The first problem you have is you believe that the JW's/WTBTS is the truth.
It isn't.
Jesus is the truth.
The JW's/WTBTS have pushed Him aside and made the truth their own.
Once you figure out that the JW's/WTBTS is not the truth, never has been the truth and never will be the truth you can progress with your other issues.
Until then, you are just going around in circles.
Check out this website and it will be painfully obvious that you have deceived just like myself and millions of others have been deceived: