you'd think i'd know, but is the memorial tonight?
my son (he's 12) usually goes with my jw mom on the weekend, but she asked to get him today since he's out of school on easter break.
grr, i am thinking now she's doing this for the memorial.
Help! You'd think I'd know, but is the memorial tonight? My son (he's 12) usually goes with my JW mom on the weekend, but she asked to get him today since he's out of school on Easter Break. Grr, I am thinking now she's doing this for the memorial. I was thinking it was next week, but I guess I am wrong. Someone please set me straight! (even thought it may result in the strangling of my mother)
red
i posted here a bit a while back.
quick background- df-ed when i was 21 (10 yrs ago), left the jw's as a single mom with a 3 yr old son.
jw mom helped me raise him for the first few years, so my departure was a sticky family mess.
Wow, thanks so much for all of the insight/advice. I needed a reality check and I certainly got it by coming back here. As of yet, I still haven't heard a peep from my mother and I've decided the ball is in her court. I'm going to let her make the next move, whatever that may be. Oh, and it was my husband that made me see how wrong the whole situation is. He's good at giving me wake-up calls about not letting her railroad me with her JW ways.
Scully~ you hit the nail on the head with everything you said. I am guessing you have some experience in this department.
Did your Mom have any idea this was building up or was she blind sided?
She was definitely blindsided. Sadly, it's taken me this long to grow a backbone, lol.
From what I got from what you wrote, you didn't say your mother can't see him or spend time with him, just that he can't have a dinner with the rest of the family that shuns you. How did she come to that conclusion?
No, I never said anything about their relationship together. I made it quite clear I would never do anything to interfere with that. I am thinking it's just a guilt tactic. My mother is notorious for this twisted kind of reasoning.
It will be interesting to see what happens. My feeling is that she'll call in a week or so and pretend it all never happened. Regardless, I am not going to back down and quite frankly, she should consider herself lucky that I'm not drawing the line with her spending time with him altogether.
Thanks again for the support!
Red
i posted here a bit a while back.
quick background- df-ed when i was 21 (10 yrs ago), left the jw's as a single mom with a 3 yr old son.
jw mom helped me raise him for the first few years, so my departure was a sticky family mess.
Hi all . . . I posted here a bit a while back. Quick background- df-ed when I was 21 (10 yrs ago), left the JW's as a single mom with a 3 yr old son. JW mom helped me raise him for the first few years, so my departure was a sticky family mess. Since then, my mom sees my son every weekend for the most part- an arrangement that they are both happy with. I know she doesn't push JW info on him, so I have no problem in that department.
Ok, on to my issue. I am now married, my husband and daughter being roped into their shunning issues. I've admittedly never had much of a backbone when it comes to standing up to my mother, we just all went about our separate lives and I left well enough alone. Well, my mother calls this past Friday and requests to have my son for a large family dinner tomorrow night (not totally out of the ordinary). Something just finally snapped and I told her no . . I told her my family comes as a unit and I am no longer going to condone her and the family's shunning practices. I do not want my son to grow up thinking that treating ANY family member like dirt is acceptable. I am not going to have him sit at a 'family' dinner without the rest of his immediate family. Well, she was just speechless at first. Then she took the stance that I must be trying to turn her grandson against her, hung up on me, and continues to refuse my calls. Regardless of my personal feelings toward her and the JW's, I have no intention of turning my son against her. He's 12 and I doubt I could have the effect even if I tried. If she truly backs away, my son will be devastated. I am so tired of feeling walked on due to this religion, but now I'm wondering if I took it too far. On the other hand, I wonder if the silent treatment is just an attempt at her old guilt tactic. UGH. I can't believe at 31 years of age, I am letting myself still get worked up over this BS.
If you made it this far, kudos and thanks. Any input or advice would be invaluable.
Red
do you miss not getting that phonecall or that announcement?
I wish I had thought to lie about my time, lol. Heck, I lied about everything else, why not.
we just took ours down last night!
the first "after-wts" year that we celebrated christmas, i left everything up until the 7th of january!
it doesn't seem like we've enjoyed them long enough!.
Yep, we still have everything up. Our tree is dropping needles like crazy, though, so we have to get rid of it soon.
the horrific scenes from se asia we have seen on tv over the past week will have an effect one way or another on many jws.
yes, the hardliners will see this as a part of the prelude to armageddon; "famine and earthquakes in various places".
(mat 24) this sort mentally dismisses the unequalled loss of human life, reasoning that most of these would have died at armageddon anyway.
I'd like to see it open eyes, but I'm afraid that it will only cloud their thinking even further. It's amazing what that mindset/mentality has you programmed to overlook. I could not fathom praying for a worldwide scale of that destruction. It seems genuinely heartless.
.
this guy needs a friend...and a life.
definitely a few fries short of a happy meal.. http://www.flyinhi.freeservers.com/.
I wasn't so impressed with his views on women, he all but said they belong barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen. What a nut-job. I'm torn between feeling sorry for him and thinking he's in the right place.
...on the phone.
should i have told her that "satan is the god of good and bad luck"?
hehe.
Yikes, I think I'd have fallen off my chair if my mom said that to me!
.....a marriage mate, a mate to come into the "truth", "new light", etc........?????
?
Prayed for a husband, funny how I didn't get that until I left.
yesterday, i went to visit my friend, who is the jw that i was studying with and i told her about the problems i had had with the other congregation i had been in before.
i told her about how they had treated me not so very nice and how i had a terrible time, then quitting cigaretts.
i wasn't able to quit smoking back then, although i have since quit about 3 years now.
After watching my now-husband quite smoking, I will never again make a judgement against those who can't break the habit. It is a physical addiction and godly love has nothing to do with it IMO. That comment would have irritated me as well, I can't blame you for being upset. Congrats, though, on being able to kick it altogether! No small accomplishment!
