Check_Your_Premises

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Posts by Check_Your_Premises

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  24

  Ex-jw who joined as adults: How did you come to trust your own conscience?

  by Check_Your_Premises in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  sorry no raised-a-dub responses here!

  just ex-jw who joined as adults.

  on another thread i pointed out the idea that most jw who join as adults, do so out of a need to compensate for or as a reaction to some bad experiences such as physical abuse, sexual abuse, a time of upheaval, or just a plain old poorly developed sense of self.

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  Check_Your_Premises

  Tough questions for a Monday?
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  21

  Why did you then and dubs now have faith in the divine appointment?

  by Check_Your_Premises in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i asked a dub this question, and have heard similar things in the past.

  if i asked a dub why they believe in the divine appointment of the watchtower as jehovah's one and only organization i think they would answer in the following way.. 1. because of the success of the org, and all the info they put out, and the preaching work.

  it has to be divinely directed, there is no other explanation.. 2. because of how well what the org teaches matches up with the bible.. 3. there has to be one true religion!

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  Check_Your_Premises

  Ok, I mean it more like, "what would you have said when you were a dub"
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  21

  Why did you then and dubs now have faith in the divine appointment?

  by Check_Your_Premises in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i asked a dub this question, and have heard similar things in the past.

  if i asked a dub why they believe in the divine appointment of the watchtower as jehovah's one and only organization i think they would answer in the following way.. 1. because of the success of the org, and all the info they put out, and the preaching work.

  it has to be divinely directed, there is no other explanation.. 2. because of how well what the org teaches matches up with the bible.. 3. there has to be one true religion!

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  Check_Your_Premises

  I asked a dub this question, and have heard similar things in the past. If I asked a dub why they believe in the divine appointment of the watchtower as Jehovah's one and only organization I think they would answer in the following way.

  1. Because of the success of the org, and all the info they put out, and the preaching work. It has to be divinely directed, there is no other explanation.

  2. Because of how well what the org teaches matches up with the Bible.

  3. There has to be one true religion! If it is not the jw, then who is it? Nobody even comes close to showing the traits we should look for in Jehovah's one true organization.

  4. Because the jw is the only religion that preaches the good news of the kingdom, which is a real government.

  Any others?
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  24

  Ex-jw who joined as adults: How did you come to trust your own conscience?

  by Check_Your_Premises in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  sorry no raised-a-dub responses here!

  just ex-jw who joined as adults.

  on another thread i pointed out the idea that most jw who join as adults, do so out of a need to compensate for or as a reaction to some bad experiences such as physical abuse, sexual abuse, a time of upheaval, or just a plain old poorly developed sense of self.

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  Check_Your_Premises

  Sorry no raised-a-dub responses here! Just ex-jw who joined as adults.

  ON another thread I pointed out the idea that most jw who join as adults, do so out of a need to compensate for or as a reaction to some bad experiences such as physical abuse, sexual abuse, a time of upheaval, or just a plain old poorly developed sense of self. This in turn led to the need for the security offered by a group that has all the answers.

  Did you leave because you grew as a person, and no longer needed that security offered by a group with all the answers?

  Or did you leave because you had a bad experience that caused you to doubt the claim of divine appointment of the org as God's visible organization? Why did it open you eyes and not other dubs?

  How long did it take you open your eyes?

  Did anyone actively, and effectively work to influence or facilitate your departure?

  Thanks!
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  25

  Any commonality with dubs who join as adults?

  by Check_Your_Premises in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i know many women who joined as adults who were victims of physical abuse or some sort of sexual assault.

  i know many men who join because their wives do.. i think generally to join the dubs as an adult, you have to be looking for some sort of security.

  the world probably hasn't been very nice to you.

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  Check_Your_Premises

  Guys, this is getting just a tad insulting. Sure some of us who became dubs as adults may have had a history of mental difficulty or a background of abuse, but not all of us. Perhaps we were naive or were in a difficult time in our lives when recruited, but who doesn't have some personality flaws or difficult times? I beat myself up enough over the choices I've made in my life. Guess I don't care to have my faced rubbed in it here.

  I suppose all those who were super duper enough to avoid getting sucked in to something like Jehovah's Witnesses can congratulate themselves that they are a smarter, better brand of human being.

  Dan,

  I am sorry if this question in any way seemed insulting to ex-jw who joined as adults. That certainly wasn't my intention. If anything, I deserve just as much derision (were it justified in being given out) as anyone who joined. My family got sucked into it under my watch. The only thing that probably kept me out were my experiences with indoctrination, my own experiences of having a worldview completely shattered, and my own experiences with thinking I have truth and having it proven wrong.

  I think some things are objectively stupid. Joining the JW is one of those things. I just figured that was something we all agreed on. That is not to say you or any other jw are stupid.

  If we had a website just dedicated to dumb things in general, I would be the poster-boy.

  I just wanted to do some analysis so we could benefit from your mistakes.

  CYP
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  25

  Any commonality with dubs who join as adults?

  by Check_Your_Premises in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i know many women who joined as adults who were victims of physical abuse or some sort of sexual assault.

  i know many men who join because their wives do.. i think generally to join the dubs as an adult, you have to be looking for some sort of security.

  the world probably hasn't been very nice to you.

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  Check_Your_Premises

  Yeah I got one couple I can't get a mark on. They are totally loaded and absolutely fabulous... smart, beautiful, funny.

  I found out after awhile that the wife actually had a trashy, chaotic childhood, and I think she was the victim of a sex crime. Him... I just can't figure it out in his case. It is actually a little mystery I have been trying to solve for awhile, but it is difficult to get info out without arousing suspicioun at times.

  As a non-dub I feel at times like Jane Goodall observing chimpanzees, I have even had exceremnt thrown at me!!! I have found the best times for me are at those social functions away from the hall. I can be very disarming, and I think in general dubs have no concept of personal space. They tell me things about eachother that I would never tell anyone!!!

  I keep finding that despite outward appearances that most have very crazy stories to tell!

  CYP
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  25

  Any commonality with dubs who join as adults?

  by Check_Your_Premises in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i know many women who joined as adults who were victims of physical abuse or some sort of sexual assault.

  i know many men who join because their wives do.. i think generally to join the dubs as an adult, you have to be looking for some sort of security.

  the world probably hasn't been very nice to you.

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  Check_Your_Premises

  Has anyone with a healthy upbringing ever joined as an adult?

  That would be my husband and yes i think you got it right ,at least in my husbands case . All the answers in life were tied into a neat little package,thinking , learning ,how to live and knowing how you think you will never die . I suppose it is so much easier to live your life controled then to control your own life and you never have to worry about destiny because that is all planned out for you by the wt.

  Ok K, I am not sure those aren't contradictory ideas. To want to have the world tied up in a neat bow for you does not seem to me like a person who has a very well defined sense of self. Or maybe they were never allowed. What were his folks like?

  I just think they all must be seeking shelter from something.

  CYP
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  25

  Any commonality with dubs who join as adults?

  by Check_Your_Premises in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i know many women who joined as adults who were victims of physical abuse or some sort of sexual assault.

  i know many men who join because their wives do.. i think generally to join the dubs as an adult, you have to be looking for some sort of security.

  the world probably hasn't been very nice to you.

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  2. 
  3. 
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  Check_Your_Premises

  I know many women who joined as adults who were victims of physical abuse or some sort of sexual assault. I know many men who join because their wives do.

  I think generally to join the dubs as an adult, you have to be looking for some sort of security. The world probably hasn't been very nice to you. You crave a certainty that you are protected by God, and worshipping Him the right way, that you are in with the "inside scoop". You don't have to trust your own conscience anymore because so much of that work is done for you. You don't have to figure out complex theological issues, because those are explained to you. The entire universe is tied up in a nice neat bow, and all of your activities are planned for you. You are given order, ritual, and a sense of purpose.

  Any other things that make it appealing?

  What sort of experiences do people have that make them more likely to join as an adult?

  Molested as a child? Abused physically as a child? A chaotic home life? Has anyone with a healthy upbringing ever joined as an adult?
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  11

  Is good fortune on my side? Wife wants to move.

  by ithinkisee in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  those of you that know i am about to tell my wife what i have learned about jws religion soon.

  we're talking likely less than a week.. anyways, i have in the past couple months dropped hints about moving somewhere else.

  our house has literally tripled in value since we purchased 5 years ago, and we bought some property last year that has gone up 600%.

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  Check_Your_Premises

  Hey I think.

  Have you been laying the groundwork with her to make her more receptive to criticism of the org? Have you asked her questions that will encourage independant thinking? Have you dealt with the problem of phobias?

  Hope I am not sounding critical. I think you are a smart guy, and you know I admire your work.

  It is just very common to want to go for a knockout blow. This "talk" you want to have with her sounds a lot like that. The big problem with a knockout is if it doesn't work, you will lose her trust, and you will be very dissappointed. If you are anything like me, that dissappointment will turn into aggravation, and finally rage. That rage will only add to the loss of trust you have caused, by making you seem "demonic".

  Moving sounds great!!! I think it is a great idea and will help your fade.

  Just don't shoot your wad buddy!
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  126

  My wifes struggle

  by gringojj in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hi friends.

  well its seems my wife has hit a standstill with the dubs.

  some of you may know my situation, but i guess its all relative anyway.

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  Check_Your_Premises

  Has AFIN come back yet?

  If she has, she isn't posting.

  I don't think AFIN is coming back. I think she has had it with this place. That is cool. I could understand that. I don't know if I would want to go slug it out with thousands of dubs on a posting board, not that they would have me. No matter how much you know, you don't know more than several people combined. I had a nice conversation with her today. She is alright when she isn't fighting with all of us. I hope she finds she doesn't need a group of people to make her be faithful to God. True faithfulness is shown when we don't have anybody telling/making us obey God. We just do it because we love Him!