Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets.
(or)
Hello, this is Ron's toaster. Ron's new answering machine is in the shop for repairs, so please leave your message when the toast is done... (Cachunk!)
(or)
Hi, this is the toaster. The answering machine just eloped with the refrigerator, so I'm the only appliance left to take messages. I'm kinda new at this whole thing, but if you'll leave your name, number, and a brief message, I think I can handle whatever pops up.