Posts by karategirl

4

Had a talk with my df'd friend

by freedom96 in

jw
friends

i have a very close friend that i have known for 20 years.

we both grew up as witnesses.

i faded away, and about 6 years ago, he was df'd.

karategirl

Good luck. you are right to take it easy though. It took me almost seven years to finally realize it was not the truth even though I had already realized that certain things could not be right. Such as the role of women.

It is so much to digest and admit it is not the truth. Many do spend years not going back and feeling like it is because they are not good enough even though deep down they know it is really because they are happier.

If ever there comes a day when he may think he needs to go back I hope he still talks to you. However, if he doesn't or things change, just remember that you were a true friend and that is what was important. If he wants he knows you are there.

KG

15

They are making me mental!

by CeriseRose in

jw
friends

no, not jws (although if i think too long about it, i'm sorely tempted to decorate my car a la christmas and park it at the kh during a meeting... *evil grin* ).

i belong to a 'non-religious' message board (have since 2001) that seems to have a large proportion of newly-arrived christians on it.

normally, i could care less if they're there; the topic is not religion, there's plenty of places to post that don't even smack of religion.

karategirl

Oh my god! you all are cracking me up. I totally make fun of that kind of talk no matter how blasphemous I sound. It is my secret little evil I guess. Feels good to admit it. I lived in the Bible Belt for a great number of years when I was a witness and even then I used to snicker when I went out in service at some of the fundamentalist conservative narrow minded judgmental fanatics we met at the doors.

During the campaign me and mysister couldn't stop laughing at all the Bush supporters who went around saying if you're a good Christian your vote can only be for Bush, God' s Candidate. I mean if God is backing him then why in the hell did he find it necessary to cheat in the last election? And if Bush is his candidate then why doesn't he help God's people instead of Caesar's pocket?

Ok maybe I went off the subject a little here. Blessed be. Go forth in good faith.

Stephanie

8

Christmas Family Reunion Tarnished by the Borg

by karategirl in

my mother died from breast cancer less than a year after my high school graduation.

right before her illness she had finally left my abusive step-father and was close to seeing the light about the borg.

then she got sick and the elders told her she needed to return to her husband or be out of jah's favor.

karategirl

Thanks guys. It just tears me up so because not only did the borg make my mom's life and ours a living hell but it allowed my poor sister to grow up without any love. She was five when my mom died. I was 19, I had her my whole childhood. She had to live her childhood with makeshift unattached mothers and an abusive father. My brother was with her but he isn't mom.

She won't even answer my phone calls now. Well, the rest of us are going to have a good time and enjoy every minute of it.

KG

8

Christmas Family Reunion Tarnished by the Borg

by karategirl in

my mother died from breast cancer less than a year after my high school graduation.

right before her illness she had finally left my abusive step-father and was close to seeing the light about the borg.

then she got sick and the elders told her she needed to return to her husband or be out of jah's favor.

karategirl

My mother died from breast cancer less than a year after my high school graduation. right before her illness she had finally left my abusive step-father and was close to seeing the light about the borg. Then she got sick and the elders told her she needed to return to her husband or be out of Jah's favor. Facing death and wanting to believe inthe resurrection, she reluctantly went back and then it was like she couldn't take it anymore. She gave up and let herself die. What should have taken six months took six weeks. She finally died actually from loss of blood, refusing a transfusion of course.

My step father had kicked me and my two sisters out of the house as we graduated and tried to say that we were rebellious horrible children. We were the only ones of our friends that never got in trouble or lived a double life. My eldest sister was a pioneer for christ's sake. Anyway, on mom's deathbed he apologized to us and told us he knew the abuse and horrible home life we had was all his fault and he was sorry. we forgave him wanting some closure and that was that. He took my little brother and sister, 5 and 10 years old and went on his merry way.

Within six months of her death I was df'd and one of my sister's was da'd. Neither one of us received any counseling or was even asked if we were repentant. The elders decided on their own and weren't taking no for an answer. Shortly after this my step father remarried and moved cross country with my brother and sister and I never heard from them again for eight years. I tried to keep contact for awhile but he moved a lot, just as he had when we were at home, running from his reputation and trying to hide his abusive ways. Found out he never gave them our messages or letters but told them they could talk to us if they wanted. So it looked to them that we didn't want to have anything to do with them which was completely wrong. In the mean time he never spoke of our mother to them and if we were mentioned it was to say how horrible we were as children and how he tried so hard to correct us and to no avail. Basically we were demon influenced sinners now that we were worldly. His new wife was never a mother to them and he had a couple of them over the years. You see they each left him and the borg because they couldn't take his abuse. One was even my age, yuck!!!

Finally, my brother left when he was 19 and called me to invite me to his wedding. It has been a slow and sparse relationship but we still talk for the last three years. He is now going to move by me this summer and attend college. Hope this means our relationship will grow stronger. My eldest sister finally left the borg around the same time my brother did. My youngest sister is still in but unbaptized. A year ago all she could think about was getting away from her father and getting out. We even looked into gettting her emancipated.

We were all supposed to be together this xmas for the first time in 12 years, all five of us. Now the youngest is going back to meetings even though she is away from her father and living with one of her former step moms(step dad is df'd after his last marriage failure and still wouldn't let one of my sisters take her). Can you believe him? That he can still be that cruel to not let her come to one of us. The step mom isn't even in the borg anymore! So she is going back because she is lonely. She is so smart and has so much potential for her future. Anyway the JWs told her that she shouldn't come because we are all apostates and celebrating xmas. I haven't seen my sister in 11 years!!!

I left her a message tonight and want to talk to her but not sure how hard to press or what to say. I am devastated and at a loss of what to do.

46

J.W. Congregation Cleared of Abuse Charges

by Kenneson in

jw
friends

.

the following article comes out of minnesota and is entitled "annandale church isn't liable in abuse suit.".

i'm off to work now, so don't have time to comment, but would like to post it before i leave.. http://www.startribune.com/stories/462/4655055.html

karategirl

If the WTS policy is that you have to have two witnesses before they can do anything then they did. Both women said he abused them. Isn't that two witnesses that can attest to his being a rapist/molester? Then he did it again. Isn't that more proof?

55

Before You Leave The Witnesses, You MUST Make New Friends!!!

by minimus in

jw
friends

my advice to anyone that is thinking of leaving the "organization" is to make friends (real friends) with people other than jehovah's witnesses.

the sad truth is that jws are only conditional "friends".

they will drop you like a hot potato if they think you want to leave.

karategirl

I unfortunately had been a good little dub and never lived a double life. didn't even make friends with the neighbors. of course we lived in an abusive household and so kept to ourselves anyway. right before I was df'd i had moved to a new congregation where there were no youth so didn't have any friends at all around. then i was df'd very abruptly and instantly cut off by my family that was still in. In fact they were the ones that told on me.

Well, made a few worldy friends right off the bat from work and unfortunately because we were young and caught up in a fast life, they stabbed me in the back. Then I met my husband, now ex, and he sucked me in for years. Since I had no support system while married to him and was cut off from my dub family, and my dad's family had always viewed us dub kids as the black sheep of the family (hush hush and don't talk about it, many uncomfortable moments at family reunions), I faired very badly for about 7 years. Very alone and in an abusive marriage.

At a certain point I moved back to Oregon. Had been gone for about ten years. Wound up in Portland. I knew I was home almost instantly. After finding a job and settling in my father visited me(was trying to build a relationship with my dad's family now, still trying). Unknowingly I had moved only two blocks from where my parents lived when I was born. Working at a store where they had shopped and went to the local hangout that they went to and was still there. It was so strange. Within months I had made the best friends that I have had in my whole life. Real people, good people. They helped me through some of the hardest times of my life and still deal with my crazy issues as a result of a life in a cult and an abusive family.

I feel in many ways that my Mother somehow led me here because she knew this is where I needed to be. She died a year before Ieft the organization. She was suffered so much and wanted to rest. Now that she has moved on I like to believe she now knows the truth and is happy to see that four of her five children have made their way out and are on the road to piecing it all back together.

This Christmas will be the first time in 12 years that all five of us will be together at the same time. I have only seen my brother twice in the last 11 years and have yet to see my little sister. The last time I saw her she was six. she is now 17. I cried uncontrollably for an hour after I found out we would all be together.

If you can, definitely form friendships before you leave.

Stephanie

22

Don Adams, WT president, in Slovenia

by izobcenec in

jw
friends

yes, he came to slovenia and gave a talk to about 1500 jw's as zone overseer.... .

here is the pic:.

.

karategirl

he definitely gets TMS points for using gestures for emphasis. Good JOB!!

33

Were You Afraid Of The Elders?.Did Ya Love Em?...What Was Your View of Them

by minimus in

jw
friends

i've heard of brothers and sisters saying that they have "prayed for the elders because they love them for their hard work and sacrifice".

i've also heard of how some in the congregation were petrified of the elders and of course, there were those that said they were either only men or that they were direct representatives of jehovah god himself.

karategirl

I wasn't afraid of them because I was one of the drones that never questioned as was labeled one of the "good youth" that didn't lead a double life. No, I was deathly afraid of my abusive step father who went on to become an elder years after I was df'd.

Funny, but I actually felt nervous around the higher up ones, ya know the POs, COs and the like. Like they were the freaking President of the United States or something. Especially the wealthy ones (which were many of them). See as a woman in the organization I already had low self esteem and felt inferior to such an important MAN. Almost like you wanted to put a scarf over your head just to talk to them.

Then there were the ones that you never could understand how they were elders because you knew how they treated their children and wives. I remember the perve that was on my first JC when I only got privately reproved. He asked so many details about exactly what me and my boyfriend did I thought he was going to start masturbating as we spoke. He wouldn't let up, "when he touched your breast was it over your shirt or did he slip his hand under your clothing and was that under your shirt but on top of your bra or did he unhook your bra too?" Seriously.

37

Good excuses for missing meetings and going out in service.

by frankiespeakin in

.

i know a lot of lurkers are probably looking for good excuses and would like a list they could refur to..

karategirl

Tell them you had pms cramps, most elders would turn red and walk away. Any reference to female functions is usally quite embarassing for them.

Another I used to use when I lived near Washington DC was that we were stuck in a traffic jam and didn't arrive home until almost 8:30. We would have only arrived for the closing song and prayer. We didn't want to distract anyone from paying attention so we read the Theocratic Ministry School guidebook in the car and discussed it. NOT!!

24

Do you know any JW's that were Disfellowshipped or Reprooved over 3 times?

by booker-t in

jw
friends

a girl i work with told me the other day that she is going to the elders and ask them to "reinstate" her for the 4th time.

i told her she must be out of her mind.

why would any jw go through all of that headache?

karategirl

I knew the son of an elder that was disfellowshipped for fornication and continued to live at home even though he was in his early twenties. Thus the family could still talk to him and be around him. After being reinstated he committed fornication with not one but two friends of mine but nobody told. Then he was disfellowshipped again for messing around with a worldly girl, someone caught him. This time he wasn't living at home, yet his family still associated with him on the sly. Including his pioneer mother, ministerial servant brother and elder father. He continued to boink my roommate and another girl without anyone knowing. He was reinstated again. I don't know what happened after that cause I moved and was disfellowshipped myself for, you guessed it, FORNICATION!!

This just shows that even elders still talk to their family, so bullshit to that rule too.

karategirl