Crumpet, I agree with upside down.
I am not sure if I am alcoholic or not, I have tried to stop, mainly on those mornings after the night before when I have said something horrible to somebody or just been awfully embarrassing.
"Tried" is the key word in this line. Think about what you said here ever so carefully.
After you have said something horrible, or after you have been embarrassing.. both things usually only happen when a person has had TOO MUCH to drink.
However my boyfriend, who does from time to time complain about my drinking, does not think I should stop drinking, just not drink so much.
If your boyfriend complains about your drinking, it means that your drinking AFFECTS him. Otherwise, he wouldn't mention it.
As some have said an alcoholic is one who can't just have one drink. I can have just one drink and will if it is a birthday lunch and I have to go back to work,
....because you don't have an option of having more than one in this situation, not because you decide for yourself that you are going to have just one.
but I really cannot see the point of just one drink and would rather not have a drink at all if I can't have 3 or 4 drinks. Does that mean I am alcoholic or does it mean I drink to relax and one doesn;t do it for me - it just makes me thirsty for the nexty one. However I can physically and mentally do it.
That means that right now you need 3 or 4 drinks to 'relax'. Look back and you will remember a time when you only needed 2 drinks to relax. If you don't do something about it, you will soon need 5 drinks or more to relax. "I can physically and mentally do it" is called denial. Moreover, if you could mentally do it, you probably would not have posted what you just did.
I do exceed the weekly unit recommendation and always hav,
Red flag. Big one.
but my drinking patterns have changed. I used to drink in my teens and early 20's twice a week - heavily - enough to pass out and I wouldnt want to drink in between.
most of us did.
Nowadays I very rarely want to passout, but I do like to be drunk, not blind drunk, just very tipsy. But I find it increasingly difficult to go more than 48 hours between drinks, but I drink less on the ocassions I do drink, but still over the weekly limit.
This is much more of a problem than what happened in your teenage years.
I find it increasingly difficult to go more than 48 hours between drinks
Red flag
I water down my drinks to make them last longer and control how drunk I am.
Red flag, the size of a twin bed sheet.
I begin many mornings saying to myself right lets have a few days off drinking starting today. Its very rare that I get to that evening and don't have a drink even though I am really adamant that I am not going to.
Red flag.
So does this make me an alcoholic?
I am by no means qualified to answer that question. All I can say is, please, please talk to someone.
If it doesn't hurt anyone apart from my liver does it matter?
Wrong. Alcoholic or not, you obviously do drink too much, and that is going to end up hurting much, much more than just your liver. Your boyfriend is obviously already affected by your drinking.
I have deliberately not learned to drive until now because I was scared that I would get behind the wheel and do someone an injury when drunk, but do feel I can trust myself in that respect now.
Huge red flag here. You have got to promise yourself that you will never, and I mean NEVER drive after you have been drinking. 3 or 4 drinks DO impair a person's ability to react in case of a sudden obstacle in the road. (read..a dog crossing the road, or perhaps a child). Do NOT tell yourself that you can handle it and that you are just fine to drive. After 3 or 4 drinks, you are NOT fine to drive.
I do realise that I drink too much to make a good mother and 9 months without being drunk would be impossible at the moment.
red flag
Is it wrong for me to enjoy a few drinks, even though due to circumstances I enjoy at least half of my drinks alone?
Red flag. You are trying to justify your drinking habit here.
(The longest I have been without a drink is 12 days in the last 8 years, which I managed, but had been trying to make it a month which I failed.)
red flag.
Crumpet, this doesn't look good, imho. I admire you for writing about this so openly. No, you are not a drop-down drunk, but you do seem to have a problem with alcohol. Upside down gave you a very good suggestion. Print out what you have written and show it to someone who is not too close to you.
You obviously need a buzz in order to get you through a day. At the point where you're at, I can guarantee you that it is not going to stop with 3 or 4 drinks. If you're up to that amount and you question yourself about it, then you have to address the red flags very carefully.
Good luck, crumpet.
Chris
