The walking dead=attractive single worldly people
house shopping=going around your community picking out which house you want to live in once god kills the homeowners at Armageddon
self-abuse=masturbation
unnatural=anything wts does not approve of, esp. sexually
the rod=corporal punishment mandated by the bible
feeding upon=receiving intravenous medications or therapeutics
theocratic strategy=wts-sanctioned lying to outsiders
evidently=whatever follows this word is true
Bethel=a commune of cult volunteers
horses=magazines
trumpets=soundless, invisible, imperceptible notifications of the fulfillment of bible prophecy by imaginary, invisible sky people
false religion=religions that have unbiblical practices or make false prophecies everyone else
Jehovah hates=anything wts says they don't want you to do
Jehovah=an imaginary, invisible, mute bearded sky daddy who, if human, would be investigated by Child Protective Services and other authorities, tried and executed for mass murder and torture