Welcome Freeme.
My wife is an active dub. So are my kids.
My situation is so similar to yours.
When I first started doubting and wondering my wife was angry. She didn't want me asking any questions or discussing anything with her. She told me to ask older witnesses whom I trusted or to write the Society with my questions. I refused telling her it was my business and I didn't want to involve the congregation. Besides, I said, what can they say that they haven't printed in the past 125years.
Each step of what turned out to be a fade cause greater grief in my life. She freaked out at every point in the process.
One night I sat her down and told her some of the things I had found out. Boy oh boy was she angry. She told me right then that I was not upbuilding and to never speak of such things again. She did tell me, however, that she wouldn't leave me if I left the truth.
Well, we still have our discussions but they're not deep and I don't beat up her beliefs. We have this unspoken agreement not to discuss the elephant in the room.
Most of our arguments are over the children and their upbringing.
I guess if I had any one piece of advice it would be this: Make sure you are happy and then make sure your wife is happy. In that order.
Feel free to pm me anytime. I have cried the same cry you have.