"No regrets, they don't work" (Robbie Williams). He's just a damn pop singer but he's right.
Posts by DHL
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14im feeling it again...help me through this please
by tsunami_rid3r inim having that feeling where if i couldve been able to do something in the past, life wouldve been better.
like i wouldve been able to be much better friends with this person and that person.
or if i did that sport i couldve become closer to those people.
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JW working the obituaries
by Icansaylucky ini was reading my local paper this morning and there was a letter to the editor.
the writer had recently lost a child and the child's obituary was recently printed in our paper.
the writer said she received a letter with a "jehovah witness tract" called "what help for dead loved ones?
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DHL
I think some other very zealous religious people do the same - seems like I heard about that from somewhere long ago and the thought that came to mind was 'why they are copying our witnessing style'.
Jeff
Freaks never die out! They use peoples temporary weaknesses and emotional turmoils against them. That's the worst attitude I could imagine.
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"They're Your Kids Too"
by Fatfreek in"they're your kids too" is a work in progress so please check me out on this.
am i being too hard, too soft?
especially, am i being factual?
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DHL
Len, great work! I think you found the right words and you surely don't sound like a troubleseeker. Your story and many others you can find on this website weave a factual pattern of the general JW-behavior on this subject.
My own story as well isn't that different. I still do have contact with my JW-parents but they strongly differentiate between simple social contacts and helpful contacts. They are quite happy whenever I pop up and even rival for my attention. But at the same time they never make a move to visit me just for the sake of seing me. They only come over whenever I express the need of help in a certain area (like having trouble with my car or whatever). Im not yet sure about their motives here but I have two assumptions:
a) They still feel a certain parental obligation to be there for me.
b) Or they feel like having another chance of buying me back by showing "acts of love".
Apart of all that they have told me point blank: "You surely understand that we prefer to spend time with our spiritual family." Emotional blackmail at its finest!
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JW working the obituaries
by Icansaylucky ini was reading my local paper this morning and there was a letter to the editor.
the writer had recently lost a child and the child's obituary was recently printed in our paper.
the writer said she received a letter with a "jehovah witness tract" called "what help for dead loved ones?
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DHL
When my best friend died in a car crash while we were aged 15 my mother wrote such a letter to the parents of my dead friend. I had a hot and loud debate about this with her prior to her sending the letter, but she off course sent it anyway. I felt the urge to get over to my dead friends family and make an official excuse for my mother being so rude. And that's what I did. But they told me, they threw the letter in the trashbin as fast as they could have done. I was incredibly embarrassed anyway and had to let them know that this wasn't my way of handling things. They said they knew that I was a normal person (and therefore would never do such a thing) while my parents weren't!
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Bookstudy - Ch30 "Go On Walking In Love"
by TheListener inso this is the title of the chapter we'll be starting this week at bookstudy.
sounds promising eh?
well don't get excited.. here are some tidbits:.
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DHL
Yes, a christian who is governed by love is not eager to drag into the light of day all the imperfections and shortcomings of his christian brothers.
They want to silence the lambs and say that's love.
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DHL
What quality does a kid need to have in order to remain free of the indotrination?
I grew up in the org. My parents were - and still are - 150% JW. My dad beeing elder and my mum out in field service all the time. How I broke free:
1.
I have always been reading. I learned to read even before I went to school. I read all kind of books, sure enough at least half of all books at our local library.
2.
When I turned 11 or 12 I was curious about other religions. Not because I was in doubt about the one I had but because I have a natural interest in all kind of things. My parents strongly discouraged me - in words and also by taking the rented books from my room while I was at school - but I didn't give up reading, instead I started reading in the library building.
3.
At about the same time I watched a woman leaving who had entered the org 2 or 3 years prior. She ended up beeing df'ed and treated very bad. What disturbed me about that was that this woman was in fact a true angel. She had a heart of gold! But the people at the KH treated her like she was the worst person on the planet when in fact she was one with a warm heart and an always peaceful attitude.
To sum this up:
I fed my brain from an early time in my life, all the brain food made me thinking a lot which made me an independent thinker, I have always been curious and open to all kinds of things, I always had a strong will (that's in my genes I suppose), and I always hated it when people were unkind towards each other.
So that was all it needed. I made my decision and then went straight to my parents and told them I wouldn't get into their footsteps. I just walked out of it and never turned around again to look back. I was strangely unimpressed by then.
I also remember asking my parents during that conversation, why they needed a whole hour or so to prepare for the wt study (reading, underlining, reading, underlining,...) while I was able to do the same within say 5 minutes and anyway be able to give answers in my own words. I remember thinking the whole thing was for stupid people only. I even told my parents so point blank knowing that my parents were actually quite intelligent folks. But watching their reaction I realised they were absolutely brainwashed.
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Would you give your life to get your family out of the Watchtower?
by zugzwang ini asked this question as part of another thread but i thought i would ask it in a new thread.
if there were some way to assure that your death would result in your family and friends learning the truth about the wts would you be willing to die to 'save' them?
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DHL
Never!!!!
My life is way to precious to give it away for bs. I'd probably give it away to save someones life. Who knows! But definitely not to save someone from stupid thinking because other peoples decisions are none of my business. We are all free to make our own decisions. Saying that I don't mean I never act stupid. But I would never ask anyone to give his life to cure that.
Actually I've bee suicidal for about 10 years but the only thing that always held me back from doing it was the clear realisation, that my death would only get these folks deeper into their belief as they would have said: "See, this is what happens to people who left god!". This realisations serves as answer for your question, too.
So just forget about it! I love my life way too much these days.
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not beards but...double standards?
by zaphod ini saw a debate on here about why men cannot have beards in org and it kinda got me thinking.. if a sister decided that she wanted to go natural (as god intended) and not shave her legs or her armpits (let's leave lady beards - the poor cows have got enough on their plate without engaging in debate about it) would that be frowned upon?.
say, if a french or a german sister came to the congregation, looking like she was wearing afghan boots and had two fair sized hamsters nesting in her pits.
would the brothers have valid reason to counsel her?.
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DHL
In Europe at one time only female prostitutes shaved their legs and under their arms.
Blondie
Now that could be used as argument as we surely don't ever want to bring trouble over weaker bros and sis who could stumble on the (hairy) subject. Instead we should supplicate the fds' help.
Writing this I wonder if such a question was never asked and answered in the "questions of readers" column yet. I almost would bet on it!
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Is yours a PURPOSE DRIVEN life?
by Terry inare you coasting along day by day taking it as it comes?.
are you planning for emergencies and setting aside for the unexpected?
sacrificing here and there to have something later?.
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DHL
A few years ago I read an article about happiness in life. I remember one quote because it described so clearly what I always did: "Strive for the 100% to 1% rule: Never try to be happy for 100% but try every day to be happy for 1% one hundred times." That's what I did all my life. I enjoy all the little things: a (given or received) smile, a beautiful sunset, a delicious meal, a friendly conversation and so on. That gives me a lot of contentment and also often works as buffer whenever a single negative situation comes up.
I also want to learn. I feel my brain is a super computer. It wants to be fed all the time. It wants to be a handyman. So I try hard to please it. Next to books on various subjects, my daily newspaper, TV, conversations and other things, JWD also is a good food source, especially when it comes to threads like this.
So thanks, Terry, for provoking me to mull over the subject! Not that I never think about it but sometimes it is good to be reminded. And I really don't believe in coincidences. You always get what you need.
On the longer run I want to become financially independant, so I regularly invest 22% of my monthly income into different funds.
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Elder w/ bad child or wife, u must step down
by sandy ini was just reading tyler's (new member)bio.
he was baptized at 11 years old.
jesus christ!
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DHL
Because the father is supposed to be the head of his house. If he cannot preside over his own house in "fine manner" then they suppose he cannot preside over the congregation very well. He and his family are supposed to be an example to the congregation.
I agree with that. I have heard that argument, too. My dad was made to step back as elder right after I didn't show up with my parents at the KH anymore (my parents made me show up until I was 16 although I already told them aged 13 that I wouldn't be a JW). He had to step back although I was never df'ed oder da'ed officially as I never got baptised. He became elder again after about 4 or 5 years. He felt very bad about losing that position but he accepted it as punishment as he was not able to win me back i.e. do a good job as head of his house. That's what he himself told me. He failed so he had to be punished. Off course he felt he owed it to Jehovah to be punished, not the WT.