i am going to canada in may for a holiday and want to take some books to read.
i really like to read fiction that is set in the place i'm visiting and i'd also be quite keen to start getting in the mood before i go.
so i was wondering if there are keen readers out there who could point me in the direction of any great canadian novels - particularly anything set around the great lakes - superior, hudson, ontario,michigan, erie....any suggestions very welcome!
Jez
I'm not saying I dislike the form of the short story writing - I regard it very highly and enjoyed studying these for my English Lit exams, but I like to get my teeth into something long and tasty generally. However so much has been said about Alice Munro I feel I ought to have a read. Thanks for the push to do so!
Nina
some of you may know that my parents and whole family do not have any contact with me, apart from my dad who has provided his mobile number for "family business/emergencies".
i never try to contact them anymore after a negative experience after being beaten up trying to break up a streetfight last november when i called my dad and he hung up as soon as he realised it was me crying on the other end.. .
anyway - i decided that just because they want to forget about me i don't have to be the same anymore and i wanted them to know how happy i was.
CYP - thank you for your pm also which I will answer from a speedier connection at work.
It is what I do with my wife. I try not to take it personally. It is awfully hard. Have you ever given any thought to trying to help some of them leave?
I really feel for you - you are new to this situation and in the unique situ of trying to get new initiates out. You are the opposite dimension to me, but that has definitely grabbed my interest. I remember just how many youngish mothers (many of which if not all were in the armed forces and very lonely) became bible studies of my mother, when i was a little girl. Most of them became baptised JWs despite objections fronm their husbands.
As for trying to help hem to leave, my parents and sisters, who are all that is left of my family really. My grandparents both died without me being able to talk to them,. I have posted on another board a defence of why I won't or can't do more. But if I were to rescue my parents it would be like taking life away from them. They have no outside friends, no home, no pension, no life insurance - they have lived expecting the new order to negate the need for any of these things. They really didnt expect me to make my 13th birthday without it beginning. I can show this with a small example.#
When I was 9 they asked all the girls at school (when I was still allowed to attend) to have a rubella jab - this would protect us from contracting German Measles whilst pregnant if we had not already had it and most of us in my class hadn't. I didn't go to school that day, I spent the day preaching because my parents were quite sure I would never reach an age where I would be able to get pregnant beforet he new system arrived. Well I have now been of an age to be pregnant for 17 years. If I were to I would have to be very careful not to be near a child who had not been vaccinated. My parents REALLY believed the close proximity of Amrageddon and still do. That was after my father, not a pre generation witness, had been baptised for 11 years. Now he has been their all my life plus 2 or 3 years. If they were persuaded to leave both having ocupied self employed cleaning jobs all the of the last 3 decades I think they would die.
So yes I would like to help but am not sure how I can. This was my first message to help them, to show them I can and am happy now I am released, but it has taken all my life to get this far.
Really appreciate evryones comments so much, I cannot say.
some of you may know that my parents and whole family do not have any contact with me, apart from my dad who has provided his mobile number for "family business/emergencies".
i never try to contact them anymore after a negative experience after being beaten up trying to break up a streetfight last november when i called my dad and he hung up as soon as he realised it was me crying on the other end.. .
anyway - i decided that just because they want to forget about me i don't have to be the same anymore and i wanted them to know how happy i was.
Thank you diamond blue - I didn't think my circumstances extreme though, although anyone who knew my parents would say they were hardline but they are only following prescriptive rule, but I do sense not all parents, even those who are elders are not always quite so strict if they can get away with it.
clementine
if one day they have doubts, they will need someone like you, who had never judged them, but always loved them...
that is exactly my hope and intention in sending that message. I hope also that it would somehow get to my sisters although I suspect my dad would not have told my mum, let alone my sisters.
And tijkmo - well done - I hoped that was your intention following on from your post re the elders visit! Its very easy to think that we have to hide and feel ashamed, but I don't feel ashamed at all now. I'm not perfect and I have broken lots of rules (see my new biography) but I don't think they were wrong in the sense of hurting someone else. It was part of my learning experience. And the best thing I can do is not ring them when I am drunk and unhappy, that only confirms to them they are doing the right thing. I must be soooo slow that it has taken me this long to reach this point. I feel pretty chuffed with myself though!
I sent their anniversary card today too as their wedding anniversary is this week - I resisted (just!) commenting that I now celebrate all joyful human events that mark an achievement, whether it be reaching another year of life or reaching another year of marriage. But the card already had a message pre-printed which I hope they think on. It said along the lines of "I hope you spend another celebration surrounded by friends and family" and I'm sure they'll remember all the very happy anniversaries, which our family spent like birthdays and christmas - my parents gave us presents and we all gave each other presents and had our favourite meals together.
And do you know what I was just thinking maybe birthdays were celebrated back into pagan times because human mortality was so short compared to today. It WAS an achievement to make it into your 30's!
some of you may know that my parents and whole family do not have any contact with me, apart from my dad who has provided his mobile number for "family business/emergencies".
i never try to contact them anymore after a negative experience after being beaten up trying to break up a streetfight last november when i called my dad and he hung up as soon as he realised it was me crying on the other end.. .
anyway - i decided that just because they want to forget about me i don't have to be the same anymore and i wanted them to know how happy i was.
Some of you may know that my parents and whole family do not have any contact with me, apart from my dad who has provided his mobile number for "family business/emergencies". I never try to contact them anymore after a negative experience after being beaten up trying to break up a streetfight last November when I called my Dad and he hung up as soon as he realised it was me crying on the other end.
Anyway - I decided that just because they want to forget about me I don't have to be the same anymore and I wanted them to know how happy I was. But also I realise I have fitted the pattern they expect of unhappy depressed exJW whenever I have had contact, which has only been through text messages and my odd phone call, which invariably is terminated the other end when they know it is me.
So on my birthday, last Tuesday, I bit the bullet and sent a text to me dad, which read like this:
"Dad and Mum, thank you for bringing me into this world 30 years ago today. I am so hapy,genuinely. I miss you everyday, especially today, but I have found joy and satisfaction. I love you and any time you would be wiling to talk to me I am here with open arms, heart and with hugs for you. Thank you, your Nina xxx".
What do you think? Was it the right thing to do, given I know they don't celebrate birthdays and neither did I until the last few years? But I know they have to remember the day of the birth of their oldest child, patyicularly when it comes so close to the memorial! Of course a week on there has been no response and I don;t expect ne. Has anyone else tried contacting their loved ones who shunned them and ever had a positive response or otherwise?
she totally flipped out.
all i was trying to do was find some mutual respect for my decision but she started smacking, punching, pushing me.
soon after, she threw the biggest tantrum and it disgusted me to see her acting in such a manner.
drunken pikachu
A terrible experience for you to have to go through. Are you able in anyway to at least tell her before she shuns you some important reasons for doubting the authority of the Borg. Even if she doesnt listen she may hear and think about what you say in years to come when she misses you and her self-righteous indignation defaltes.
Whattruth you made some excellent points:
She kept asking me what was so great about this old world that I was willing to die for it.
I could particularly empathise with this - i remember being asked that and not having the courage to say why that I had decided that death at 17 or 18 and a short life lived to the full was better than an eternity in their so called paradise.
I can also relate to the tales hear of mums gone mad. I believe mine had a mental or nervous breakdown when I left at 16, but as leaving the religion also meant I had to leave home I wasn't their to see most of it. I thought my mother was of a particularly nervous disposition but I can see that in fact from the other stories here it is quite typical.
Let us know how things go and definitely if any threats are made against your girlfriend you will have to get the police involved. Surely your mother and grandmother realise that this would be unscriptural. But also if you reported her overdose to the elders that would be grounds for disfellowshippng. I should know as the terrible pressure and grief at losing my family at 16 led me to take an overdose too. And I was disfellowshipped for attempted self-murder amongst other things. So it does happen for real. But also surely a violent attack on her son could not now be considered using the rod and would be certain grounds for reproof I would have thought.
hugs,
crumpet
i am going to canada in may for a holiday and want to take some books to read.
i really like to read fiction that is set in the place i'm visiting and i'd also be quite keen to start getting in the mood before i go.
so i was wondering if there are keen readers out there who could point me in the direction of any great canadian novels - particularly anything set around the great lakes - superior, hudson, ontario,michigan, erie....any suggestions very welcome!
Now thats more like it folks!
Thanks for all the suggestions - I got some book tokens for my birthday so I will invest them in some of your suggestions. I'm going to look them all up on Amazon and see which suit my reading tastes now that I have so many to choose from!
Thanks Talesin and Snowcanuck (welcome to the board by the way!) for your mutual Hugh MacLennan suggestions. Talesin, I have read Fall On Your Knees and all of the Anne of Green Gables Series, but somehow forgot they were set around Canada. Both rate amongst my top 20 ever reads! As for Farley Mowat - I've never come across his name. I think Whale for the Killingmay be more my thing as I don;t usually read non fiction, at least not for leisure - although I am intrigued now that you say it will make me cry so I might get this one!
Scotsman - I actually got given No Great Mischeif by Alistair MacLeod by my boyfriends mum about two years ago so I am definitely going to read it now.
Walter - thanks for the invite for a meet up but my boyfriend has been a bit unhappy about me making any plans to meet people from the boards so I'm holding off until he feels a bit more chilled about it.
Fe203girl - Of course Margaret Atwood - how could I forget. I've read quite a few of hers but not some of the older stuff like the Handmaids Tail - although not sure if that is actualy set in Canada or not.
Peppermint - that link is brilliant - thank you.
I saw two mentions of Robertson Davies but I can't remember by whom now so I will look him up.
Jez - what are Atom Egoyan films? Is he a director? I've often been tempted to Alice Munro by other recommendations but am put off by them being short stories.
Anyway - really appreciated your very literate suggestions guys. Thank you!
i finally figured out why i'm so socially retarded...it just hit me.. here i was sitting and wondering why i have such a hard time meeting new people, making friends, thinking of relevent things to say, and so on.
it really is painful and scary for me.
i was told who i could talk to, who i couldn't talk to, what i could say, what i couldn't say.
And it is the social event of the season!
Merry no it isn't!
My birthday is! And I'd like everyone to have a piece of cake and join me for a glass of champers.
i am going to canada in may for a holiday and want to take some books to read.
i really like to read fiction that is set in the place i'm visiting and i'd also be quite keen to start getting in the mood before i go.
so i was wondering if there are keen readers out there who could point me in the direction of any great canadian novels - particularly anything set around the great lakes - superior, hudson, ontario,michigan, erie....any suggestions very welcome!
You bunch of illiterates! Maybe if I said Great AMERICAN Novel there would be more replies! LOL!
Handkerchiefs are fine as long as they are not used to conceal the sin of onanism - socks must still be used for this purpose until new light is shed on the matter.
i am going to canada in may for a holiday and want to take some books to read.
i really like to read fiction that is set in the place i'm visiting and i'd also be quite keen to start getting in the mood before i go.
so i was wondering if there are keen readers out there who could point me in the direction of any great canadian novels - particularly anything set around the great lakes - superior, hudson, ontario,michigan, erie....any suggestions very welcome!
I am going to Canada in May for a holiday and want to take some books to read. I really like to read fiction that is set in the place I'm visiting and I'd also be quite keen to start getting in the mood before I go. So I was wondering if there are keen readers out there who could point me in the direction of any great Canadian novels - particularly anything set around the great lakes - Superior, Hudson, Ontario,Michigan, Erie....Any suggestions very welcome!
