stopthepain
JoinedTopics Started by stopthepain
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9
I have outed myself
by stopthepain in.
my avatar is me with my dog tuko.i am not afraid at all anymore.people can read what ive written,i honestly don't care.for those of you who recognize my posts----------------well,here i am.. stp{of the not afraid to hide my face class}
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21
Is age an excuse to hold back?
by stopthepain in.
a few times me and my family have had it out about the cult,and my parents{especially my mom}who are now 50,get all craxzy sometimes.she almost acts like she's physically sick,or haveing a heart attack or something when things get heated.now i understand sheis emotional to begin with,thats what got her into this crap .but is all these factors a reason to hold back feelings?i often find myself tip-toeing around how i talk to her.i feel the fanatic state they kept thier kids(especially us o0lder 3 of 5}really had detrimental effects on us.it's not so much of what they believed,but how they held us kids back from normal growth.i don't want to make her feel terrible,but sometimes it's hard not to say things.she still clings to her meeting on sunday,and basic principlkes of the bible,but i at times feel betrayed because of her cntinuing to support that reloigion.i guess you just have to take it as comes.has this happened to anyone else?sometimes i care,sometimes i don't.i want my parents to know exactly how wrong the way they raised me was.i guess it was worse because i was so trusting.at a few times in my life,i actually beli9eved.when the rug got pulled out for me,i was left emotionally scarred.it is very difficult for me to forgive and forget.it's just the more you think about how ridicoulous there way of raising children was,the more angry i get.. its my little brothers 21 birthday tonight,and we are all going out to eat and have a few drinks{but it's not a birthday party}.i couldn't do crap in all my childhood.they taught me to hate.they used warped scare tactics on young children.they held me back socially in everyway.they caused,thru that cult,soooooo much pain,that still lingers today.will i ever truly forgive and forget,i dont think so,but thier age may spare them my full disdain.its a fine line i tread with my parents,one between love and hate.. should age matter when it comes to confronting people on this subject,one that runs deep for many of us children of the watchtowers 1980's /early 90's pinnacle of fanatisism?stp
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2
WTBTS=relationship thief
by stopthepain in.
how many of you out there have ever wondered "how many people did i never get to meet because of being a witness".. i for one,being raised ina ultra conservative jw family ask myself that.. everytime you missed out on various activities{outside the org},you miss out the chance of meeting great, interesting people.i for one don't have 1 friend left from the religion.so even if i met just 1 person that made a difference in my life,it would have been worth more than all that wasted time.. the wtbts knows what strings to pull to keep you from thinking outside the jw box.they destroy relationships before you could ever imagine begginning one..
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17
elders visit
by stopthepain inyesterday,i get a buzz from the doorbell,well i wasn't expecting anyone,niether was my roomate.well geuss who,2 elders i don't even know.they tried to introduce themselves and act all friendly.i said"i don't want to talk to you abot anything,before i could finish my statement,he tried to butt in and say something,i cut him off and said"listen,i don't want to talk to you about anything at all",in a firm tone.and shut my door.. i believe they have gotten wind of my activities in giving my family the truth about the truth.i believe they wanted to draw me into a trap so they could df me,i gave them no satisfaction.i know for a fact other my younger sisters friends know i can't stand the religion,and it has gotten back to the big bad elders.i could give a shit!they can't fool me anymore.again,this site has been a godsent,no pun intended.thanks to all my friends out in cyberspace,youve all hel[ped me out.. i also unloaded on my older ,depressed sister about the truth about the truth,she was not sure how to react,but i had to speak my peace.i can no longer pretend to co0ndone or keep silent,she has a young daughter,i had to at least warn her.and when i say unload,i mean unlo(ad!!
!i got into the jdubs history,lies ,changing doctrine,mental abuse,beth sarim,thier monitary holdings,thier guilt and scare tactics,thier exploitation of children,and ovwerall craziness that is the wtbts.i also kept calling it "the publishing company from brooklyn.
"i topld her i have no belief in that religion,and that i'm here for her if she needs help dealing with this.i don't know if it did harm or good,but she i feel it needed to be done.. .
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60
The org is going down----I can feel it!
by stopthepain in.
my brother called me today.he is 20 ,3 years younger than me,and out of the religion.he still has fear though that it could be true,but thats another story.. he told me he heard my mother and father talking upstairs.my mother said about the org "ive put 26 years into it,i think i'm done with it,i might just go sunday from now on".this is huge ,because she was a devoted nutjob witness.she made my life horrible for the 1st 17 years of my life.i had been trying to suddly tell her the truth about the troof,but i didn't expect this.i'm happy and yet i want to know where she stands with the borganization.. this along with what seems to be an outpouring of similar stories,i have a gut feeling the jehovahs witness mind control cult is on the brink of implosion.everyone is so burdened by it.the jig is up,gb,good riddance when you fold.the rank and file have had enough.my 2 younger sisters are on the edge of mental freedom.i hope they can fully get free of it.. this is a milestone in my families long and strange trip in mental enslavement!!!!!!!!!!!!
!
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what if???????????
by stopthepain inwhat do you think would happenif every x-jw showed up for a sunday meeting,with just a bible{any version you like}and a smiling face.everyone acted as if the borg had no control over them.i'm not saying be disrespectful,you just smile,and act as if you aren't under the societies authority.no literature,no rhetoric,just peace and humility.. .
that would make a statement!
ps.a strong young couple in my old hall just da'ed themselves,it made my day.
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just more b.s.
by stopthepain ini just got off the phone with a elder friend of mine.he's one of those borderlline elders who doesn't shun me.i called him to ask about a family matter that he knew about.the conversation soon degenarated into an aregument.i asked "where does it say in the bible to brainwash children and send them door to door to sell magazines.
" his reply was "bring your children up in the mental regulating of jehovah" and "jesus gave us a command to preach,and we should show are children that".i'm really heated right now.i'm amazed how this religion has an answer for everything,always have to be right.couldn't just say,"yeah ,maybe a child should grow up first ,then choose if they want to ebarrass themselves,oops,i mean preach.
"i hate that religion,with every fiber in me.more of the same bullcrap.
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seeking help
by stopthepain ini have never sought out proffesional help.i guess the way i am is part of that stubborn old school mentality of"i don't need any help".i think i can fight through alot of my feelings.as a raised,insecure,unhappy,negative ex jw child,do members on this forum think someone such as myself should seek psycological help(even if yes,why?
)why can't i fully move on?does just vocalizing these issues help?.
i know the answer,but i'm afraid to deal with it.i guess i'm just having a bad day.i'm glad i have this meesage board .youve all been great,sorry to bother with my pitifull emotions,.
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3
how should i handle them?
by stopthepain inyesterday,i watched the football games at my parents house.my parents both went to the meeting.now everyone knows my stance about the religion,but out of respect,i try very hard not to talk about my feelings or discourage them,because that is pointless.. but peppered throughout the day waas comments on the meeting,how the watchtower on alchohol was good becuase unlike other religions jdubs "adress the problems at hand",how an annionted sister died and how she is now"up there talking with jehovah"ect ,ect ,ect.whenever these comments where said,i had all i could do but go off.. i guess i'm pissed because if i was to sayanything about my views on the society,it would be a huge fight ,ending in alot of hurt feelings,but they can talk about things that they believe,as if i somehow will see the light.. at one point ,my father was kind of ragging on the watchtower study about alchohol{he's a huge jw fencesitter } i replied with"don't say anything bad about the society dad" mockingly of course,and i said out loud.
"i'll just keep my opinions to myself".even after i tried to show that i was uncomfortable with that topic ,it didn't stop them from bringing it up.. lately i'm really considering disassociating myself from the religion,for myself,but also to test my family.why should i have my name listed as a babtized jw(i was babtized at the all knowing age of 12}?why should they not talk to me even if i was disassosiated?is this a selfish thought?do i want to do that to see who my family loves more,me or the org?i can honestly say i don't care about my relationship with my family if they treated me different.they abandoned me once when i first left,but a few years after i left they softened.all you have in the world is yourself,ive learned that thusfar the hard way.. this religion is ,as far as i can tell,will always play a part in my life--------one way or another,whether i want it to or not.stp.
p.s.thanks whoever runs this site,it has been a great outlet for me personally.also,all the members,thanks.even you bradley!
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how many people make a "comeback"
by stopthepain ini personally am ashamed of my so-called comeback.. hers the story.brainwashed from infancy on,got out at age 16-17-really started hating the religion.tried lots of drugs,sex ,selling drugs ,fighting,partying,gambling-soup to nuts.at a fragile and emotional point in my life,i looked back to the religion{for all those sappy and emotional reasons-ex-my life has no meaning,i dont like the way my life is}i had a short lived comeback,and fell into all the traps of believimg a cult again.thinking i needed "structure"in my life.my mom kept sayimg how i would find a nice sister,blah blah blah.... .
after 5-6 months of going to meetings i* stopped,i realized most of the people there{especial;ly young ones raised in the troof}were living lies,and acting very immature.that was 3 years ago.i havent been to the kh since and never plan on going back.. i guess im embarrssed about this and feel stupid about my "comeback".wondering if this is natural to have a comeback considering my circumstances,or if anyone has done this?.
please forgive me...........it will never happen again
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