I do hate who I was as a Witness. When I was young teenager I was a self-righteous jerk and a tattle-tale who had absolutely no confidence in himself and only found strength by doing what the organization told him to do. By the time I left, I was a total hypocrite, leading a double life and lying to everyone around me--but still demanding perfection of others.
ValiantBoy
JoinedPosts by ValiantBoy
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9
Do you hate the person you were, in the WT ??
by wobble inwhen i look back, i can do so with rose coloured spectacles, but, in truth, i do not like the cult member i was.. o.k , in mitigation i was one of the most liberal jw's in a very liberal congregation, i never did the 100% shunning bit, i found nice seats (not at the very back, and next to their family if poss.
) for the df'd ones after giving them a proper welcome to the k.h for example.. but i still see clearly that my thinking was twisted by those mind controlling bastards who run, and write for ,the wtb$.
i did not trust anybody worldly to any great degree, i believed the "system" would end one day and so i didn't have to contribute anything to it,.. i could go on, but basically i hate all those things about me that were from the cult.. how about you ?
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First official shunning was AWESOME
by SweetBabyCheezits inwe went to target this weekend to look at halloween costumes for the kiddos (and maybe me - i'm still a kid at heart).
my daughter and i were walking down a main aisle when an ex-friend - the very one who testified that i refused to discuss my doubts - came out of a side aisle and almost turned our direction.
we made eye contact and i gave him a nod as we continued to walk toward him.... but he stopped like he'd run into a brick wall, then turned and started walking with his back to us so that we didn't cross paths.. my daughter pipes up and says, "hey, daddy, isn't that [edit]??
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ValiantBoy
It's funny how our perceptions on shunning change once we are disfellowshipped. When I was still an active Witness I followed the rules on disfellowshipping and even totally shunned my older sister; I once cancelled a trip to my parents' house because she was going to be there---and then I counseled my mom for associating with her. I was sincere, but I was wrong (not to mention that I was a total a-hole) and I regret that now.
Similarly, when I was disfellowshipped my friends all shunned me. My best friend got married a few months after I was disfellowshipped. By that time I was working on getting reinstated, but I could still not attend the wedding. It sucked, but I knew that he was sincere and thought he was doing the right thing.
Later, after I got reinstated, I simply faded. My friends shunned me again, especially after I came out. It still hurt a lot. I missed them and, by this time, I thought they really hated me. But I still recognized their sincerity and tried to be understanding, remembering that I once would have taken the same course of action.
SBC, your friend probably feels really bad that he had to shun you. He may break the rules in a lot of ways that he knows he can get by with, but he's probably afraid that associating with a DF'd person would be too much. Hopefully, though, this will make him think and maybe he will wake up one day and wonder what the hell he was thinking when he quit talking to a good friend just because his church told him to.
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Not surprisingly, the rumor mill has started...
by SweetBabyCheezits inmy wife and i have not even been df'd for a week and an old friend on fb (an inactive jw who has active jw friends who used to be friends of mine) says there's a rumor going around that i'm gay.
wow.
really jws?
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ValiantBoy
As one of the gay friends on your facebook page, I've got to tell you that the whole situation pisses me off for you. I believe you've made your reasons for leaving the organization perfectly clear. I guess it is easier for them to believe that you have a moral deficiency rather than legitimate issues with their religion.
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I was wrongfully Disfellow shipped out...help
by pes0210 inin 04 i was brought before a comitee of 3 elders and admited to sex before marriage, given my situation at the time i fell short, i showed repentance for it and they said they were going to recomend i leave for awhile to find myself spiritually...(wow the only time they got one right) i did find myself spiritually through other means.
now i have a question since i no longer want to be a part of this organization and i was cast out from it, shouldnt my records with my personal information be destroyed?
if its in a file that i do not want to exist?
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ValiantBoy
I've never heard of a judicial committee or any other elders encouraging someone to leave for a while to find themselves spiritually.
As far as suing them for defamation, there would only be defamation if they shared the contents of the file with others and you could prove both intent to defame you and demonstrate a tangible loss of reputation, income, etc that resulted.
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Our Independence Day - Getting Disfellowshipped Tonight!
by SweetBabyCheezits inwell, it's the big day.
time to go over the checklist..... .
shoes shined.
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ValiantBoy
HAHA... you got the wimpy announcement..
The old hardcore "This is to inform the congregation that so-and-so has been disfellowshipped from the Christian Congregation" was so much better. . .
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Our Independence Day - Getting Disfellowshipped Tonight!
by SweetBabyCheezits inwell, it's the big day.
time to go over the checklist..... .
shoes shined.
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ValiantBoy
Tim, it is really good to be able to address you by name on here! SBC just doesn't feel right :)
Sorry that the grand-parent-in-laws were so harsh with your wife. That truly sucks. I remember how much she loves them.
I'd love to see your facebook letter...
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Joel P. Engardio's article on JWs (Washington Post)
by behemot injehovah's witnesses: a model for church and state begin blogger thumbs end blogger thumbs by joel p. engardio.
if i'm ever allowed to legally marry, my mother won't attend my wedding.. i'm a gay man and my mom is one of jehovah's witnesses.
to remain true to her faith, she can't in good conscience be part of a same-sex marriage celebration.
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ValiantBoy
As a gay ex-witness, I actually sympathize a lot with Mr. Engardio. I suspect our experiences are quite similar.
Each of us has our own unique experiences. For me, my exit was fairly painless. My JW family is good to me and I love them dearly; my love for my family moves me to be overly generous in my assessment of the organization at times.
I realize that JW's view my lifestyle as a sin and believe that I will be destroyed at Armageddon. However, I am happy that JW's do not actively campaign to legally restrict my right to marriage. I can't say that about all other religions. Similarly, unlike some other groups, JW's do not call for humans to carry out violent acts on homosexuals. I appreciate that as well.
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Should/Can I turn them in?
by AwSnap inwhat are my options?
i have recently found out that someone close to me is receiving medicaid and in the process of getting food stamps.
this is so unfair and annoying.
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ValiantBoy
If you fell strongly about it, report them anonymously. I have done this on three seperate occasions. None of the individuals I reported faced legal repercussions, but all did lose their undeserved benefits. It's not that I was jealous or was interested in seeing them get into trouble, I just feel strongly that it is wrong to steal and I wanted them to stop. I like my tax dollars helping out the truly needy, but I don't care to see it going to scammers.
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Ground Zero Mosque
by minimus indo you agree that there should not be a mosque in the area that was wiped out by muslim extremists?
on the view, it was discussed with bill o'reilly and the ladies of the view.
joy behar and whoopie flipped because bill said "muslims" were responsible for the carnage there and it would not be appropriate for a mosque in that area.. what do you think?.
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ValiantBoy
"but that is what ALL Muslims who follow the Koran believe"
Could I not make the claim that ALL Christians who follow the Bible believe in the genocide of non-Christians based on selective use of imflammatory scriptures and the example of extremist Christians?
Of course I could, and many people do.
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Ground Zero Mosque
by minimus indo you agree that there should not be a mosque in the area that was wiped out by muslim extremists?
on the view, it was discussed with bill o'reilly and the ladies of the view.
joy behar and whoopie flipped because bill said "muslims" were responsible for the carnage there and it would not be appropriate for a mosque in that area.. what do you think?.
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ValiantBoy
The radical Muslims who bombed the World Trade Center committed a heinous act that should not be forgotten. However, those terrorists no more represent Islam than radical extremist Christians, or JW's for that matter, represent mainstream Christianity.