I personally don't know any women, married or otherwise who wear daisy dukes so short their butt cheeks hang out, along with heels so high they wobble instead of walk. I do know some women who wear t shirts that on one person might look modest but who, simply because of their curves, look sexy instead. I'm not about to judge either. If the husband didn't like the woman's choice of clothing, he could have set up a date whereby they went shopping together and then out to dinner and a movie or something. Get involved - don't criticize. Help don't hurt. Maybe she's wearing the clothing to try and get attention from him because she can't get it from him in any other way. This reminds me of when I worked a few years back with a female member of our management team. She seemed to have a nipple issue. The a/c would be put so cold that it would be 100 degrees outside so you would dress appropriately for the office and then get inside and freeze. If you didn't have a sweater with you, well - nippleitis..and to be sure she would see that as immodest. So the standards are different for different people but the action taken to change that standard - how insensitive, judgemental or unkind the person might be treated for example - is the indicator of what a person is made of. The man made his wife gain weight - he obviously didn't treasure what he had or he would have found another way. swife..
sammielee24
JoinedPosts by sammielee24
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75
How much should a married woman show?
by greendawn indo you think a married woman should go out provocatively dressed?
some of my friends accept it some don't and one had big arguments with his wife about the issue until the time when he cunningly got her to become overweight something that spoilt her good looks.
think of it, a married woman going out wearing tight shorts showing so much leg and buttocks and a top that reveals too much breast, as if almost saying "i am going out to entice some men", should a dignified husband accept that?
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My personal experiences. How long can I keep up this facade?
by alienagent ini am a 34 your old man who has been raised a jw.
i am baptised and have been inactive for some time now.
i live with my mother (a devout jw) and my youngest sister who is df'd.
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sammielee24
the pressure is more intense upon the one not yet disfellowshipped, because the parent lets on they couldn't bear to have all of the kids leave, so the pressure is on the one still in. It is a double standard, but they will be more pissed at the last one who leaves than they were the others. .
Been there and its beyond true. The word alone is the dividing line for a lot of JW's...I have family where one person is disfellowshipped and another has just 'fallen away' but never been formally renounced. The df'd one is treated like rotting garbage whereas the disassociated one is treated like an honoured family member - and this is despite of the df'd one living a morally clean life but the da'd one being married a number of times and engaging in other 'wordly' activities. Go figure.
Get your own place. Live your life. Be happy. Just warn your girlfriend if the relationship goes any further that she may not be accepted by the family - be really honest as well in explaining to her how loving the Society is toward 'wordly' people.
sammieswife
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Pictures...Of Our New Home
by Legolas inhere is a few pics of our home...they are not very good though ...lol...i don't have any pictures up yet, most of my plants are setting on my table (still), some stuff is still out in the moving van and our grass is not in and garage is not built (the cut lumber in our yard is going to be milled and used for our deck and garage)!
kitchen.
here's our back yard ...but since we faced the home inwards..i guess it's our front yard!..lol.
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sammielee24
Nice property and the dog ain't so bad either whatever you do though, don't
dye the dog and get it over with LOL!
..a few years back I had a fit of creativity and decided to re-do my bedroom in black. I painted the walls black and put gold dust on the ceilings for the stars..put down black tile..the whole works. It looked amazing - given the way it looked before but the colour problem became a real issue when I got out of bed in the morning and stepped on the dog. She was black so when she would lie on the floor you couldn't see her...don't know how many times that little thing yelped! Bad move on my part...repainted the whole thing white a year later....and had to work around my white cat...lol...sammieswife.
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Please explain how disfellowshipping is a loving gesture
by McKafka99 incan someone please outline the rationale and scriptures used to support the idea that disfellowshipping is a loving gesture?
i am trying to understand how this behavior is justified, when in my mind in seems a simple matter; one only needs ask oneself, 'if jesus (or jehovah) were standing next to you, would jesus (or jehovah), support any shunning-type actions?
' i find it very difficult that the answer would ever be 'yes'.
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sammielee24
those who believe it is the "truth" practice disfellowshipping largely for the best of motives.
Which does still not make it ethical, moral or right in any sense - at all. There are a heck of a whole lot of people in this world who believe a 'truth' and therefore engage in actions that while they claim to be lovingly or justly movitated, do little other than destroy people. There are cultures who claim the have the 'right' (which would be based on their own truth of culture/circumstance) to circumsize little girls. There are cultures and/or people who claim they have the 'right' to rape their young daughters in order to teach them the sex act. There are cultures/people that claim they have a 'right' to blow up a few hundred people in honour of their God. All of these 'rights' are no different than the 'right' JW's feel they have to shun people - all motivated by their own beliefs. Do I believe that it is acted on out of love? No. I believe that shunning is acted on out of fear. sammieswife.
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My big date!
by Sparkplug ini had an big date with my kids tonight.
i just really do love them.
we went to the theater and saw les miserables.
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sammielee24
Those pictures are beautiful! I really like the last one of you all - you have a gorgeous family there. The kids look like sweethearts...sammieswife.
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Please explain how disfellowshipping is a loving gesture
by McKafka99 incan someone please outline the rationale and scriptures used to support the idea that disfellowshipping is a loving gesture?
i am trying to understand how this behavior is justified, when in my mind in seems a simple matter; one only needs ask oneself, 'if jesus (or jehovah) were standing next to you, would jesus (or jehovah), support any shunning-type actions?
' i find it very difficult that the answer would ever be 'yes'.
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sammielee24
I'd like to try to comprhend it.
If you can understand the feelings that go along with loathing, condemnation, rejection, death and control - then you comprehend the action. This is the biggest single whip that the Watchtower snaps at it's members in order to keep them in line. Most people are too scared of living in a world without familiarity and some sort of security and that usually can be found in family, no matter how dysfunctional. So they stay because the known is less scary than the unknown. It is abuse. Clear and simple. It has been to this point, an abuse that is condoned by the legal system and our own governments because of their refusal to acknowledge the destruction it causes. When family shuns you completely, they tell you that they must do this because thats what Jehovah wants them to do. They haven't caught on that the guy writing the script lives up the road and flushes the toilet just like they do..they aren't God but some old guys TELLING them that they are. You could beat your wife, steal, lie, cheat, be greedy..you could do anything and they would still love you and support you..but if you are disfellowshipped, only then will they cut you out of their life. What that means is quite simply, that the only real love and loyalty they feel is to the Organization and they give all their energy to it. If forced to make a choice, most JW's will choose the Society over any single person. sammieswife.
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Will I still have a family?
by Del injust like some advice, be it good or bad.
my immediate family (father, mother and sister) are all jws.
i managed to resist and have been living as a 'baaaaaad' person for years now.
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sammielee24
and in light of everything that Blondie just posted, my advice is LIE, LIE, and tell more LIES if you get asked anything. They have no business asking and no business knowing a lot of the stuff they tell people they NEED to know. The whole issue of scriptural divorce is ridiculous and like their shunning policy, the only purpose it serves is to keep people married regardless of wether or not it is not in the best interests of anyone. It again, forces people to remain in the organization by fear of disfellowshipping. sammieswife.
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I'm really ticked right now!!!
by sammielee24 insituation ugly.
long story short - adult children have refused contact with df'd father for a few years.
(except for the initial obligatory hate letter full of references to satan and some disgusting name calling).
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sammielee24
Thanks Lola....Forscher you are no doubt right and that is something we will be working on as far as inheritance..the future is untold so you are right. Letting them know that their actions have turned me away from even entertaining the thought of joining the religion - I did do that wih my mother in law at a family funeral. She handed us a note which I read right after the service telling us not to visit with her because she wished to refrain from any association with disfellowshipped ones, well I made a decision never to be in contact with them again.(my husbands kids were also there but left the room when we entered and hid up there..when we exited, the then re-entered so they would have no contact with us in any way...everyone knew what was going on) She wrote to me a month or so after that and started out her letter with 'you must be surprised to hear from me'.........well, that made my blood boil ..duh..what do you think??? So I sent her back a 5 page letter of how I saw things and how I felt - I started my letter by responding to her question - 'yes, quite frankly I was surprised to hear from you considering the blatantly rude and inconsiderate treatment that we were subjected to while visiting you for a family funeral.' I was respectful in my letter but made no bones in how I felt about a mother giving up her children, even to the point of death, to a man made organization. I duly informed her that I could deal with any problem she had with visiting me, but my husband is her son..she bore him and how easily she turned her back on him. When she wrote back it was a month later and she ignored pretty well everything but she did insert the statement that 'when he is reinstated we will get to know you'..I think not. Inbyathread - I do agree with including scripture - they like to toss it around so I would like to toss it right back.
A note to any JW lurkers - these are the stories that are being talked about. Not how honest or kind or charitable you all are. Not how loyal you are. I do not tell stories of how you follow the bible...I make no bones about the shallowness of the Society and its followers. I tell them how demeaning it is to be a 'wordly' person and sit in the hall and listen to them run you down and in what ways. I tell them how much you hate the world and its people but you pretend to love them by knocking on their door. I tell them about the money and the investments, the 2 witness rule, disfellowshipping and shunning, I tell them all of this. They sap it up. They listen eagerly. These are my experiences and I like to share them. The Watchtower is constantly telling you to keep Jehovah's name clean - that's a laugh. They do everything they can to ensure it is sullied by the very acts you inflict on others.
sammieswife.
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I'm really ticked right now!!!
by sammielee24 insituation ugly.
long story short - adult children have refused contact with df'd father for a few years.
(except for the initial obligatory hate letter full of references to satan and some disgusting name calling).
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sammielee24
Incidently, do you happen to know the color of their Masks?
On a day like today I see their mask as ruby red - the color of all the blood that's been shed in the name of Jehovah via the Watchtower.
On any other day I'm a little more lenient and would say it is the mask of civility, honor, love, friendship and loyalty.
sammieswife..
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I'm really ticked right now!!!
by sammielee24 insituation ugly.
long story short - adult children have refused contact with df'd father for a few years.
(except for the initial obligatory hate letter full of references to satan and some disgusting name calling).
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sammielee24
is it possible that they have a second motivation to act like this... to support the mother (ex-wife?) Is this like some sort of line in the sand, but they are using the disfellowshipping excuse to draw it? We thought of that also but you know - these aren't babies - they are all in their mid-late twenties and capable of making their own decisions on these things. Without a doubt the ex wife, who is a hardcore Witness, has some pull - but their behaviour has led my husband to question how much, if any, impact or real love they ever felt for him. I won't go into details but the letters that they had sent him were beyond nasty. They said things that most kids just would not say out of respect for their parents. My husband was an elder so he fully comprehends the behaviour - to an extent. He recognizes that his kids are being spiteful and hateful by going beyond the point of no communication with him - ultimately he was told that they hope he suffers. I have seen real suffering in the world. I've seen lives decimated by pain caused from abuse, poverty, social discrimination - a whole host of other trials endured by people make the lives these kids have had a 'walk in the park on a sunny day'. IMO they need some buckshot in the butt to understand what pain is..<inject sarcastic humor here> I've thought of the letter in the paper thing - I've thought of sending the Society a letter asking for the rules on family business as well. I've thought about sending all of them a letter notifying them that there will be no contact for any reason. I'm going to do something because I don't think they should have the final satisfaction of believing that we have to and will abide by their rules - we don't. They need to know that. All of these messages have been helpful. Thank you all so much! sammieswife.