jonie...sorry you are feeling bad. I felt that way right after getting out. I think it's pretty normal to have a hole where something, no matter how false it was, took that place. Time will help you fill the emptiness. Sign up for some classes and focus on something worhtwhile. The WTBS is a negative influence and everyone involved is pretty negative, preaching death and destruction. It takes a while to get over those feelings and move on. Get your faimily involved in other activities too. You will soon discover that the JW's have it ALL wrong or God is just a big ol' meany and is going to destroy a lot of "worldly" folks with good hearts.
As far as praying to Jehovah...you may wanna do a litle research about that name. The WTBS even admits that Yahwah is more correct...but in reality if the true pronounciation was lost and all we have are a bunch of vowels, then it could be Yehovah....yahewo...Yehoveh...Yaheveh...Let's face it, what ever you call him it could be wrong and could be pissin' him off so isn't it better to call him by a respectful title such as God or Supreme One or like Jesus.."Father" rather than take the chance of making him mad? Put yourself in his place. Wouldn't you rather be called Ms, Miss or Mrs than some mispronounciation of your name? My 2-centz.
-BONEZZ