Your baptism talk included a question that you had to provide a "Yes!" answer to in order to get yourself dunked.
According to the footnote on page in the April 15, 1987 Watchtower article "Gaining Peace With God Through Dedication and Baptism" your "yes" answer indicated that you had FULL COMPREHENSION of what is involved in coming into INTIMATE relationship with God and his earthly organization.
You can leave but you will get shunned even if you don't DA or get DF'd.
The cult had an army of lawyers draw up the baptismal questions so that they can enforce shunning if a rank & file member figures out it is BS and decides to maake an exit.
You are screwed if you open your mouth.
The best way out is to fade and feign depression or an illness such as fibromyalgia when you encounter the thought police and they encourage you to return to the vomit.