openly about subjects that make you uncomfortable, then the result seems to be discontent which can lead to betrayal.

It seems that you need to figure out what YOU need--and how that relates to her. I'm not sure that sexual experiences should make or break a relationship--unless (like in Free Willy's case), someone has broken the trust BEFORE talking it out. I think we are all very sexual beings, and because we don't understand that very well, we tend to get ourselves in trouble. Just my thoughts based on a couple of my experiences. I hope you can keep us posted as to how things work out--good luck.

Becky

8

God and Religion - George Carlin

by Farkel in

jw
friends

warning: the following bits contain profanity, and to some, blasphemy.

to others like me, they contain only comedy and truth.. if you are easily offended, please skip this thread.. religion .

god.

beckyboop

Farkel,

You got that right! Cincinnati definitely is it's own racist entity--which is why I got the hell out finally. Oh well, I thought you might be someone I had met in the past.

Becky

4

Jesus 'healed using cannabis'

by Trauma_Hound in

.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/international/story/0,3604,869273,00.html .

beckyboop

TH,

I have also been reading some on the same subject--supposedly the oil used was about 8 or 9 pounds of cannabis in a couple of gallons of oil. I find the subject intriguing to say the least, and would like to purchase Chris Bennett's book on the same subject. The title is something like Sex, Drugs, Violence and the Bible. Apparently there is physical evidence of the widespread use at that time.

Thanks for posting this--what are your thoughts on it?

Becky

8

God and Religion - George Carlin

by Farkel in

jw
friends

warning: the following bits contain profanity, and to some, blasphemy.

to others like me, they contain only comedy and truth.. if you are easily offended, please skip this thread.. religion .

god.

beckyboop

Farkel,

My boyfriend and I love George Carlin--he can really drive the point home. We also enjoy Bill Hicks--although he died years ago. Do you like him as well? He has some great work on drugs, god, aliens etc. I also want to see the movie about Lenny Bruce, because I'm not familiar at all with his work, and he seems to be one of the leaders in controversial comedy.

I wanted to tell you how much I enjoyed your piece of music the other day--I'm no expert but thoroughly enjoyed your work--if that counts. By the way, have we met before in Cincinnati at a mutual friend's artist studio? I was newly out of the borg at that point.

Anyway, thanks for the humorous treat this evening.

Becky

26

Living together before marriage=promiscuous?

by Witch Child in

this is part of someone else's post;.

"we had a controversy recently related to this.

our last pastor (a great guy, a harvard grad and a ph.d.) said he would not marry persons with one address (they could live together and fornicate all they wished, they just could not flaunt it) and some condemned him for intolerance!

beckyboop

Nope--living together before marriage does NOT equal promiscuity, as the dictionary will prove. Living together is a choice we can make to get to know someone better. It doesn't work for everyone, but it does work very well for many others (as evidenced by the those who have posted their stories)--including myself.

I married as a witness and therefore didn't have the "option" of living with him beforehand. If I had, I'd have realized that he was gay. We were married for 8 years and did finally divorce. Fortunately, we still have a great relationship after divorce and I know that I needed to be married to him to get out of the borg. There aren't too many who can be THAT patient with me....

In my opinion (for ME), living together gives you the day in and day out 24/7 view of the other person (similar to having children vs. babysitting children). And although you CAN get to know someone very well through visits, calls, letters, emails etc.; there are some things you NEVER know unless you live with them. And if the other person has habits etc. that you simply cannot tolerate, you're up sh** creek if you're married when you figure that out.

Don't get me wrong--I realize that there are others whose past experiences or current belief system does not allow them to feel comfortable with living with someone before marriage. Thankfully, it sounds like most of us realize and respect the differing viewpoints and situations of others. I only know what worked and what didn't for ME--and I love sharing my experience as well as reading others'.

Becky