Who do you turn to? 1.Do you go to your spouse? 2.What if the problem IS with your spouse, 3.do you talk to your parents, siblings, work associates, 4.doctor? 5. What if the problem is with your kids? 6.And the person you would normally go to is your spouse, but you disagree on how to handle the problem, then what?
Oh man lesson learned by me the hard way......what I'm about to tell you is opposite of what I did for years as a miserable married person and by the time I realized what a mistake I had been making it was too late the damage was done. So here goes lesson from the (hopefully) wiser, actually I can say wiser because in my new marriage (hope you caught that) I practice what I preach here:
1. Yes you go to your spouse, if you can't discuss every day problems minor or major with the person you share spit with whom can you talk to?
2. Refer to #1.
3. NEVER, NEVER, NEVER betray confidences, habits, annoyances, problems of any sort with family members or work mates not even your best girlfriend, it breaks the trust in the relationship. It's always one sided and think of how you would feel (betrayed) if your spouse did this to you! Beside as things go you usually patch things up with spouse and now your family members, friends and work mates know things about your spouse which will be very hard for them to forgive and forget. That is just wrong and a betrayal of the trust of the union! It's also wrong to burden other people with your problems when they have no power to make the change only the one you have the problem with has that power so the burden belongs soley to them to fix. Then they are just left knowing crapy stuff about you and your mate, sucks all around.
4. Doctor, yes! Professional help is the only person you should seek advise from, hopefully with your spouse along side.
5. Refer to #1. As a marital unit you should work together and find a common ground to solve problems for the good of the child involved. Too many times you are involved in a power struggle of I'm right you're wrong and guess who suffers, the child. It's not about who is right it's about working together to solve a problem with a win/win outcome. Get over yourself, you (ME) are usually the biggest problem.
6. Refer to #5.
I hope this helps I know it's a far greater feeling for me knowing the person I love most in the world who sometimes irritates me the most in the world is the person I can talk to about every thing under the sun and there are no judgements but an honest effort to be loving and considerate of each other.