AshtonCA

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Posts by AshtonCA

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  16

  My irrational fears when I was a JW

  by Jez in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  my mind is healing.

  i know this because i am remembering things that i use to fear.

  here are some examples of irrational fears that i had:.

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  AshtonCA

  I guess mine was always the thought that my mother, who was anointed, was going to leave her husband and 4 children behind and go to heaven and be without us forever and ever. What kind of cruel god would do that?

  I used to have nightmares about her dropping dead while we were in the middle of armageddon. I remember being told that during the tribulation, we were to go into our houses and shut the doors and block the windows and were were not to look out the windows until we were told it was safe to do so. Can you imagine being locked in a house with a mother you knew was going to drop dead on ya at any time?

  I used to ask my mom what were we supposed to do with her body once she died and she always said that we would have to go an bury it, so I always pictured myself in the back yard diggin' a hole and puttin her in it.

  Also, we were taught that once we could go out of the house, that there would be dead bodies everywhere from all the wicked who were killed and we'd have to bury them too.

  Man, soo much gloom and doom! My mom still tends to have a little of this in her beliefs now. It's hard to think about sometimes. I think that's why it is so hard for me to read Revelations. I get an eery feeling everytime I do.
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  14

  Has anyone ever ate the emblems feeling its ok

  by PinTail in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i did i felt that i should, and i wanted to.

  now i belong to the bible students, who won't kick your spiritual hiney for doing so, or shun you for dibbing and dabbing that stuff out of weekness.

  http://www.heraldmag.org/

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  AshtonCA

  I did. A few weeks later I was df'd.

  God will get them, don't you worry! They stomped on your holy spirit. You are actually better for it, but still, they are in the wrong, not you! ;)

  Ash
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  14

  Has anyone ever ate the emblems feeling its ok

  by PinTail in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i did i felt that i should, and i wanted to.

  now i belong to the bible students, who won't kick your spiritual hiney for doing so, or shun you for dibbing and dabbing that stuff out of weekness.

  http://www.heraldmag.org/

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  AshtonCA

  My brother partook when he was little...he feels fine. He isn't a believer but constantly says anyway that he's going to rule with Jesus one day.

  I believe he will, and I don't even know him. I have learned over the years that if anyone tells me they believe a certain thing about their life and Jesus, I believe they are telling the truth.

  My mom partook for many years and I had many friends tell me they thought my mom was demonized because she wasn't an elder or a person of importance. I defended her, and still do to this day, even though our beliefs on this matter are nowhere near the same as they used to be. I know that I am going to be in heaven one day sitting right next to Jesus.

  Telling someone they are not anointed, or whatever the term is now, can get ya dead. It's like touching the eye of God if you do anyting to the least of his little ones.

  Ash
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  14

  Has anyone ever ate the emblems feeling its ok

  by PinTail in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i did i felt that i should, and i wanted to.

  now i belong to the bible students, who won't kick your spiritual hiney for doing so, or shun you for dibbing and dabbing that stuff out of weekness.

  http://www.heraldmag.org/

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  AshtonCA

  Does anyone, on here, intend to next month? legitimately or otherwise?

  I am and have for the last 10 years. Like I have said before, all Christians should be doin it. Sorry if I am pounding this one home, but with passover comin' I'm hoping that a lot more here who have been afraid to take communion, or whatever you want to call it, do so with a clear conscience. Believe me, it is the right thing to do. Keep reading Matt 28 unil you are blue in the face, you will get it and understand that doing everything Jesus did includes this. :)

  Ash

  P.S. If anyone does for the first time this year, please post it here so we can give you big hugs and congrats for taking one of the biggest steps in your Christian life.
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  14

  Has anyone ever ate the emblems feeling its ok

  by PinTail in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i did i felt that i should, and i wanted to.

  now i belong to the bible students, who won't kick your spiritual hiney for doing so, or shun you for dibbing and dabbing that stuff out of weekness.

  http://www.heraldmag.org/

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  AshtonCA

  did I felt that I should, and I wanted to. Now I belong to the Bible Students, who won't kick your spiritual hiney for doing so, or shun you for dibbing and dabbing that stuff out of weekness.

  Good, that means that you were being led to believe that you should be doing it. Every christian should be celebrating this, it isn't for just a set group. To be like Christ, you do like Christ, and that includes Passover/emblems or communion, or whatever you want to call it.

  With passover/memorial coming soon, I can't stress the importance of Matthew 28 enough, do as Jesus commanded his apostles, among other things, break the bread and drink the wine.

  Ash
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  8

  Another FS related thread.

  by the_classicist in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  when i was 12 and trying to get baptized i did (only five hours a month!

  not getting a jw baptism was one of the best things that ever happened to me.

  so, did y'all ever get bothered by the "elders" for not spending enough time in field service?

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  AshtonCA

  Oh, I just remember, the phrase I'm looking for is "Fulltime Pioneer" Doh! that's it! Yikes!

  Ash
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  8

  Another FS related thread.

  by the_classicist in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  when i was 12 and trying to get baptized i did (only five hours a month!

  not getting a jw baptism was one of the best things that ever happened to me.

  so, did y'all ever get bothered by the "elders" for not spending enough time in field service?

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  AshtonCA

  Yes, I sure did, then when I tried to go full time in service and become whatever it is you are called when you become a fulltimer (sorry it's been too long since I was in and I can't remember what ya call it. Maybe that's a good thing!), They refused to let me become a fulltimer and give me whatever title it was, geesh i wish I could remember!

  Anyway, after the meeting on the night I was supposed to be announced as a whatever it was, the MS in our cong., who was annoyed at our family already because of lack of attendance and a mom who was "anointed", handed me my publisher record card and told me, in front of all of my friends and family, that my attendance was not good enough to be a fulltime whatever it was. I was mortified and all of my friends and family stood there in disbelief, but afraid to say anything in my defense, except my mom who gave him whatfor! I will say no matter what relationship I have with her now, she always stood her ground against the organization and their minions.

  Actually, the reason my attendance was bad was due to the fact that I had had major surgery and almost died because I couldn't take blood and my parents rushed me from San Diego to the bloodless surgery clinic in L.A. with a grapefruit sized cyst on my right ovary that nearly did me in (I was 18), and they saved my life after me spending a week in a local hospital and the local docs refused to treat me because I was JW. I remember my dad almost flying the car while I lied in the back screaming in pain. It was horrible. When we got their, they rushed me into surgery, but I had to wait in line because the doctor had just lost a young girl who had the exact same problem as I did and he was consoling the family, she was 16. No one told me about her until after the surgery because they didn't want me to be scared. I was loopy on pain meds, all I remember was waiting in my roller bed in the hallway while they "prepared the operating room".

  Not one elder came to see how I was in the whole 6 months that I was layed up in bed recovering.

  Oh, such lovely memories.

  Ash

  P.S. Anyone ever notice that when we start telling even as much as a little piece of our stories that we can't stop and they become novels? Geesh!
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  21

  My email to CBS Morning News about the JW PSA

  by BONEZZ in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  when i first saw the jw psa i fired an email off to cbs.

  this was my second email to them.

  i haven't been up early enough lately to see if they ignored this one too but i'll check it out next week.

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  AshtonCA

  Ashton, I'm sorry for your abuse. I was sexually "assaulted" by the fa-in-law of an elder while I was cleaning their house. I was a teen and ran out never going back. In the last few years I found out he had been molesting his granddaughter. He had also molested his daughter. I never told anyone as I didn't want to bring reproach on the elder and his family who were good friends. Silly me!

  Thank you, as I posted in the abuse section, it was my grandfather (a CO, MS, and then Elder) who molested myself and his daughter. She never told, but she wrote some things in a journal that described some odd behavior. Her mother mother obviously felt that it was damaging enough to burn the journal once I made them aware of what was in it. I don't know if my telling made it worse for her, and I don't know if it ever stopped, or how old she was when it stopped, but we do suspect that it started as early as infancy. I finally told when I was 18, but by then it was too late and he denied it anyway. Since he denied it, the elders dropped the case and nothing ever happened to him.

  I'm 37 now and I still have unresolved issues from this.

  Ash
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  21

  My email to CBS Morning News about the JW PSA

  by BONEZZ in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  when i first saw the jw psa i fired an email off to cbs.

  this was my second email to them.

  i haven't been up early enough lately to see if they ignored this one too but i'll check it out next week.

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  AshtonCA

  Hi as a Survivor want to thank you for posting this and taking your valued time in emailing CBS.

  Thank you, and Big Hugs!

  Ash
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  33

  Sad Today

  by whyamihere in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  it's has been a hard few months for me.

  i am just so sad i don't know where to begin.

  i feel so lost in this world and i have lost all my friends and i feel so alone.

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  AshtonCA

  Oh one more thing, have you tried looking for other x-jw's in your area? I think there is a meetup page that may have people in your area, or close enough to come visit ya once in awhile. It might be something to look into.

  http://www.meetup.com

  Ash