Posts by beckyboop

14

New Hobby turns out to be great recovery

by LyinEyes in

jw
friends

the other nite , i was sitting listening to old music , and decided while i was listening, to go thru a box of photos i had under the desk.

these pictures are from many years to current , just not put in albums yet.. i decided , since i was feeling a little upset about something dealing with my oldest son, to dig up his baby pictures and when he was a kid.

as i was listening to the music and looking at these pics the flood gates of a mothers tears from her heart came pouring out, they hurt and they felt good at the same time.

beckyboop

((((((((((((((((((((((DEDE)))))))))))))))))))))))))

It's kind of funny sometimes, how much you and I seem so similar. I too have a great love of pictures, and they are very healing to me as well. I am a nanny, and gave the children I took care of albums of all the fun and exciting things we did. I ALWAYS get doubles of my prints so that I can give the other set away to friends and family as gifts.

I'm sorry that you were down about your son in the first place, but I'm glad you found a healing outlet. Isn't that what it's all about--finding a healthy release for our troubles? I think pictures are wonderful because they truly capture the moment in time, and then we can look back at all the happy times and remember/recapture the feeling.

I have thorougly enjoyed the picture thread here--and I think one of my favorites was of you and WT when you were teenagers. What a history the two of you must share!

Thanks for sharing--as always I enjoyed your post.

Love,

Becky

18

ONE year ago!

by Vivamus in

jw
friends

wow, today i suddenly realized just what day it was.

exactly one year ago, i decided i was no longer willing to be a witness.

january 17, 2002 was the first day i stopped praying to a god i no longer had any faith in.

beckyboop

Congratulations VIV!!! Isn't it great to be able to look back and see what we've accomplished after leaving? A year is a great milestone to reach, and the following years will be just as liberating. I just finished a letter to a friend who knows the religion is crap, but is at the in between stage. It's so hard to explain to her that it's worth all the stress on leaving--but it is. I hope she finds the strength to stick it out and find freedom.

Although I don't post often (I read more often than post), I noticed your posts almost as soon as I started in May. I have greatly enjoyed the various threads you've started, especially the picture thread. And even though it's been awhile since you're grandmother died, I just wanted to let you know how much I appreciated your words of love towards her. It really meant a lot to me because I was not informed by my own family when my grandmother passed away. They told me 3-4 weeks later!

Anyway, I hope you keep enjoying your new life of freedom. Hopefully my boyfriend and I will visit Amsterdam in June or July and maybe even get to meet you. I think we have some things in common...especially in the coffee shops. Until then,

Becky

11

Divorce advice anyone?

by FreeWilly in

longtime lurker and occasional poster here.

i pretty much have already made up my mind, but it seems like alot of good advice can be found here so here goes.... me and my soon to be ex-wife were active duds, rp's, bethel, etc.

we faded together and are now completely out.

beckyboop

First of all,

(((((((((((((((((((((((Free Willy and Stan Conroy))))))))))))))))))))))))

I doubt that any of us could say that the whole jw experience hasn't affected most of our relationships in varying degrees. But when it comes down to being partners with someone, then it REALLY affects us.

In some of my experiences, 1)my situation was unique in that my husband was gay, so after leaving the borg I knew that I just wanted us to be HAPPY--be it together or not. We are now divorced but still the best of friends because we are happier being our true selves. 2)friends dealt with the issue by allowing (after considerable talking and setting boundaries) an "open" relationship in order to deal with the feelings of not having experienced LIFE like most others do in high school and college. To date, he has had other experiences, and she still wants to but is concentrating on other areas of her life right now. IMHO, they have one of the most honest, open, loving, fun, and intimate a relationship I have seen between 2 people.

There are also countless negative experiences, where the couple is not honest with each other beforehand and one decides to experiment without the other's consent. There is no way to say how each couple who faces this will deal with it--but the common denominator seems to be HONESTY about what each partner needs, wants, fears, hopes, etc. If you can't talk openly about subjects that make you uncomfortable, then the result seems to be discontent which can lead to betrayal.

It seems that you need to figure out what YOU need--and how that relates to her. I'm not sure that sexual experiences should make or break a relationship--unless (like in Free Willy's case), someone has broken the trust BEFORE talking it out. I think we are all very sexual beings, and because we don't understand that very well, we tend to get ourselves in trouble. Just my thoughts based on a couple of my experiences. I hope you can keep us posted as to how things work out--good luck.

Becky

8

God and Religion - George Carlin

by Farkel in

jw
friends

warning: the following bits contain profanity, and to some, blasphemy.

to others like me, they contain only comedy and truth.. if you are easily offended, please skip this thread.. religion .

god.

beckyboop

Farkel,

You got that right! Cincinnati definitely is it's own racist entity--which is why I got the hell out finally. Oh well, I thought you might be someone I had met in the past.

Becky

4

Jesus 'healed using cannabis'

by Trauma_Hound in

.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/international/story/0,3604,869273,00.html .

beckyboop

TH,

I have also been reading some on the same subject--supposedly the oil used was about 8 or 9 pounds of cannabis in a couple of gallons of oil. I find the subject intriguing to say the least, and would like to purchase Chris Bennett's book on the same subject. The title is something like Sex, Drugs, Violence and the Bible. Apparently there is physical evidence of the widespread use at that time.

Thanks for posting this--what are your thoughts on it?

Becky

8

God and Religion - George Carlin

by Farkel in

jw
friends

warning: the following bits contain profanity, and to some, blasphemy.

to others like me, they contain only comedy and truth.. if you are easily offended, please skip this thread.. religion .

god.

beckyboop

Farkel,

My boyfriend and I love George Carlin--he can really drive the point home. We also enjoy Bill Hicks--although he died years ago. Do you like him as well? He has some great work on drugs, god, aliens etc. I also want to see the movie about Lenny Bruce, because I'm not familiar at all with his work, and he seems to be one of the leaders in controversial comedy.

I wanted to tell you how much I enjoyed your piece of music the other day--I'm no expert but thoroughly enjoyed your work--if that counts. By the way, have we met before in Cincinnati at a mutual friend's artist studio? I was newly out of the borg at that point.

Anyway, thanks for the humorous treat this evening.

Becky

26

Living together before marriage=promiscuous?

by Witch Child in

this is part of someone else's post;.

"we had a controversy recently related to this.

our last pastor (a great guy, a harvard grad and a ph.d.) said he would not marry persons with one address (they could live together and fornicate all they wished, they just could not flaunt it) and some condemned him for intolerance!

beckyboop

Nope--living together before marriage does NOT equal promiscuity, as the dictionary will prove. Living together is a choice we can make to get to know someone better. It doesn't work for everyone, but it does work very well for many others (as evidenced by the those who have posted their stories)--including myself.

I married as a witness and therefore didn't have the "option" of living with him beforehand. If I had, I'd have realized that he was gay. We were married for 8 years and did finally divorce. Fortunately, we still have a great relationship after divorce and I know that I needed to be married to him to get out of the borg. There aren't too many who can be THAT patient with me....

In my opinion (for ME), living together gives you the day in and day out 24/7 view of the other person (similar to having children vs. babysitting children). And although you CAN get to know someone very well through visits, calls, letters, emails etc.; there are some things you NEVER know unless you live with them. And if the other person has habits etc. that you simply cannot tolerate, you're up sh** creek if you're married when you figure that out.

Don't get me wrong--I realize that there are others whose past experiences or current belief system does not allow them to feel comfortable with living with someone before marriage. Thankfully, it sounds like most of us realize and respect the differing viewpoints and situations of others. I only know what worked and what didn't for ME--and I love sharing my experience as well as reading others'.

Becky

24

What the WT took from me.. is it gone 4ever?

by LyinEyes in

jw
friends

i was raised jw, so i have nothing to go back to as far as belief.

the wt has been exposed to me as nothing but a bunch of lies, coverups, failed predictions, interpreting the bible to fit their teachings etc.

now i stand here,,,,,,,,,,,, with no belief system at all.

beckyboop

((((((((((((((((((((((((((DEDE))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

First off, here's a big hug to you! There are many here (including myself) who understand what you're going through. Although for me it was very confusing at times and still is, the best part is you are free to figure things out yourself!

I would like to suggest something, especially considering some of the comments here and because of our "biblical" background. If you decide that you are going to do some religion/spiritual/bible searching, please take the time to research the Bible THOROUGHLY before even considering any religion who uses it excessively. Once I found out that many books were written years after things happened (makes you wonder), how much the Catholic Church used it's influences (hmmmm...) in what was included, and that there are other accounts of people who met Jesus and weren't included in the Bible--I had to let those things sink in to be able to put the Bible into perspective. It really makes you start wondering about what was left out or changed to fit the Catholics ideas.

One thing that really helped me personally when I started asking other's about their belief's/religion--I always find out what happens if you disagree. Are you condemned to hell/earth, burned at Armageddon, kicked out, shunned, etc? I knew I didn't want to involve myself with ANY other group who tried to tell ME what I could/could not think/believe/do. The happiest part of my search was I did find groups like the Unitarians and Unity groups that accept people of all faiths and include the various beliefs in their teachings/sermons. For some reason (enter sarcasm), I always thought that NOBODY else is happy or could possible teach anything worthwhile other than the dubs.

Good luck to you in your search Dede--it's fun to be able to visit other churches, read any book I want about any other religion, and have fascinating conversations with all types of people about their beliefs without judging them or condemning them. I respect that others can believe in things that I don't agree with; at the same time I appreciate it when others respect me and my desire to learn. You may enjoy reading about Taoism, buddhism, and other Eastern ideas. They help fill a different void in each of us that the bible never filled for me. Keep us posted--I love hearing about what others are going through.

Love,

Becky

40

Thread for support of diet and exercise...tips

by LyinEyes in

last nite in chat i had a good time talking about different weight loss strategies and exercise.

i am trying to get myself in shape ,start walking and my diet is in need of a major overhaul.

what do you think is the best way to get in shape?

beckyboop

Lyin Eyes,

Blood type A's should be vegetarian--and those who aren't generally end up with their gall bladders removed because they can't process the meat well. I have good friends who maintain their weight very well when they eat mostly vegetarian, and supplement it with fish and occasional chicken or turkey. The best thing about it is how you feel--you feel like your body is actually working properly.

If you'd like to read more, you can usually find the books at your library, or local health food store. The first book is Eat Right 4 Your Type, the next is Cook Right 4..., and the 3d is Live Right 4...by Dr. Peter J. D'Adamo. His father (among others) did a bunch of research years ago, and he continued it with amazing results. He has a web site-- www.dadamo.com

Here's a couple of quick suggestions--foods that encourage weight gain are: meat, dairy foods, kidney beans, lima beans, and wheat (in overabundance). They interfere with your body's natural digestion process. Foods that encourage weight loss are: vegetable oils (olive, flaxseed), soy foods, vegetables, and pineapple. There's much more information and explanation that makes sense if you research it--hope this helps!

Love,

Becky

40

Thread for support of diet and exercise...tips

by LyinEyes in

last nite in chat i had a good time talking about different weight loss strategies and exercise.

i am trying to get myself in shape ,start walking and my diet is in need of a major overhaul.

what do you think is the best way to get in shape?

beckyboop

(((((((((((((((((((((LyinEyes))))))))))))))))))))))))

Thanks for such a great thread! I too eat for emotional reasons--and it sucks because food tastes good! I doubt I'd have a problem if there weren't so many good things to choose from. I also have a hard time getting motivated--mainly because I don't like to exercise alone. I definitely do much better when I'm in a class--I love belly dancing and water aerobics. It's a shame you don't live closer--because I need to start back up again. We have moved 3 times in the past year--so I can understand what you're going through.

I love all the suggestions given here, and I wanted to add my 2 cents worth. A few years ago I heard of eating according to your blood type. I have since done a lot of reading on it and have "tested" the various ideas. For instance, I'm blood type B, and I found out that chicken, corn, and wheat are not digested well by my body (causing weight gain) because of lectins found in those particular foods. Well, I LOVE chicken and corn (I used to eat 3 or 4 ears of corn or a can of cream corn for dinner). I decided to cut them out (except for rare occasions) and ended up losing about 50 pounds. I walked some and did a once a week water aerobics class and once a week belly dancing.

During the time I tried this, I asked around to find out more information. It turns out that almost ALL of my friends who are blood type A (which should be vegetarian), have had their gall bladder removed--because they were meat eaters. The whole premise is based on the idea that where our blood originated from and the foods our particular ancestors ate affect us today. It has been the most consistent and logical explanation as to why some diets (ie. Atkins etc.) work for some but not others. I've met vegetarians who were extremely sickly and unhealthy--because their bodies craved meat for fuel, or who even gained weight because they weren't getting the energy they needed from meat sources. Blood type O's should avoid potatoes because it causes arthritis--my mom's an O and has it bad in her hands.

Anyway, I don't mean to ramble--just though you might be interested. Feel free to email me if you have any questions (or just for moral support). I think that most of us could use support to eat better and take care of ourselves.

Love,

Becky