yer sure you can, but not until you've navigated through that uncomfortable few moments when you both question whether or not there's more than friendship to your attraction. It's an icky stage, but it's worth getting through it to the other side:) Frog x
Posts by Frog
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119CAN MEN AND WOMEN JUST BE "FRIENDS"?
by Mary inor will one of them invaribly end up being attracted to the other?
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8
Ingrained Belief Systems.
by Blueblades inwe all know how hard it is to transcend an ingrained belief system.
that is something that many people are not willing or able to do.
at least not quickly or easily, if not at all.
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Frog
hey bb, good JWD topic:)
I think the key is not fooling yourself into believing that you're over it, because I doubt very much for those of us raised in the org that we will ever be completely free from the effects of negative indoctrination. I found the most important key was being honest with yourself about how deeply you are affected, not trying to put on the facade that you're brave, strong and unflappable when there's no way we can be. Another vital aspect of beating it for me was realising that when you have relapses of jw "conscience" that it's perfectly natural considering what we've been through. There were moments when I was terrified and gripped by absolute fear for challenging what I knew was theoretically and doctrinally wrong, but that's the thing with indoctrination, it not a logical thing. It takes time, but I found the only way was to tackle it head on, disproving the JW teachings one by one and replacing them with realistic trains of thought. This way when one of my jw buttons are pushed (i.e., major earthquake in Turkey, pestilence in China, Terror attack in the UK), you know all those typical situations that your dub mind assimilates to for no logical reason, I gradually start to react with my own beliefs and ideas from new logical information that I've taken in. Over time your mind starts to skip over the old dub thinking, and you automatically start to assimilate to your own logical reasonsings.
I can fully recommend 'the road less travelled' by Scott Beck. The first few chapters about 'map making', taking in new information despite that it causes you pain etc is a perfect start for any dub making their decent from the borg.
Hard work, but it all pays off. Eventually you end up with pure mental freedom, and a quiet peaceful mind Frog x
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21
When partners lie
by Es inheya all, im in a bit of a situation, i have just found out that my partner lied to me about an incident with his family, i am having a lot of trouble with his family at the moment, which then in turn is casusing major troubles with him and me.
anyway it wasnt the worst lie out and he said he did it to protect me and to avoid another arguement with us which yes i can understand.
but he bluntly lied to me which in the end has caused more problems as i am having major trust issues right now.
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Frog
Hi Es babe, I know what dramas you've been having with your family, and you're right this lack of trust issue is only compounding the issues for you. The truth is babe that a grown man knows the truth is best for everyone. Most obviously he is very much in love with you and your lovely son, and he wants to make his life with you. He really needs to stop taking sides, and then switching back, and telling lies and covering up to keep the peace, as clearly this solves nothing. My personal opinion is that intentions don't count in this scenario, the fact is that while he's telling you that he was just trying to spare you from another arguement, the truth is that he was just trying to spair himself from complications. He's looking for the easy way out in the short-term, and not addressing the real issues. Sounds like he needs to have more confidence in the decisions he makes, then he will have nothing to lie about, protect you from, he will be able to justify his every action, and tell your 'monster in-law' where to get off when necessary! (that wasn't a plug for that hideous j-lo movie by the way;).
Sorry for imposing so many of my ideas babe, I'm sure you know very well what you have to do/say before you asked for any advice:) Luv ya, frog x
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121
Daughters Prom Pic
by Legolas in.
here is a picture of my daughter on prom night last month.
you have to adjust it i can't figure out how to put it in small
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Frog
They all look like lil princesses, all very gorgeous. Thanks for sharing proud dad Frog x
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82
Women What do you Look for in Men
by LouBelle inright so being single and being free to look and date the male species i'm sad to announce that there really is no much of a choice out there.
perhaps i'm not looking in the right places, or perhaps i just don't do it for these men.
anyway what do you look for in a guy.
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Frog
"why, yes Panda... the best husbands wear socks and shoes."
LOL! that cracks me up:) I'm not so sure about that, but perhaps it depends on the kinds shoe? No laces typces for sure, bring on the shoe-horn! Frog x
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77
Any one else that can't sleep besides me ?
by kls ini hate night and listening to my dogs snoring
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Frog
monkies sleep in trees, perhaps even swinging by their tails, that'd be hard for anyone! be happy your not an amphibean down at the local pond, too many preditors and all that racket from crickets and things I like to eat . It's mind over matter KLS, the more you focus on it and get worked up about it, the more difficult it it. Try the Zen approach, and make yourself feel very small. I find that it helps to let your thoughts go really random, not allowing your mind to fix on any one particular line of thought, don't strain too hard, but after a while I start to relax and the overactive thought process stops. Also try no caffeine before bedtime, and not too much exercise which will keep your heart rate up and make you very mentally alert. Good luck with the sheep, they never did it for me:) Frog x
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82
Women What do you Look for in Men
by LouBelle inright so being single and being free to look and date the male species i'm sad to announce that there really is no much of a choice out there.
perhaps i'm not looking in the right places, or perhaps i just don't do it for these men.
anyway what do you look for in a guy.
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Frog
A guy who's not needy, or emotionally stunted. Kind, sincere and genuine. Asks for nothing in return, except perhaps the quiet satisfaction kindness brings.Preferably a vegetarian, but not essential if he otherwise showed respect/appreciation for living creatures.
Attractive in a quirky sort of a way, not typically attractive if you know what I mean??
Someone academically minded, doesn't have to be genius, perhaps studies in Humanities/Enviro/Bio realm.
An optimist/realist, absolutely not a fatalist mind warped dub!
Enjoys the outdoors, appreciates nature, hiking, camping and fun stuff like that
Is well liked because he relates to a range of people on their own level
Preferably has sisters, and is conditioned to women's stuff
Passionate about what he does, his work would be closely intwined with his way of life
...perhaps I'm being too specific?? lol! happy to remain single unless such a guy exists:)
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24
Frog's next journey around the sun....
by FlyingHighNow inwill begin in 8.5 hours.
happy birthday, frog.
i'm in eastern standard by the way, a true insomniac.
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Frog
Thankyou to all my lovely friends here:)) I'm having the best B'day so far. I got my first text message from London @ 5:30am from one of my very good friend, then the next from my non-dub brother at 6:30am, then a call from my favourite cousin in London at 7am, then my dad and I had our usual chat about how he filled out the paperwork wrong on the day I was born and they stuffed up my birthdate at 7:30am, then I got a text from a good mate in oz, then I got a call from an aunty I haven't spoken to in a while to wish me a happy b'day, then I got a text from my ex boyfriend to wish me happy returns and tell me card is in the mail, then I got a call from a sweet uni friend to say she wants to meet me b4 our sociology lecture this morning to give me a lil pressie...This frog is feeling pretty damn well loved!
Funny huh, I was planning to have a nice quiet b'day (not really out of choice) but everyone I love who celebrates birthdays has made it so special for me. Pressies mean nothing, it's the thoughts that count, knowing they made an effort to remember, and also knowing how much it would mean to you to hear from them. So warm and fuzzy right now, which probably isn't real good for a frog, but oh well it's just one day a year. Who said Frogs have a cold heart?! Frog xxxxxxxxooooxxxxx all round. Yayaya
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Frog
Wow Ev, you're wise beyond your years:)) It's my b'day today, so you're just a year older than me!...well actually I'm 10 years and 355days older than you lol! Hope you had an awesome b'day:)))) Frog x
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24
Frog's next journey around the sun....
by FlyingHighNow inwill begin in 8.5 hours.
happy birthday, frog.
i'm in eastern standard by the way, a true insomniac.
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Frog
She sounds like a cool chicky! and good for her for not letting something like racking up a few higher numbers stop her from living large. There is really nothing in a year these days, only way to not regret getting older is to jam pack your existence with meaning and fun:)
btw, my hopeless dub parents aren't certain weather my b'day is the 21/7 or the 31/7! Up until the age of 15y/o I was led to believe it was the 31/7, until I had to get a copy of my birth certificate reprinted. How dodgey is that, my coming into the world obviously didn't have a huge impact on them! It's a hard life when you're just one of many tadpole (one-of-7). This is what happens when you're deprived of commemorating the day of your birth, your folks forget your birthdate! harsh huh?! Frog x