2evil,
Welcome to the board. Hopefully you will find what you are looking for here.
I'm not a former elder or even a MS. But I also have a wife that has been a JW for many years. She also believes most of what they teach, although she sees some problems. She would never look at this board either.
I agree with you that the UN thing is not that big an issue. I think the WT joined to make expanding their preaching into other areas of the world easier. Being affiliated with the UN gave them some credibility.
I don't think the witnesses are all bad. I think some individual witnesses are sincere and are guided by Jehovah's Holy Sprit. I also think many other religions have individuals guided by Jehovah's Holy Spriit. I don't think Jehovah works exclusively through any one organization. It seems to me that an individuals relationship to Jehovah, or at least as importantly, an individuals relationship with Jesus is the most important thing.
I understand what you mean when you talk about experiences with the Holy Sprit. I know I've felt that power before. But to be honest, I've never felt the Holy Sprit at a meeting at the Kindom Hall. I've never felt that power during a public talk or a Watchtower study. I've felt that power more when approching Jehovah in prayer and asking for his help, in a small group or just as an individual praying for God's Sprit.
I hope you understand what I'm talking about. To someone that has no faith, I might sound crazy. But for those of us with faith, we understand the power of God's Holy Sprit.
One thing that does bother me is that it seems to me that a lot of times, when people come to realize the WT society is not the "truth", they not only lose faith in the WT but also in God. It is so hard for former witnesses to seperate God or Jehovah from the WTBTS.
I'll pass along some advice. Don't concentrate on just the negative issues you can find about the WT. Read material from other sources that have nothing to do with former witnesses. I have found I enjoy reading positive books by all sorts of Christian writers. One of my favorites lately is John Maxwell. He writes books on leadership. He approches things from a Christian perspective, but his books are not just for Christians. One of his quotes that I like is: "If you read my books, and The Bible, you could get into heaven." Kinda funny!!
Good luck in you journey.
BF