buffy

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Posts by buffy

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  26

  Was Public Reproof Traumatic for You?

  by zenpunk in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i was reproved at the age of 17 and, believe me it was a nightmare at home.

  first, my parents felt such shame over me - i was such an evil disappointment to them.

  i would hear my mother talk on the phone to other sisters about how sad she was about the way i had turned out.

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  buffy

  Hell yes public reproof was traumatic. At a sleepover w/ a bunch of fellow witness girls, we played truth or dare. Well, all 5 of us admitted to each other that we had participated in one way or another, in oral sex. One of the girls felt so awful, she had to report herself to her the elders, one of which was her father. In her confession she felt the need to report all of us. So, all 5 of us were publicly reproved. What really pissed me off was that I had an apartment w/ one of the girls, and had lived away from home when the "incident" occured. But, the elders still called my mother into the judicial meeting. I had to sit there and confess to giving and rec'ing oral sex. I can still see the look on my mothers face. When I asked the one elder why my mother was there, he said they felt I needed her support.

  Then following the announcement to the congregation, a talk followed on immorality. Therefore, everyone knew we had committed some form of immorality. And the girl who originally confessed, well, she was never allowed to associate w/ us again.

  Buffy
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  80

  Larc's weekend survey

  by larc in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  could you please take a few minutes to answer the following questions:.

  1. your age.

  2. how long were you a witness.

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  buffy

  1. your age 26

  2. how long were you a Witness birth to 21

  3. how long have you been out of the religion. 5 years, df'd for 2 1/2 years

  4. which of the following symptoms did you experience as a witness.

  4a. depression

  4b. low self esteem

  4c. anxiety

  4d. psychosis

  5. Today, which of those symptoms do you have? a,b,and c on occasion

  6. Today, how would you rate your overall degree of happiness 1. much less happy than as a JW 2. somewhat less happy 3. just as happy 4. somewhat more happy 5. much more happy.
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  15

  CT or PA - new member

  by Lemon_Lime in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  hey everyone,.

  i grew up in ct, son of an elder, turned into pioneer, married early...etc....etc....all the while ignoring the wrong feeling in my stomach....finally my wife (now ex, but we are still really close friends) and i realized and got out, and took a bunch of friends with us.

  i've since moved out to the west coast, lived in sf for awhile, and just recently moved to the 'desert'......i'm available if anyone needs to talk, or rant, or wants to say hi....i'm 25 now and enjoying the experience of life, and wish the best for everyone here.. you can email me @ [email protected].

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  buffy

  Hi lemon lime,

  I'm from Lancaster, PA. Not far from Pittsburgh. Email me [email protected].

  Buffy
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  13

  How do you deal with dub friends?

  by In_between_days in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i would like to take the opportunity to thank everyone for their replys to my thread titled "i cant move on", and express my gratitude for your genuine and helpful advise.. i am happy to say that i am certainly in the process of moving on and healing the wounds that have been inflicted by the wt.

  there is only one problem that remains............. i have a few dub friends who i do still consider to be very good friends.

  i made a decision that i would never try to push my discoveries of the curroption within the org on them, and keep our conversations very neutral.

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  buffy

  In between:

  Yeah, I know what you're saying. As me and my dub friends starting hitting 18/19 yr old, non of us actually had the same interests at all. I was always the wild, outspoken one, the others were shy and conforming. We had total opposite tastes in everything: music, clothes, hair, etc. I thought about that quite alot. I know that I would have never been friends w/ those people if it weren't for them being dubs. We were all around the same age so we all went to the same school. They were the only people I was allowed to hang out w/. So, no matter how pissed I got at them, I had no choice but to get over it.

  Now, your family - that's a totally different subject. Your friends can shun you, but, you'll find new ones. You NEVER find another family. It's been really hard dealing w/ loosing my mom, aunt, uncle and some cousins. We were all very close. And, the first year, I cried alot. It still bothers me. My mom calls now though alot to see her grandson. But, stays clear of discussing me or her, just sticks to conversing about my son. It hurts though, when she takes my cousins away on trips and not me. That's something I don't think you ever get over. You just learn how to deal w/ it.

  Remember in high school, when you think your problems are the end of the world. Then you grow up and think, "God, I'd love to have the "problems" that I dealt w/ in high school, rather than the ones I have as an adult." Well, you'll think this is the end of the world, but, it's not. You're just starting your OWN life. If you need to chat, feel free to email me. [email protected].

  Buffy
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  19

  Aren't the elders supposed to visit df'd ones?

  by buffy in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  maybe someone can answer this.

  i thought that elders made it a point to visit df'd ones like 1 a year to see if they've thought about coming back, etc.

  don't get me wrong, i'm happy they haven't come to see me.

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  buffy

  Maybe someone can answer this. I thought that elders made it a point to visit df'd ones like 1 a year to see if they've thought about coming back, etc. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy they haven't come to see me. But, I remember elders going to visit df'd ones when I was still in the borg. Has this practice stopped? I know they visited a friend of mine after she was df'd a year, and that was just 2 years ago. They invited her to a meeting and asked is she wanted to start studying again.

  Just wondering.

  Buffy
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  14

  hello

  by EvilBabe in

  1. jw
  2. friends
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  buffy

  Hi there, welcome. Anxious to hear more about you.

  Buffy
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  13

  How do you deal with dub friends?

  by In_between_days in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i would like to take the opportunity to thank everyone for their replys to my thread titled "i cant move on", and express my gratitude for your genuine and helpful advise.. i am happy to say that i am certainly in the process of moving on and healing the wounds that have been inflicted by the wt.

  there is only one problem that remains............. i have a few dub friends who i do still consider to be very good friends.

  i made a decision that i would never try to push my discoveries of the curroption within the org on them, and keep our conversations very neutral.

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  buffy

  I know when I started pulling away from the borg. I cut off association w/ my dub friends. I knew that I was heading toward being df'd and I just didn't want to take them w/ me. They knew what I was doing and just let me go. In my 20 years in the borg, I thought these girls who I grew up w/ were my best friends. But, I realized that they had the same top priority as all the other JW's - to serve Jehovah. So, even though I missed them alot, I knew that we could never remain friends. Slowly, they're starting to leave. One friend recently called me to tell me she had been df'd and wanted to get together. I have no problem picking up where we left off, they're still my friends. Just in a different way now. In time you'll meet new friends, w/ the same interests you have. I'm a very sociable, approachable person so it was easy for me. I've had a new group of friends since I was 21 years old. And, they give me more then any of my JW friends ever did. So, don't worry, it hurts too loose friends at first, but eventually you'll move on.

  Buffy
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  11

  Living life on the outside!!!

  by haujobbz in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  since leaving the jws faith i have become a very naughty boy.

  since i left i have started to lie and not care,i swear a lot,i have even stolen something like a choccy bar or drink,.

  i suppose i feel mislead and have become a very rebellious boy, i wonder if any of you have experienced these changes in your personality.. but what pees me off , is say there is a god and hes watching me, i suppose im dead meat in his eyes due to being an unrepentant sinner.. so what would you do lead a life independent of god and do what you like when you want or would you take a chance and be good and assume there might be a god and hope to go to heaven or wherever.. but i am very happy thank goodness.

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  buffy

  First, yes, I was naughty after I was df'd. Naughty for awhile. Sex, drugs, alcohol, partying hard and yeah, I could swipe something small and not think twice about it. I know for me, I thought exactly like you did: WELL I'M GONNA DIE AT ARMAGEDDON SO WHAT DOES IT MATTER. But, as time goes on, you start to realize you can't live like that. I believe in God, I don't believe he's going to kill off good people, just cuz they're not JW's.

  You still have to have some morals to be a member of society. You just don't have to follow the overly strict morals enforced by JW's. Now, I have a son. And, I want my son to have his own set of morals.

  Buffy
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  16

  Armageddon and Jehovah's Witnesses?

  by kenpodragon in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  before you read the following.

  i would like to explain that i in no way hold the jehovah's witness beliefs, so please read the complete thought to fully understand my point.

  i looked at all these people that were elders, pioneers, and strong witnesses and figured i did not measure up.

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  buffy

  Dragon: that was incredible writing. My jaw dropped as I read it. Loved it.

  Undercover: I tend to think as you do. One minute I'm sure there's no way a loving God would destroy all "worldly" people. I mean I don't consider myself to be worthy of death. I'm not sitting in prison awaiting execution for any crime. So, I try to think like Lyineyes. If God is the type to kill off all the "worldly" and leave only JW's then, I'll take my chances w/ the "worldly." I like who I am, and as a JW I can't be myself. So, I'll stick w/ those who accept me for who I am and love me for whatever I believe.

  Buffy
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  47

  Do You Believe Any of "The Truth"?

  by XBEHERE in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i've been lurking for several months, its my first post here.

  i am currently an active jw.

  i have a very jw family so i have to be careful.

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  buffy

  XBEHERE,

  I think there are alot of active JW's like yourself. The child molestation issue has now brought light to the fact that the organization is far from perfect. In fact it has shown the org. to be down right disfunctional. JW's now share a common thread w/ Catholics (heaven forbid). Because of this issue, more JW's are confused and looking into faults of the org. that they may have never thought about before. When I brought up questions as a teenager I remember being told by my active JW mother, "You can't think like that, that's wrong. Don't question it, just know it's from Jehovah." Wrong, it's from imperfect men, not Jehovah.

  But, to answer your orginal questions, yes, I do still believe alot of what I was taught as a JW. I just posted a thread, explaining that I haven't yet been able to explore other religions because I still believe alot of what I was raised to believe. I'm slowly realizing that most of what I was taught was just crap. I'm getting there, and you will too.

  I agree w/ Roybatty, I know I do not want to be forced to believe anything. And, I sure as hell do not want to be forced to follow such outragously strict guidelines. I lived in fear as a JW, afraid that my free thinking would cause another talking too by the elders, afraid that I might piss God off and die on the spot. I refuse to live like that. If God didn't want us to think for ourselves he wouldn't have given us the brains to do so. So, why be a part of an org. that wants to control our every thought?

  Buffy