Funny thing about fathers, particularly the jw version is that they have trouble seeing their daughters as adults. Forever daddies little girl.
So when daughter gets her own opinion, dad hits the roof, even to the point of cutting that rebellious daughter off. All a bit weird I reckon, kinda like jealousy.
This is so true. At least in my case. I remember asking my father questions as a little girl and he wouldn't answer them. He'd always ask me questions back, like, "What do you think it is?" "What do you know about it so far?" "How do you think that works?" It used to annoy me that he wouldn't just answer the questions, but I didn't realize at that young age what he was doing. He was teaching me to think for myself. Ironic that it's that very thing that led me out of the organization to begin with. I wonder sometimes if he realizes that.
I remember the fateful day when he kicked me out of the family home. He said to me with his teeth clenched and hands visibly shaking as his forefinger kept poking me in the chest, "You are nothing without me. You have no home, you have no money, you have nothing. You don't even have Jehovah. You'll never survive in this world without me. Remember that as you leave today. You are NOTHING without me." As I cried from those words, I remember thinking how terribly sad and pathetic he sounded when he said that. But out of spite and driven by my own pain, I was bound and determined TO succeed without him. Since that day, I've never moved back home, I've never asked for money, I've never relied on them for anything that binds me to them. Sometimes, I wonder if it doesn't hurt my father to see me succeed in my life without him. Sometimes I wonder if he's proud of me, but just too damn proud to say it.
Andi - who misses her old "daddy" when she was little.
