Posts by Check_Your

18

I am thinking of being up front to my family about my thoughts on the WT

by Check_Your_Premises in

i'll try not to make this long.. my wife recently told me that she thinks i act like "she has some sort of flaw that makes her need to be a jw" and i am "trying to figure out what it is".

i don't know how better to sum up my attitude over the last couple of years.

when she said it i just shook my head and laughed.

Check_Your_Premises

It has been so long since I talked to you jgnat. your last post just reminded me why I love and have missed you so much. I wasn't familiar with the alanon approach but it was one I was settling on once I modified my model of her cult personality to be an addiction rather than simply an abusive relationship. too much info alert!!! I am typing this on the crapper using my cool new phone

18

I am thinking of being up front to my family about my thoughts on the WT

by Check_Your_Premises in

i'll try not to make this long.. my wife recently told me that she thinks i act like "she has some sort of flaw that makes her need to be a jw" and i am "trying to figure out what it is".

i don't know how better to sum up my attitude over the last couple of years.

when she said it i just shook my head and laughed.

Check_Your_Premises

That is soo hard to do. Not so much respecting the life they choose, but giving up the fight to get them out. But if you are still fighting (however subtly) to get her out, that undermines the respect for her decision.

That is the challenge isn't it.

What do you do when someone you care about is being self-destructive? All sorts of people deal with this issue, not just ubm's.

CYP

18

I am thinking of being up front to my family about my thoughts on the WT

by Check_Your_Premises in

i'll try not to make this long.. my wife recently told me that she thinks i act like "she has some sort of flaw that makes her need to be a jw" and i am "trying to figure out what it is".

i don't know how better to sum up my attitude over the last couple of years.

when she said it i just shook my head and laughed.

Check_Your_Premises

Wow it is so nice to hear from so many old friends.

It has been awhile since I have wandered in here.

I have a basic approach I am thinking through. The big thing is to make a clean break with the wt. Up until now I have always kind of left it as a "I am looking at things and keeping an open mind"

I just don't think that is credible anymore.

ALso the kids just don't have the benefit of knowing all that is out there that can refute the wt. I wouldn't try to show them anything. I just want them to know that such things exist, and is available to them if they wish. The wt can put up their little wall to try to restrict information but that won't exist in my house.

I will fill you in when I get it worked out if anyone is interested.

Good to hear from you all and thanks for your thoughts.

CYP

18

I am thinking of being up front to my family about my thoughts on the WT

by Check_Your_Premises in

i'll try not to make this long.. my wife recently told me that she thinks i act like "she has some sort of flaw that makes her need to be a jw" and i am "trying to figure out what it is".

i don't know how better to sum up my attitude over the last couple of years.

when she said it i just shook my head and laughed.

Check_Your_Premises

I'll try not to make this long.

My wife recently told me that she thinks I act like "she has some sort of flaw that makes her need to be a jw" and I am "trying to figure out what it is".

I don't know how better to sum up my attitude over the last couple of years. When she said it I just shook my head and laughed. Busted.

I went on to describe it this way to MJ:

"I tell you that thing my wife told me about trying to psychoanalyze her really got me. It is like EVERYTHING I did just made it worse. I had a bit of an epiphany I think. One thing Hassan really emphasized is respecting the cult member.

I think my approach was fundamentally disrespectful. While caring for her deeply and acting out of concern for her, I was still approaching it from a point of absolutely NO respect for her decision.

I think as ubm's we have to give up our desire to control this outcome, and be willing to say that if they choose this life we respect it. As confounding as their choice is, we don't approach them as a person doing something completely self-destructive, but as someone making an informed choice... because that is how they see themselves."

So to that end I am considering actually coming clean with my feelings about the WT. I also think I need to get some of my concerns and issues out there for the children to see.

The trick is not to force it on anyone.

I always ask first, "do you want to know how I feel about that?"

And perhaps even more important, when I describe an issue I have, such as the control of information, I always preface it with "I dont expect you to see it this way, this is just my perspective, can you see why I would see it that way?"

Is anybody still reading this?

What do you guys think?

CYP

49

JWs in Field Service Today--Christmas.

by M.J. in

i guess the local kh is doing a special field service outing today, which my wife will be a part of...on christmas morning.

i think this is intrusive and disrespectful.. did any of you do fs on christmas?.

is this a common thing among jws?

Check_Your_Premises

Skiing on Christmas. That's a great idea.

So is celebrating Christmas.

Being a person who is loved and respected by a witness, yet respectfully NOT being a witness, is probably the best witness of all!

CYP

9

Anybody know this kid? Sad Story!

by Check_Your_Premises in

sean patrick powell, 24, of aurora, il and formerly of grand haven, mi, at rest, november 21, 2006 in aurora, il.

he was born on october 2, 1982 in ionia, mi.. sean is survived by his loving wife, xxxxx; and son, xxxxx; his parents, xxxx and xxxx of grand haven, mi; his sister, xxxx of norton shores, mi; his parents-in-law, xxxx and xxxx, sr. of aurora, il; his sister-in-law, xxxx; and brother-in-law, xxxx.

; his nieces and nephews, xxxx.

Check_Your_Premises

Sean Patrick Powell, 24, of Aurora, IL and formerly of Grand Haven, MI, at rest, November 21, 2006 in Aurora, IL. He was born on October 2, 1982 in Ionia, MI.

Sean is survived by his loving wife, xxxxx; and son, xxxxx; his parents, xxxx and xxxx of Grand Haven, MI; his sister, xxxx of Norton Shores, MI; his parents-in-law, xxxx and xxxx, Sr. of Aurora, IL; his sister-in-law, xxxx; and brother-in-law, xxxx.; his nieces and nephews, xxxx. He is also survived by his grandmothers, xxxx and xxxx; as well as many aunts, uncles, cousins and friends.

He was preceded in death by his grandfathers, Fred Powell and John Hanulcik; and his special cousin, Nicholas Wills.

Sean was a communication specialist for Solar Communications, Naperville. He graduated from Grand Haven High School and attended Baker College in Muskegon, MI. He was a faithful, dedicated brother of the North Naperville Congregation fo Jehovah's Witnesses.

Family will recieve friends on Friday, November 24, 2006 at 2:00 until 3:30 PM at the Friedrich-Jones Funeral Home, 44 South Mill, Naperville. Memorial Services will begin at 3:30 PM at the funeral home chapel with Elder Martin Campbell officiating. A private family interment will be at Chapel Hill Gardens West, Oakbrook Terrace, IL.

(edited to remove names of family)

6

Maybe there is some hope

by nonamegiven in

well, many of you know my situation very well.

i'll give you all an update.

wednesday night i told my wife i wasn't going to go to one of the days of our 2 day assembly this weekend.

Check_Your_Premises

There is always hope. I think the ones who are most bombastic are the ones with some of the greatest doubts.

You are just going to have to be REALLY patient. Reading Hassan's books gives you the impression that there is some sort of fool proof method that you can apply and you will acheive a desired result.

This is probably true, but you have NO idea how long it will take before they are ready to ask the tough questions. You can't force them one bit. That is the frustrating part.

The trick is to steel yourself emotionally such that you can work desperately for something, which the outcome is of the highest significance, yet not be discouraged one bit if it ever happens.

Not easy.

Hang in there bro, you have many fellow travelers.

CYP

19

Local Worldies Get Night of Payback for Entire Year of Pesky Door-Knocking

by Check_Your_Premises in

jw
friends

apupi - pensacola.

"they just won't stop knocking" gasped local elder john swollenliver as he described the relentless barage of trick-or-treaters beating on his door.

"why do they keep knocking on the door!

Check_Your_Premises

This almost gave me goosebumps... your child has a chance to experience 'normal'. When my mom became a JW, my dad quit doing all the holiday stuff with us kids. I really missed the holidays, but I missed feeling 'normal', like I fit in with the rest of the kids, most of all.
You're a great dad!!

Well the credit goes to this board and the fine people on it. When I showed up here I had been hit by a mack truck.

"These guys saw a 1000 guys like me before. They knew every move I was going to make and how to head me off. They had me sliced and diced before I knew what hit me." -Ithinkisee's Dad

When I showed up here I was desperate, without hope, and without options. Now I am one step ahead of them! Now I have them sliced and diced. Yeah, it has been a dark and difficult road but I feel like I have reached a static point. They aren't gaining ground on me anymore, I have my strategies in place and slowly but surely I am the one gaining ground!

So when I said, "Here ya go, here is your first door", I said it for her, but I also said it for all you guys (my wife included) who have been robbed of so many precious moments and memories and relationships. It was a really poignant moment for me.

Here is the translation:

"Go knock on that door. Not to hand out bogus literature or to brainwash you, but for the only reason a kid your age should EVER be knocking on a damn door.... TO GET YOUR HALLOWEEN CANDY"

Up yours WT!!! Keep your grubby hands off my kid!!!

CYP

19

Local Worldies Get Night of Payback for Entire Year of Pesky Door-Knocking

by Check_Your_Premises in

jw
friends

apupi - pensacola.

"they just won't stop knocking" gasped local elder john swollenliver as he described the relentless barage of trick-or-treaters beating on his door.

"why do they keep knocking on the door!

Check_Your_Premises

You should have dressed one up like a JW with tie and a witnessing bag, that would really scare them.

That is funny! It would have made a good angle to the story also. Get some kids dressed up as witnesses, going knocking on the doors of witnesses on Halloween.

Terrifying indeed!

CYP

11

I took for the first time my kids tricker-treating !!!

by Lapuce in

jw
friends

yes i did it, i finally took my two kids out on halloween for their first time!!!

i will remember this i think for the rest of my life!

my two boys, the oldest 9, dressed as a pirate and the youngest 5 as spiderman.

Check_Your_Premises

Me too!!!

Felt great didn't it!

As much as I hope for the day when my wife has the courage to finally question this bunch of kookballs, I know it will be so painful for her when she realizes how many precious moments and relationships she lost forever just to stay in the good graces of a two bit publishing company that has to indoctrinate readers to keep 'em buying their stupid books and magazines.

The wt is just another thief of always.

CYP

Check_Your_Premises

Posts by Check_Your_Premises