Hanging On,
I feel for you. It's obvious that you love God and are seeking to worship him the "right" way.
Please do some research on legalism in religion. Witnesses can be loving and kind individuals, but the organization is legalistic and reminiscent of the Pharisees. It sounds too awful to believe, which is why I think you should do some research on religious legalism.
Do yourself a huge favor and lift the weight from your heart - read a few threads here on disfellowshipping and its scripturalness. Jesus died so that we wouldn't be over burdened by our sinful nature - he took our sin onto himself and told us specifically that "Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you, and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart; and you shall find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy, and My load is light” (Matt. 11:28).
The following link is one of many many links that you may wish to check out (it may prove to be like cooling waters for you): http://www.geocities.com/hotsprings/3658/subtle.html
Good luck on your journey and congratulations on the impending addition to your family. Having children is one the greatest things in my life. I remember their births like yesterday.