Posts by formerout

47

Somebody- Please Help Me UNDERSTAND?

by upside/down in

i understand there is a ton of anger out there toward the wts and dub's, and rightly so... what i don't understand is this notion that there is an evil conspiracy on the part of the wts and dubs as individuals to subjugate and control the unwary (or however you want to label us) for some evil sinister purpose.

i know what they are doing and agree it's wrong but to what purpose- i mean you can look at televangelist and see what's up with them (follow the money).

but what's up with the dub's.

formerout

u/d,

It is hard for me to believe that no individuals at high rank have come to understand that fantasy -what with all the exposure they have had in the past 20 years. But, collectively - no, I think they are just the mislead, misleading the mislead!

I tend to lean towards this sort of reasoning. Not all people's egos are driven by money. A lot of dubs get off on the power that they wield within that organization. A lot of others get off on how great they are at being in subjection to others.

Their whole structure is designed to facilitate those needs. But really, what came first the chicken or the egg? A lot of people stay even though they believe it's hogwash just because it's easier to do so.

The problem that I have with the org. is that this structure is so strongly enforced. Combine that with the fact that support is given to the members unquestionably and the result is what has been exposed more and more recently: NOT ONLY DO THEY PROTECT DYSFUNCTIONAL PEOPLE BUT THEY BREED THEM AS WELL.

Brad

39

Does being a JW damage some children mentally?

by Gill in

jw
friends

formerout

Yes, Yes it does. I am living proof of it.

However, all things being relative, after we have acknowledged our "quirks" or "dysfunctional ways" we are also able to heal. IMO, we are also able to realize to an even greater extent the freedom that we have now.

The old saying, "I do not miss what I haven't got" is also true the other way around. "When we realize what we have been missing, we embrace it more fully than those who have never missed it."

My two cents,

Brad

50

What Is Your Biggest Regret Because You Were a Jehovah's Witness?

by minimus in

jw
friends

growing up as a witness makes it nearly impossible to deal with the "world", as a child.

constant pressure is put on witness kids to conform.

most lead a "double life" out of necessity.

formerout

Not being able to play organized sports. Ironically, I was allowed to compete in individual events like track and field up to a certain level. Then when I qualified for the higher levels of competition it was cut off from me.

Once, in Grade 5 I forged my dad's signature in order to be allowed to go to the next level. The guilt got the best of me though and I performed way below my personal best.

But the organized sports thing was the worst. I was one of the best at each sport even though I only played them at recess. If I had of had any coaching I probably could have gone somewhere. Even if not, I would have been a more socially well-adjusted kid. Bummer!!

Brad

8

I'm looking for a specific Watchtower quote, please.

by formerout in

for any who are unaware, i am going through a custody battle with my ex-wife.

despite the fact that she stopped attending about 8 years ago and hates the jw religion, she has been encouraged by her pioneer mother to use every jw trick in the book.. i was on the www.freeminds.org site last nite, reading the "theocratic warfare" section.

i only got about a third of the way through it and didn't find yet what i was looking for.

formerout

BTTT

38

How rebellious did you get after leaving?

by JH in

jw
friends

after leaving a controlling sect, it?s normal to want to live ?freedom?.

what did you do to show that you were no longer under the influence of the watchtower?

did you grow a beard, start having sex with whoever, start drinking, start gambling?

formerout

Well, since I got df'd a couple of months before my marriage for having sex, the only thing that changed there was I never felt quite as guilty the last 100 times or so. teehee

I was already drinking quite a bit... don't all JW's? No change there either.

I don't like beards.. too itchy. No change there either.

I still think gambling is silly. No change there.

Honestly the only thing I really did that I considered "rebellious" was that I started playing all kinds of organized sports. For shame.... I'm still being such a bad, BAD man!!....lol

Brad

8

I'm looking for a specific Watchtower quote, please.

by formerout in

for any who are unaware, i am going through a custody battle with my ex-wife.

despite the fact that she stopped attending about 8 years ago and hates the jw religion, she has been encouraged by her pioneer mother to use every jw trick in the book.. i was on the www.freeminds.org site last nite, reading the "theocratic warfare" section.

i only got about a third of the way through it and didn't find yet what i was looking for.

formerout

For any who are unaware, I am going through a custody battle with my ex-wife. Despite the fact that she stopped attending about 8 years ago and hates the JW religion, she has been encouraged by her pioneer mother to use every JW trick in the book.

I was on the www.freeminds.org site last nite, reading the "Theocratic Warfare" section. I only got about a third of the way through it and didn't find yet what I was looking for. It may be there but I haven't had time to go back to read the rest (kids with me this weekend).

I remember reading a very specific quote from a JW publication years ago that shocked me. It was an article regarding a JW parent and a non-JW parent separating and going to court for custody.

The essence of what it said (or at least what I took from it) was that since it was automatically better for the child to be with the JW parent in order for them to survive Armageddon, the JW parent should use very specific tactics to "win" the court case. I seem to remember them saying to stay calm, so that they can look better than the other parent and therefore win over the Judges. It also gave other advice.

From what I can remember about what was going on in my life was that it may have been about 1993-1995. When I go to court next Friday, if things aren't going well, (although my ex has done enough crazy stuff that I shouldn't need it) I would like to have that quote or a similar one as a last resort to let the Judge see how morally different we are as to who she can believe more.

The reason it shocked me years ago (as I was leaving the borg), was that I still found it hard to believe that they said NOTHING about who was the better parent for the kids in everyday life... naive I know.....lol. Since they feel that they should play God with our kids, I would gladly play Ghandi in order to make it even.

Thanks in advance for your help,

Brad

12

When you're broke! Tricks (legal) to make quick cash.

by formerout in

jw
friends

this is not just a curiosity question.

this a real-life scenario... unfortunately mine.

i have not pulled a brownboy thing, but i used to be on as outbutnotdown (lost password and was registered on expired email account).

formerout

This is not just a curiosity question. This a real-life scenario... unfortunately mine.

I have not pulled a BrownBoy thing, but I used to be on as outbutnotdown (lost password and was registered on expired email account). I have asked Simon to link me up with my old account if possible, but I haven't gotten a response yet. I'm not complaining... just didn't want anyone to think I am using multiple accounts.

So, if any have read my outbutnotdown posts, you will know that I am fighting my ex-wife for custody of my kids. I'm representing myself. Out of neccessity only.

My ex moved about 35-40 minutes away, (against the Court Order) so if I want to see my kids this weekend I have to go pick them up. I put $10.00 out of my last $12.00 in the tank. I will receive money on the 15th, but I have literally been returning a few milk jugs for a refund to get by.

I don't want any pity...it'll be cleared up soon, but...

Does anybody have any tricks on how to make some quick cash, LEGALLY?

Any help would be appreciated. Plus some examples might give me a much needed laugh, even if I can't use them. Thanks.

Brad

140

The WTBTS's proactive steps at preventing child molestation.

by formerout in

brobennett, you made this comment in another post:.

breeding pedophiles are more common in other religions since they are kept in circulation and not taken out of the religion.

by the way, brobennett, do you have kids?.

formerout

Well what can one Jehovah's Witness do about changing the whole two witness rule along with the head of the family rule?

BroBennett,

There is no sarcasm in this post despite that some of my other posts have been very strong in their replies to you. I applaud you as well for asking that question. Not to be rude but is the first great question you have asked.

I agree with OldSoul. Trust that you know what's better for the kids than an organization that is slow at changing the rules they make. People like Bill Bowen, who stood up under adversity and fought for the kids, have made the WTBTS begin to change their stance a little bit. All here wish it could be quicker but it is at least getting them to realize they have to adapt.

What if there was one Bill Bowen in every hall? What if you start to question it? You are the most capable person at changing them. It's a long slow process but the rewards are great!!

Again BroBennett, I applaud you for asking the question. I pray that you will keep that question in your mind, even if you don't feel comfortable yet in taking any big steps at exposing how their rules hurt kids. Getting that question to come out was the first step, keeping it there is the next....all else will follow.

Brad

140

The WTBTS's proactive steps at preventing child molestation.

by formerout in

brobennett, you made this comment in another post:.

breeding pedophiles are more common in other religions since they are kept in circulation and not taken out of the religion.

by the way, brobennett, do you have kids?.

formerout

BroBennett,

But that is why a proactive aproach is needed and that the family is able to show the children right and wrong.

Does a one-year-old know that a stove will burn him? No! We put up gates at the kitchen door so that he doesn't come into the kitchen when the stove is on. If a parent doesn't take this preventative measure and then burns his child with a pot of hot water from the stove, is he absolved of his responsibility by saying, "I told him not to come into the kitchen?'

Does a four-year-old know that it is not right for someone to touch them in certain places? No!! (Unfortunately some do know that, but usually only becasue it has happened already to them.) If an organization tells the man that he is the head of the household and does nothing more to PREVENT his children from his own dysfunctional self, does that absolve the organization who taught him he was the God of his family. NO!!!!!

Simple point, BroBennett. Why does everybody else get it but you don't? If I may be so bold to say so, it is because of what you have proven over and over on this thread: You believe that your religion is right and we (everybody not a JW) are wrong. It is not that simple.

Brad

Edited to add BroBennett's quote.... sorry forgot to add it the first time..

140

The WTBTS's proactive steps at preventing child molestation.

by formerout in

brobennett, you made this comment in another post:.

breeding pedophiles are more common in other religions since they are kept in circulation and not taken out of the religion.

by the way, brobennett, do you have kids?.

formerout

BroBennett,

the subject of child abuse will never be an easy topic to discuss and it should be kept in the family,

Happy Guy already made a comment on this but this one is as much a revelation of the ignorance that has been brought upon you by the WTBTS that it desrves being repeated.

How many of these posters here have said that it has been Mom, Dad, Uncle etc. that are the ones responsible for the abuse. Therein lies the problem: Your religion teaches that the man is the head of the household. When they make absolute rules like that, these "heads of the household" are allowed, by your own religion's belief structure, to practice these actions undetected until AFTER THE FACT. That is NOT PROACTIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Doesn't that sink in. Admit that your religion's own rules contribute to the problem. Change the rules and we wouldn't be disagreeing with you so much. Yet your replies are that your religion is the one true religion. No it's not. This stupid rule would not be in place if it was.

Brad